what do u do when ur love life starts falling apart? How do u dump someone u don't love if they keep tellin u they love u n they want to be together forever? Some may say i have no heart but i do i love him in a friend way theres just someone else i've been lookin for in my life and its not him. But it'd hurt him so bad if i just said we can't be together because my feelings have changed. So how do i tell him i still want to be friends with him but he'll take his anger to the highest level ever. Well i dunno i don't wanna be around when it happens. When we started dating it was nice but everything changed after that 1 fight. I realized i really liked him but i just don't wanna be with him. why does this always happen to me?
well i'm for the most part over Robert. i still have thoughts of him every now and then but i am now dating a kid named josh A. I really like Josh he's really sweet what he gives me no one else could. He cares for me sooo much n it really makes me feel good n special. Oh and i just found out the first boy i ever loved (Josh R) is in foster care. He called me yesterday n said he was aloud to go home. But he also said "i still love u always have always will" y does he wait till i date someone else n really get into them? i talked to my friend Charlene [anarchybeyatch 3_0_3] n she helped me come to the conclusion i will not dump Josh A to go back to Josh R. But no matter what i do i'll regret it n now all i can really think about is what Josh R said to me last night. I NEED HELP! Now its weird i love 'em both they both make me really happy but how do i solve this? Y does this stuff have to happen to me? UGH! I hate things like this y can't just one person i love love me? Y does it have to be so hard? I dunno i'll wait n see what happens. What happens, happens!
heh. bad mood again same as its been forever! But this time i feel hate and love for the same person! heh. Yeah i love u Robert but i fuckin hate u too!!!! How could u let that little bitch Amber feel on u n not notice how i felt? Oh yeah u noticed the last time n u pushed her away after she tried unzipping ur pants! N yet i'm the one that said sorry n u just said its ok should have i been the one that was sorry? yeah w/e i hate u! N u stupid Slut Amber i asked u do please stay off him b/c i loved him n it hurt my own best friend n u did it anyway. n then u were like miswell hate me everyone else does! what a friend. heh. i hate life i hate love i hate everything!!!!
heh i dunno i've been down sence me n RObert broke up n for the last couple of days he's all i can think about. I guess the saying is true u never kno wat u have intill u lose it! heh. He was the most PERFECT thing i ever had. He still tells me he loves me n he said hes happy wen he gets around me n that wen he gets around me i make him forget all the bad stuff that ever happened n that i'm the only person he wants to be with. Well then y is he with lannie? he says hes not even happy to be with her so y is he? heh. Sometimes i wish i'd be in a coma so then i'd just forget everything and everyone n just start life over again heh. Maybe if i had short term memory loss i would forget i loved him i dunno but i just CAN'T forget him but like hes the ONLY thing that can make me happy but it makes me sad b/c he has another girl n he's not even happy to be with her. He wants to be with me so y can't he be? I hate to think about these things but right now its the only thing i can think of. N i'm sorry to the friends i let down or hurt for the past couple weeks i just guess Roberts the only person i've been wanting to be around. Sorry friends i guess i just fell in love with something that made me soo happy n still does but thats i guess wat loves about sometimes it hurts like a bitch but he makes me happy, sad, mad, cry, n weap. I'm really sorry to my friends that love me i love ya'll to no end but right now i need alone time to think n be with Robert i needa make things right with him i dunno how long it will take but i won't give up on the person i love n the person that loves me. Just please friends, sisters, n brothers just give me that time. Thats all i ask from ya'll!!! Love Always, Shelby
BAD mood! ever feel u'll never find anyone that loves u? yeah that kinda stuff. Well basicly my BF told me he never really liked me UGH! Y is it always my heart thats always broke? There goes 2 ppl that broke it! I think i'm done with love maybe i'll find someone in the long-run. Maybe the Lord will let us meet later on in my life but for right now i'm NOT getting in anymore relationships and i probley won't date for a while. I hate this type of feeling! U hear of so many others that their relationships r good and better than ever but its always me thats left crying and wishing someone would love me. Y ME?