[Mafia Girl]'s diary

758036  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-03-04
Written: (5924 days ago)

just finished a poem... here it is...i dosn't have a title yet....

Once again I've found myself
alone and unaware
of just how fast I'm slipping
into the hands of life's dispair.
So i'm on my knees, bleeding
with my head hanging low, pleading
And oh, so softly I start to moan
as the tears of yesterday stain my face
My nails bite my fleshy palms
dreaming of coffins in satin and lace
hoping for power soon impeached...

734754  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-01-19
Written: (5968 days ago)

Kinda had a crappy day today....ya i think thats all you need to know...

I wrote a poem today....yea..

G.I. Joe

This boychild was born as usual.
And presented fake guns that go pop.
And tiny little tanks and miniature soldiers,
And hard green combat hats.
Then in the frankness of high school a classmate said,
You’re too weak and a geek.

He wasn’t always healthy, but tested real smart,
Possessed quick thinking and computer brilliance.
Abundant random facts and huge owl glasses.
Yet he went around apologizing,
for everyone saw a little weak geek.

He tried to fit in.
Exhausted everything he knew.
New fashion, hang at clubs, lift some weights.
But eventually his enthusiasm washed away,
Like newspaper in rain.

So he threw out his old dreams,
Of going to war.
And from a rope of self-hate he did hang.
With the camouflage colors painted on.
A smile on his lips.
Dressed in fatigues and combat boots,
“Such a strong boy”, everyone said.
His battle over at last
To every man a surrender in the end.

558302  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-22
Written: (6240 days ago)

My life came crashing down today
and still i wonder...why?
Did i do something to upset the gods
or just piss off another passer by?

thats how i feel today
so just move your ass out of the way!
carful or i'll eat you
my meds arn't here for another day.......

521706  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-03-14
Written: (6279 days ago)

The voices came back today...I can hear them...arguging behind my eyes...Costantly bickering...always telling me what to do....controlling my life...I hate the voices..I really do....but without them i'm gone...without them i'm not me.....no me..

375442  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-10-09
Written: (6434 days ago)

The Harvest Dance
Lets watch the dance of the Mongoose Queen,
The gentle song that the creature sings,
In the light of the bright harvest moon,
Her solitary dance will be created soon,
Hurry; let’s find a seat in the front,
To get a glimpse of the Mongoose strut,
To watch her majesty twirl and jump,
And when it ends she fall to a lump,
And the moon will fade and the clouds will come,
And we will have got to watch her some,
The vicious queen of the forest creature,
This once in a life time single feature,
That only some will live to recite,
The Mongoose dance in the harvest light.

372843  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-10-06
Written: (6438 days ago)

Part III The Musical
The sound of a breaking heart,
The sound of love ending,
The Cry of a l over left alone ,
The scream of hate as one finds the truth,
The plea of want from one to another,
The plink of a tear on dead skin,
The snap of a mind as death closes its grip,
Romance is an Orchestra of sound.

360700  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-09-24
Written: (6450 days ago)
Next in thread: 364935

You still feel guilt you still feel anger
You know who you are but today your a stranger
Your fists come down in sheets like rain
You hide your face from hints of pain
Theres nothing there but loathing and hate
your loves locked behined the gate
I cry to you to understand
I reach to try to hold your hand
Yet you tear away and leave me here
You turn your back on mindless fears
Instead of trying to overcome
the secret fears you told me of
You let the evil little voice prevail
i started a task i did not want to fail
but since you turned and didnt listin
I guess your the one that i'll be missin
I'm sorry that this is what i have to say
But I love you now and since yesterday
I know thats not how you fell inside
but thats what i try to think inside my mind
so please just grant me this little wish
just lean in close and give a kiss
To the secret love of Class 08
and carry out a secret fate....

opps did I just spill the beans on my love life? That theirs a guy out there I that I just cant talk to? Maby its all a fake...a lie...a dream?

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