[Simply Shelby]'s diary

685801  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-10-22
Written: (5278 days ago)

what do u do when ur love life starts falling apart? How do u dump someone u don't love if they keep tellin u they love u n they want to be together forever? Some may say i have no heart but i do i love him in a friend way theres just someone else i've been lookin for in my life and its not him. But it'd hurt him so bad if i just said we can't be together because my feelings have changed. So how do i tell him i still want to be friends with him but he'll take his anger to the highest level ever. Well i dunno i don't wanna be around when it happens. When we started dating it was nice but everything changed after that 1 fight. I realized i really liked him but i just don't wanna be with him. why does this always happen to me?

645837  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-08-14
Written: (5347 days ago)

well i'm for the most part over Robert. i still have thoughts of him every now and then but i am now dating a kid named josh A. I really like Josh he's really sweet what he gives me no one else could. He cares for me sooo much n it really makes me feel good n special. Oh and i just found out the first boy i ever loved (Josh R) is in foster care. He called me yesterday n said he was aloud to go home. But he also said "i still love u always have always will" y does he wait till i date someone else n really get into them? i talked to my friend Charlene [anarchybeyatch 3_0_3] n she helped me come to the conclusion i will not dump Josh A to go back to Josh R. But no matter what i do i'll regret it n now all i can really think about is what Josh R said to me last night. I NEED HELP! Now its weird i love 'em both they both make me really happy but how do i solve this? Y does this stuff have to happen to me? UGH! I hate things like this y can't just one person i love love me? Y does it have to be so hard? I dunno i'll wait n see what happens. What happens, happens!

619192  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-07-09
Written: (5383 days ago)

heh. bad mood again same as its been forever! But this time i feel hate and love for the same person! heh. Yeah i love u Robert but i fuckin hate u too!!!! How could u let that little bitch Amber feel on u n not notice how i felt? Oh yeah u noticed the last time n u pushed her away after she tried unzipping ur pants! N yet i'm the one that said sorry n u just said its ok should have i been the one that was sorry? yeah w/e i hate u! N u stupid Slut Amber i asked u do please stay off him b/c i loved him n it hurt my own best friend n u did it anyway. n then u were like miswell hate me everyone else does! what a friend. heh. i hate life i hate love i hate everything!!!!!!!! Sorry i ever fell in love with u RObert but now i'm in way to deep n i cant get out! THoughts of suicide run threw my head i've stayed strong for 5 months is this gunna let me down? UGH! how i'm hatin life

616032  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-07-05
Written: (5387 days ago)

heh i dunno i've been down sence me n RObert broke up n for the last couple of days he's all i can think about. I guess the saying is true u never kno wat u have intill u lose it! heh. He was the most PERFECT thing i ever had. He still tells me he loves me n he said hes happy wen he gets around me n that wen he gets around me i make him forget all the bad stuff that ever happened n that i'm the only person he wants to be with. Well then y is he with lannie? he says hes not even happy to be with her so y is he? heh. Sometimes i wish i'd be in a coma so then i'd just forget everything and everyone n just start life over again heh. Maybe if i had short term memory loss i would forget i loved him i dunno but i just CAN'T forget him but like hes the ONLY thing that can make me happy but it makes me sad b/c he has another girl n he's not even happy to be with her. He wants to be with me so y can't he be? I hate to think about these things but right now its the only thing i can think of. N i'm sorry to the friends i let down or hurt for the past couple weeks i just guess Roberts the only person i've been wanting to be around. Sorry friends i guess i just fell in love with something that made me soo happy n still does but thats i guess wat loves about sometimes it hurts like a bitch but he makes me happy, sad, mad, cry, n weap. I'm really sorry to my friends that love me i love ya'll to no end but right now i need alone time to think n be with Robert i needa make things right with him i dunno how long it will take but i won't give up on the person i love n the person that loves me. Just please friends, sisters, n brothers just give me that time. Thats all i ask from ya'll!!! Love Always, Shelby

605321  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-22
Written: (5400 days ago)

BAD mood! ever feel u'll never find anyone that loves u? yeah that kinda stuff. Well basicly my BF told me he never really liked me UGH! Y is it always my heart thats always broke? There goes 2 ppl that broke it! I think i'm done with love maybe i'll find someone in the long-run. Maybe the Lord will let us meet later on in my life but for right now i'm NOT getting in anymore relationships and i probley won't date for a while. I hate this type of feeling! U hear of so many others that their relationships r good and better than ever but its always me thats left crying and wishing someone would love me. Y ME?

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