AM I waisting my time?
this et is realy depresing.. o im so sad and weak and cant help myself and o please shoot me in the head so i might die and wrot,,,ow i forgot im not even worthy 2 be part of the earth... im nothing and never will be... im such a idiot and mylife is so bad... no one in the world feels like me... no one will ever understand.. i got all these problems and it wount be ever beter... im so young and already thinking of dieng and being depressed and yea i am just nothing.. crawling back in the darkness and dieng there.. yea thats all i can do.,. because i love being controled by surcumstanses and things hapening and poeple around me and friends telling me what 2 do...i love it.. its the only life for me...
"U KNOW THATS WHAT IS MAKING ME SICK!!!!!!!!!!
THIS elftown is a hell hole for idiots thinking like this... its a depressed pease of crap place... o my life..
BOO HOO GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!
this is my God!!!!!!!!if urs is not as mine...get urself a new one...and get urself a life...
My God is
and my BEST FRIEND
***soon coming King***
!!!!Lord of everything!!!!
Dont tell me thought he is enything difrent from this..and its only the start off His awsome power...lol...
O and if that sounded like a chalange.. ur right....
you know it doesnt mater how much i tri 2 build a bridge over 2 u... a inturnaty will be shorter if u dont build one 2 me also... i cant spend all my time and eford on u and tri 2 get 2 know u beter if u dont even give me a little bit back... so ill be waiting till i get something 2 buitd with... it always took 2 too have a relationship..
ok..i think ll wright a sumary of what all hapend 2 me every night from work...lol..ju
ok.. well there are a couple of insidenses...l
ow yea the first time i traveld 2 my house i took a nuther path...from oxford circus i took bus 25 tat goes 2 stratford and then bus 69 or 58 to leyton.... but lol... i climbed on bus 25..took a nap woke up....felt wierd for some reason..sat there 10 min and then asked a guy infront of me if we are near stratford..lol
the uther time i took a nap(me and my naps) at the back of the bus...lol..i think this was the best...i woke up with a bump of the bus...drool coming off my mouth at the side..lol...im serious...i was in a nuther world or something..fas
ok this was also funny...it was at travagler...i got there saw a buddy of mine started 2 get in my old mood of mistiff...it was kind of cold...so i saw this blond haired i woke neer her..lol...and showted at my friend in my launguge(afrikaans) come here its nise and warm ,why do u want 2 stand there if u can stand along side this beautyfull chick..lol..he came near me laughting and i walked 2 the back of me with my back turned...my freind said i must be carlul ill bumped into her...i turned and looked right into her eyes..i sad sory and she said 2 me in my languege, its ok...my friend laughed at me..i meen here i just spoke of this girl in my languege thinking now one understands us and there she did,lol...but what saved me was she listening 2 music wth her earfones on...but i think she heard me.,..lol... she sat at the back were i usualy sit and we sat more 2 the front... my friends nearer 2 her and me look t them and so i can see her also..lol..so we took of woth the bus 2 leyton and i see this uther guy comeing up...lol.i just went hello in my languegew at him..and so he was also a South african..lol..
ok..this wasnt the funniest morning but yea it was a experience for me... i climbed in the bus at travagler... sat at my usual place at the back...then this guy cam and sat at the uther side of me at the back..each of us in our conrner..ok u have 2 understand this morning i was alittle tired... he asked me if i want a piece of bread and something else(cant remeber) we started 2 talk and so on... but i knew that he was yea..gay...but i was tired like i said and u can take advantage of that...we started making jokes and so on..so he was the same age as me...wasnt so strong( not that im strong) so ui werent thretent by him(ill tell u know why i could have been) he lived almost near me...also in leyton, so he said if i dont was something 2 drink at his house and so on an then we can chat more...i could feel this guy wants 2 have company and that he seeks something more oin life...and yea i went...he is a cool guy, and so i went,and what a house inside..if i could live like that..loll..en
the uther nights was just South Africans thinking that i cant understand them and they made asses about them selfs..this one guy said yea i want 2 get drunk and so on, what a fool,such a low life he must have poor guy, and then a draqueen last night that had alot of orgasms in the street and said the whole time in its wierd woman voice,"ow i cant believe this,ow,.."lol
thanx for all the poeple that care about me..im realy alright..dont wory ill survive, lol i always do... i learned alot this last year.... enyway..i just want 2 blab and ek wil bos gaan and say that lol ok this wasnt so funny 2 me, last night, i met this girl on the bus(me going home,after i misted my work,dont want 2 talk about it) yea se was alright looking not that i care..lol..i went 2 sit at the back and yea se came and sat also there...just on her corner and me in mine..just like i like it...lol...the first words she spoke was do u have a tichu for me...i said im sory i dont and then felt actualy sory that i didnt have... but then i ignored her like i usualy do 2 girls..sometim
Dead past... what future?
ok!!!! I had enough i say enough!!!!! im not the person i used 2 be.. i never spoke words so clear as this... Why?? open up..enyone listenig?? dont care...who cares...me?? things falling apart...mendin
i c now that i dont have one path but alot of small paths that forms one...i am the one that choose my own destiny...
O so now wat??