[JessieAnn]'s diary

957258  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-07-12
Written: (4515 days ago)

Don't hold me high, I don't like to fall. <-- I won't drop you, no matter what. Aishiteru - Mullins <big>:D</big>
919397  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-03-13
Written: (4636 days ago)

AMY'S MESSAGE


"Autumn & Me"

We were 17 and on our own
When we hit the gas for the great unknown
I was named for a boy, she was named for the fall
And nothing much else really mattered at all

I knew what happened on her kitchen floor
And she knew what it meant when I wrote on the door
Secrets spilled into that dark
And everyone was a piece of my heart

It?s a lullaby
It?s a beautiful life
And it sings me to sleep most every night
So I hold it close
And I hide it away
That?s how I keep it from going astray
Love doesn?t need a rhyme or a reason to be
This is the story of Autumn and me.

We grew up fast in a few short years
And we littered the path with the tracks of our tears
But we carved our names in the proverbial wall
And nothing much else really matters at all

We earned every line in our 25 years
We cried over boys and we laughed over beers
I wouldn?t trade the girl for a song
She lets me know right where I belong

Rooftop dancing in the summer heat
New car crash on a one way street
Strangers moving up to the fourth floor
Strange, now nobody knows me more

It?s a lullaby
It?s a beautiful life
And it sings me to sleep most every night
So I hold it close
And I hide it away
That?s how I keep it from going astray
Love doesn?t need a rhyme or a reason to be
This is the story of Autumn and me.


You girly are amazing. And please stop apologising for ranting. It's good and you need too. You have been there for me countless times. And well... freakhog... you are totally amazing. And this song I found reminds me of you. Thankyou for being you. Love you dearly. Jessie xx
Hope this makes you smile :D
909351  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-02-13
Written: (4664 days ago)

What do you do when you would do anything for a guy as friends. You go out, natural progression and feelings for each other for months. Then all of a sudden you can't read him any longer. All of a sudden all your insecurities you have come out. The moment you need him, he's just too busy for you.

Then as you break up he is talking to the girl he split with yuo for, and invites her around his house (the day you can't go, because he is busy??).

You get angry, because I deserved better than that. Especially off him. He owes me for what I have done for him. I would still be there if he needed me, what ever when ever, cos I love him to bits. But he's a twat to you.

Soon as you blog about him with an angry message - he's angry intially - then realises he actually hurt me. He's sorry and sends you this message?? AFTER YOU FOUND A REBOUND BOY!!

''I want my best friend back. If I could do things differently I would. I would still have let Friday happen. I wouldn't of spent time playing a fucking pointless game and ignored what was really important, you. You know I am shit with relationships. I owe you so much and this is how I thank you. I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. But I did and I am a dick for it. I wanna meet to tell you everything. And I hope this guy you meeting treats you right and don't fuck you over like I did. I'm sorry. I don't wanna loose my best and most loved mate. I wish things had been different and they could of been if I wasn't blind to what I wanted and what was important. Jess Lorraine, you're my best mate at boldu an I love you for everything you have done for me. I'm sorry.xx''

I know it seems pathetic, but I HONESTLY am stuck on this one. xx

907946  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-02-09
Written: (4668 days ago)

''I've been thinking about it for quite a while. More than month easy. But wasn't sure how you felt. Now I am, as you can tell and am so much better for it too :D. Xxxx''
907097  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-02-06
Written: (4671 days ago)

I know you are just a boy. And of course, being who you are you think with your dick. But why... why can you not just leave Kelly be. Why can you not just let the heart ache stop. Why be so low to send her those lyrics. I don't care if you love her. I love her and never treat her the way you do. You know you don't deserve her. I don't think she can honeslty take much more of your bullshit. please.
Please leave her alone before I have no Best Friend left.
The lyrics were sweet but why say things at work and behind her back.
You may block me or be offline... but I will continue
You need to realise.

906468  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-02-04
Written: (4673 days ago)
Next in thread: 906613

Chris: hello there

Jess: Hey, Hows it going?

Chris: alright and you

Jess: meh! Having fun?

Chris: why meh? nt really lol

Jess: It's doesn't matter... just stuff lol.

Chris: :( ok

Jess: What have you been so busy with?

Chris: lol nout, some uni stuff.

Jess: No cos if I say you will think I am either crazy or
stupidly paranoid lol.

Chris: kk lol dw then *Huggles*

Jess: Thats cool. yeah tomorrow at some point I have to write a 700 word easy as to why I wanna OT. lol. Not looking forward to it.

Chris: lol

Jess: *hugs* sorry just noticed the pounced huggles.

Chris: lol its kl

Jess: Are you sure you are okay, another paranoia stint I know... but you have seemed either distant or really off since thrusday... and well if your going to fhinish me do it now.... while we can still be friends.

Chris: im kool. honestly i am. im just thinkin if we do stick with goin out an then end it later we most likely wont have what we do which would suck.

Jess: I know I seem a little desperate, I'm not just well... you have been weird fro days and usually I can read you like a book and I don't want to loose you as a best friend. Doesn't help that depression has set in again lol.

Chris: im cool but dont wanna mess you about, you know me too well lol

Jess: Well the question is do you feel something that is more than friends or not?

Chris: yea i do

Jess: do you feel something that your looking for, as in what was missing with others?? I want honesty...

Chris: i know

Jess: I never ask anything more than honesty

Chris: everything i look for in a girl is what you have an wit us being best mates i do feel more

Jess: ...

Chris: buts theres a fear i have which is like, if something happened an we split then we woldnt be as we are when we are all matey

Jess: I know, but the way you have been acting now... emans we are acting less than we were when we were just mateys,.

Chris :yea, thats what ive been thinkin to me we are more distant, not tlkin as much etc

Jess: Okay.

Chris: i think maybe we were better as best mates. i dont no
Jess: lol.

Chris: u no im bad with relationships lol

Jess: Thing for me is, now I know (at Least I do) have feelings that is more than just mateys. lol.... well I would rather you be completly hoenst and not dodge around the subject. I am too blunt to dodge around the subject. I don't think we are gonner loose a friendship through this. I think if it's meant to be then it will pull us closer together, all the other things that have happened since I have moved here have. I am bad with relationships.

Chris: same

Jess: For me my problem is, is where I stand with you. Paranoia about other girls ie Andrea lol.... and getting used to us being more than friends. Thing is last tuesday felt soo good lol.

Chris: ye. andrea lol. theres nout with andrea

Jess: A little too impulsive for me lol.... but fab.

Chris: we have a chat now an then cos of Matt bein a dick lol

Jess: I have spent the last 3 months with you talking about her a Keryn and other people. Lol. I know I am stupid.

Chris: lol true. bout the girl thing lol

Jess: Emma and Oli reffered to them as a bit of skirt. lol. your metaphor of ''orange baskets '' lmao

Chris: how'd you mean skirt? lol

Jess: something good to look at. But not in reality.

Chris: ooo i got u. hmm

Jess: As I look at this... we have been through more than this. I.e. might of/maybe sleeping together... lol

Chris : ye lol

Jess: And we still haven't tested this relationship. It's new different and yeah, ultimatly scary. But I am not here to convince you, you need to know yourself. i can reassure you. But I still don't know myself... it's all new. But I don't feel myself walking away any time soon. So it's up to how you feel I guess.

Chris: *hug* :)

Jess: ...
15 MINUTES LATER! ...

Chris: oki doke, ive thought about it quite a bit. as you can probably tel from me not replyin lol

Jess: no shit lol.#

Chris: im come to the conclusion that i wanna try it i dont wanna stop and regret it in a month or whatever

Jess: *smiley!*

Chris: so i wanna try it, we only just started the extra step and its gonna be a lil scary.

Jess: So I can stop crying out of fustration lol.

Chris: yea lol, lets give it time and see what happens

Jess: I don't know what to say. But I am happy.

904393  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-01-29
Written: (4679 days ago)

Christopher Brian Samuel Mullins.

899370  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-01-16
Written: (4692 days ago)

Sit wiggle wiggle wiggle, Sit wiggle wiggle wiggle.


''Destiny is just an Excuse to fuck up.''

891124  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-12-25
Written: (4714 days ago)

Again, it has been a weird day. I love Christmas, even though I find myself in high disbelief op Christian belief. I love having my family around, I love having Miki live with us, I love the presents and I certainly love the food.
But sometimes, I find it difficult to concentrate on the things that should matter the most. My education seems to be slipping again and I am so worried I will fail again. A levels will never come easy to me I guess. I can achieve them, as previously shown. It is just very difficult when it's the first thing I have ever found that I have to really work at, if I want. Rather than an almost, innate possibility.

885672  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-12-11
Written: (4728 days ago)

Good in the dark, but can see clearly in the day.
I bluff my way through life, so far I win.
I can say 'Sheep' 29 times in a general convosation.
I'm in fear of being raped. I'm the sheep in the piss take nativity play.
But Tim is the Stoner Shepard.
O_o
I like it when he cups my hand,
and presses his palm in mine.
He somehow makes everything okay.
BFF.
I am totally in love with my Friends'.
Is it wrong that I find an Emo Guy extremely fit.
Favourite Song: Running Up That Hill-Placebo.
My memory is shite.
Somehow, people think I am intelligent.
I do like the English Language.
I like being opinionated.
Is it wrong I still believe in Chivalry and Romance?!

872498  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-11-08
Written: (4761 days ago)

You just such a rejected-asshat-fannypants!



And I think you should deal with that.




FAVOURITE SONG: Through Glass - Stone Sour





Miss JessieBella is thee name.

I like lying on you when I'm snoozy as you stroke my nose. It makes me so dreamy, warm and so comfortable. Thanks Babes.
BFF.
o_0 Yet Again It Seems You Are Trying To Hard...

So, Yeah, You Could Act The Nicest Person In The World.
& Still Fail To Impress Me,
As Well As The Possiblity of Boring Me.
So I'm Saying Deal With That!
I Just Do Not Do Pretending &
I Can Be Judgemental & A Snob.
I Do Not Label Myself.
& I Find It Funny When You Do.
It's Like You Have Nothing Better To Do ŵ Your Life...
But Pretend &
Assume Something That You Are Just Not.
I Bitch, I moan & I Rant Excessivly.
But I Like It That Way.
I Generally Do Not Reply To 'Hi' Messages,
Turkish People (Not Racism Just You Lot Annoy Me!)
& Comment's As To Whether I Look Hott Or Not.
I Am Just So Over You.

Pillow Talk. <3

I Am Totally In Love...
ŵ My Friends.
They Really Are Amazing People.
Hmmmm... Right Now... Blokes Confuse Me.
I Am However, Enjoying Being A 'Flirtie Bertie'.
My Life Has Become Legendary.
I Am The Biggest Gig Slut Ever.
Glowsticks Just Make Life Somehow Worth While.
I Like How I Can Feel Myself Discovering Myself Through What I'm Experiencing.
Coffee Is My Ambrosia In This World.
Along ŵ Chud & Lollipop's. :D


x

868418  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-10-28
Written: (4772 days ago)

o_0 Yet Again It Seems You Are Trying To Hard...

So, Yeah, You Could Act The Nicest Person In The World.
& Still Fail To Impress Me,
As Well As The Possiblity of Boring Me.
So I'm Saying Deal With That!
I Just Do Not Do Pretending &
I Can Be Judgemental & A Snob.
I Do Not Label Myself.
& I Find It Funny When You Do.
It's Like You Have Nothing Better To Do ŵ Your Life...
But Pretend &
Assume Something That You Are Just Not.
I Bitch, I moan & I Rant Excessivly.
But I Like It That Way.
I Generally Do Not Reply To 'Hi' Messages,
Turkish People (Not Racism Just You Lot Annoy Me!)
& Comment's As To Whether I Look Hott Or Not.

I Am Just So Over You.


Pillow Talk. <3

I Am Totally In Love...
ŵ My Friends.
They Really Are Amazing People.
Hmmmm... Right Now... Blokes Confuse Me.
I Am However, Enjoying Being A 'Flirtie Bertie'.
My Life Has Become Legendary.
I Am The Biggest Gig Slut Ever.
Glowsticks Just Make Life Somehow Worth While.
I Like How I Can Feel Myself Discovering Myself Through What I'm Experiencing.
Coffee Is My Ambrosia In This World.
Along ŵ Chud & Lollipop's. :D

859336  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-10-03
Written: (4797 days ago)
Next in thread: 859652

The Dirty Thirty... 30 unknown facts/secrets about yourself:

1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship?
Cheating and I didn't love him anymore.

2. What are your personality flaws?
I am often paranoid and very ubbly at the same time. Too loud I guess. Sometimes to much of a flirt.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
Drinking coffee and waiting for a lift to school.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Chatting to peeps on msn

5. Are you any good at math?
not really. 2 hours on one standard deviation question in psychology.

6. Your prom night?
Was amazing, apart from stupid Aileen and Jason. But dancing like a whore is always good. Food terrible!

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Yep... The one who designed Howick gardens, named Lord Lorraine.

8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?
nope... but maybe for uni.

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?
yes! :D

10. Last thing received in the mail?
Glasgow Caledonian university prospectus.

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
4

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?
Often cos bastard peole never pick up the phone. I would give up ifthey didn't ring me back... love you guys.

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
Bwitched! - they were actully really good.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Yep... with hearts and smiley faces Yes i am that cool.

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
when he was drilling my teet and then slipped and drilled my gum. Or when i hade two teeth taken out.

16. What is out your back door?
a forest. I literally live in a forest.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
Long essay, then going to the pub with one of the guys.

18. Do you like the ocean?
yep... hate the jellifish though.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?
Popcorn isn't realyl a christmas thing is it?

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yeah, was actually amazing and quite interesting.

22. Something you are excited about?
Getting a text. Sad but my life is very boring lol.

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
blackcurrant.. and it's JELLY.

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
Yep.

25. Describe your keychain:
Has patrick (from spongebob auare pants which matt made me), a miami ring, a russian doll, car keys for the Jeep, house keys and a scooby.

26. Where do you keep your change?
The purse or the massive change bottle in the common room, which is a smirnoff ice bottle.

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
Drugs talk on friday... if singing along to the venga boys counts with different words... about amphetamines. Infront of 200 people.??counts?

28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
Shinjuku jacket.

29. What was the weather like on your graduation?
raining.

30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed
closed.

857833  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-29
Written: (4801 days ago)

Did a drugs course today, was sort of interesting but the women refused to pronouce her H's, which might I add is fecking annoying. She also asked us questions, so we'd answer and she would tell us we were wrong, when, blantently I was right. Or she wouldn't answer our questions, say it was covered later, when it fecking wasn't. JESUS, how hard can it be to be a teacher?? Stupid mofoo!

857231  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-09-27
Written: (4803 days ago)

Feeling really paranoid...

855591  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-22
Written: (4808 days ago)
Next in thread: 855592

07881586926

becca duffields number

853378  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-09-16
Written: (4814 days ago)

how many have u done out of the possible 139:

(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
(x) done weed
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) drank alcohol

SO FAR: 5

Level 2
(X) are/been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(x) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight

SO FAR: 10

Level 3
(x) snuck out of a parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
( ) gone out on a blind date.

SO FAR: 13

Level 4
(x) had a crush on an older person
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
(x) seen someone/something die

SO FAR: 16

Level 5
(x) had/have a crush or liked on one of ur friends.
( ) been to Paris
( ) been to Spain
(x) been on a plane
(x)thrown up from drinking

SO FAR: 19

Level 6
( ) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) been mosh pitting

SO FAR: 20

Level 7
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken pain killers
( ) love/loved someone who you cant have
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel

SO FAR: 23

Level 8
(X) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up

SO FAR: 28

Level 9
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledging
(x) cheated while playing a game.
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school

SO FAR: 33

Level 10
(x) used a fake/someone else's ID
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
( ) killed a snake

so far: 36

Level 11
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed/vandalized
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a deer

SO FAR: 40

Level 12
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car/motorcycle/4-wheeler accident

SO FAR: 43

Level 13
( ) had/have braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 45


Level 14
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes

SO FAR: 50

Level 15
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the world
( ) swam in the ocean/gulf
(x) felt like you were dying

SO FAR: 53

Level 16
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins

SO FAR: 58

Level 17
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) kissed in the rain

SO FAR: 63

Level 18
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care/cared about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach

SO FAR: 68

Level 19
(x) crashed a party
(x) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true

SO FAR: 72

Level 20
(x) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed a word indicating a form of genitalia in class
( ) swimin with dolphins

SO FAR: 75

Level 22
(x) got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x) Sat on a roof top

SO FAR: 78

Level 23
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night

SO FAR: 80

Level 24
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had/been in a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone

SO FAR: 84

Level 25
(x)believe in ghosts
(x)have/had more than 30 pairs of shoes throughout your life
(x)gone streaking
( )gone to jail

SO FAR: 87

Level 26
(x) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) been easily amused

SO FAR: 91

Level 27
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made a porn video
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed

SO FAR: 94

Level 28
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dippin in a pool
(x) been kicked out of your house

so far: 104

Level 30
(x) Been used
(x) fell going up the stairs
( ) licked a cat
(x) bitten someone
(x) licked someone

SO FAR: 108

repost this with...
ive done (108) out of the 139 stupid things

 The logged in version 

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