i met the most wonderful girl in the entire world. i know what your thinking: "but you tried this once before and she betrayed you, why would you want to take that chance again?" im taking this chance because i feel that this girl is different, that she actually cares about me and doesn't just want to have someone to make herself feel better and once someone better comes along, she ditches them. i hope im not deluding my self.
all right, to give you the lowdown, my high school is very small, about 100 people in all, and all the seniors (which is my class) were given free scholarships to college, all tuition hours paid, which means that we can take as many classes as we want FOR FREE!!! and people in my class have the nerve to complain about it. All that they want from us is that we graduate high school on time, mantain a C average and go through these programs for like an hour a month, that's it, and some of the preps in my class still have the nerve to say that it's stupid and it's not worth their time. why don't they just fuckin drop out? i mean seriously if your not willin to sit through about 100 hours total of fun things that they offer us because the $18,000
worth of tuition isn't worth it, just quite, no one is forcing you, seriously, either stop bitching and shut the fuck up or go away before i slap the shit out of you!
all right, first off, you need to shut the hell up, if everything is as bad as you say, then you wouldn't be broadcasting to everybody on facking elftown. seriously im tired of you facking arseholes and biatches typing all this shite about how your life sux and your gonna commit suicide and all that crap. seriously, stop complaining, shut up, and move on, everything can get worse, trust me.
message written to a very annoying crap-filled person.
I haven't written in here for awhile. There has been so many things going wrong, the death of a friend, school work piling up, my family never being around, etc. It is needless to say that all this had tested my nerves and emotions and driven me the frayed edges of sanity. I became paranoid, constantly looking over my shoulder, I believe there was a time when I actually lost sight of what it meant to be myself. It was causing me to lose everything, friends, family, even my mind. It was all because I had no one to talk to that that I thought actually had the time or cared to listen, but I was wrong. I realized all of this one night when I was up in my loft and staring up at the sky. I realized that I was losing everything I cared about. I realized that I had lost myself. I had no idea where I was going, what I wanted to do, but lately this time of seclusion has given me the time I need to find what I lost. I found out that it didn't matter, because I had all the time in the world. I used to be worried that if I had no direction in life, I would be stuck in this town forever, but then I realized that I knew where I was going all along. I have everything laid out before me, all that anyone would ever want, I have a practically free ride to college, which gives me more time to find out what I want to do for the rest of my life. I have great friends that will be there for me when I need them, the only thing keeping me from them was me. I never actually lost myself, I had just lost my way, but I don't have to find my way just yet, I just have to focus on the ground right in front of my own two feet. I'm sorry to all those I've hurt in my temporary episode of insanity, but I only hope that you all can forgive me.
Mitchell David Ostry,
Gone not Forgotten
I didn't know you well, and i blame myself for that, but you were someone i could get to know, someone who could have possibly been a true friend under different circumstances. Why God chose to take you in your prime is something i can not and will not ever understand. It was unfair, unjust, and just plain wrong. You had your whole life in front of you and in an instant all your hopes, dreams, and goals were blown away by the wind. You had great plans for yourself, you were going to have a job that you would love, you were always happy, and you had great friends who where there for you whenever you needed it, just like you were there for them. You made everything fun, there was never a dull moment and nobody felt sad for long around you. Wherever you are i hope you know this and have found peace.
why doth not the angel of death visit my door, i wish to be free of my soul, my pain, my anger, my sorrow! RELEASE ME FROM MY SHELL OF FLESH, TAKE ME NOW UNTO THE BLISS THAT IS OBLIVION!!! i am darkness i am alone i am the one noone loves and yet i am the one for whom all care!! I wish no attention i wish to be in absolute nothingness! CAN SOMEONE END MY SORROW THAT IS MY PAIN AND UNITE ME WITH MY LOVE, without her i am nothing and when she is near i feel everything, happiness that she cares for me, anger that i cannot be there, fear that she will leave me, sorrow that i cant hear her sweet voice! perhaps we shall be together one day in this life or the next! *whispers* (just make my suffering end) *cries* (i only wish to feel nothing and everything i wish to be with her yet i am afraid to see her) (...just make it all stop...) *fades away* *echoes* (it all shall end soon...that i promise my self)
Georgina you are my hope my life and i only hope that one day we can finally cross that accursed ocean and be together and grow old. never forget that ill always love you
for my G
my love for you is like a power
it gives me strength
to make it throught the next hour
for without you my world is blank
my love for you is like a prayer
i no longer focus on my pain
it has delivered me from despair
i no longer cry in the rain
my love for you is like a curse
you are all i think about
you are my world my universe
and you chase out my doubt
i'll love you forever and always
for the rest of time
at least the rest of my days
and im happy i can call you mine
i am alone and heartless today, as with all days. finals are approaching fast and every body sinks into their normal attitude of dispising the ground i walk on because i am a lazy kid who doesnt give a fuck about school yet i ace every goddamn test. why is it that i am bestowed with this curse, please help me find my center peace and give me a reason to want to live through the rest of my destined life.