Well… I’m in work and very bored… I should be packing things into boxes really, but I don’t want to D: So I thought I’d update my ET diary since I haven’t done it for soooo long, and it used to be my way of remembering all the awesome and not so awesome things that happen to me. And a LOT of things have happened to me since my last diary entry XD Soooo, wow, it's been about 4 months since me and Rhys broke up, and i swore off men after that... But that failed XD About a month ago i met a guy called Steve... Aaaaand long story short we're together now and i'm totally and completely head over heels for him :) he's so much nicer and more fun than Rhys, and any of my previous boyfriends for that matter. Example, we went out this weekend and ended up carrying a sofa into the middle of wrexham, sitting down on the side of the road and getting wrecked. Sounds ridiculous, but it's the kind of spontanius insanity that keeps me interested :D we go camping, pubbing, clubbing or just chilling at home playing on the PS3, he's like my best friend as well as my boyfriend, he's perfect :)
So i'm a happy bunny in that respect. I've also got a part time job in an office, which pays very well considering i only make tea and do filing XD Proper no brainer. Plus i work with my mum, which is cool :D Speaking of which, i'm not arguing with my mum as much anymore and home life is becoming more and more chilled out.
Education now :D I'm still at Yale, still not enjoying it, but putting up with it for the sake of going to uni next year or the year after. I've got an unconditional offer for Glyndwr, and an interview for Farnham in April, so i'm happy.
So basically, life is very, very good at the moment :)
Happy happy happy ♥
I wish i'd never even met him. I was happy before he fucked me over, just like all the others. Wanker.
Beki is le happy again X3 Yay XD
So things ended with Rhys. He just 'couldn't be arsed' apparently o.o i'll admit, i was gutted at the time... For about an hour. Then i talked to a few of my friends, remembered how much i adore being single and going out on the pull, and realised that i don't need a boyfriend to be happy. And that in turn made me very happy ^_^ So things are good on that front, people keep asking me if i'm ok and looking concerned when i seem thrilled about the whole thing XD
Busy weekend this weekend! I went out for a drink with Alex last night, and i haven't seen her in yonks so that was nice, and we've arranged to go out again TOMORROW night, with Mizz and Alan, so it'll be just like old times X3 and i'm going to the chinese tonight with my wife XD THEN when Ruth comes home for Christmas, me her and Alex are going for another Rosies night, dressed up as hookers (we have the best ideas XD) so yeah, spending all my money and having a damn good time ahoy!
So yes, Beki is happy, single, loving her friends and enjoying life very much at the moment ^_^
Love on ye!
Eh, feeling a bit down today =/ and when i feel down, i rant here :D Lots has been going on recently. You know how one minute you're on top of the world and everything is great? And the next eeeeverything comes crashing down around you, and you realise that you're only human and shit happens. Yeeeeeah, that's basically what's happening XD I'm arguing with my mum again, which is shit, but to be expected i suppose. It just brings me down =/ i'm not sleeping properly either. At the start of college i was fine, going to bed at 10.30 and getting up at 6am without a problem, but recently my insomnia has started to come back. I'm surviving off 2-3 hours sleep a night, if that, and it's not doing anything good for me. I'm not eating either, which is REALLY unusual for me, as i normally eat like a horse. I'm eating like a packet of crisps, a kinder bueno and a muller rice every day, and that's it. I've lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks, which doesn't sound like a lot, but it feels like it =/ i think it's because i'm worrying alot, about this and that... College mainly. It's sad, because i was enjoying it so much at first, but now i'm REALLY starting to hate it. The course is nothing like what i expected, my tutor has turned from cool to mega-bitch, and i don't really get on with anyone in my class except Amz and Sol. It's just been one big let down =[ The other thing that's bugging me is my boyfriend. As if. It's been, what, 3 weeks? And it's already going down the shitter as far as i can see... I should have realised that it wasn't going to work, i'm an awful person to be in a relationship with, this has been proven by my many failed relationships in the past. Only difference is this time i don't actually know what i've done wrong o.o the last ones it's been obvious: the guy's been violent, i've got bored, one of us has cheated. Those are the three reasons for my relationship cock ups. But this time it's just weird. He just seems to have built a wall between us since me jack and shelley stayed at his over the weekend o.o He was fine with me till saturday night, then he barely said a word to me till i went home sunday morning, and since then he's been really distant o.O i've been going back over and over the weekend, trying to work out if i did anything stupid or hurtful, but i can't think of anything, and he won't talk to me, he just keeps saying 'everything's fine' =/ the weird thing is, it's upsetting me :O im normally so laid back in relationships, but i've lost my 'meh, fuck it' attitude XD dear me.
Whatever, it'll all sort itself out soon hopefully. If not then, prepare for more rants :D
WHAT IS IT WITH MEN AND NOT BEING ABLE TO ORGANISE ANYTHING EVER?!?!?! D; gaaaaaaah. They would be lost without women. Seriously. As if i'm up at 8am, on my day off, trying to sort out a big mess that two men have managed to get themselves in just by speaking to eachother for more than 5 minutes, JESUS. IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS.
But, i am a woman. I can sort things like this out, it's what i do. Compromise, compromise... Cinderella, you WILL go to the ball. Or in this case, Dale and Rhys, get your arses moving, you WILL go to Manchester XD
Not weeeelll D; AGAIN!!! Why do you do this to me, world? I've already had Swine Flu, as if i deserve to be ill again after that! You big gay =/
It's half term as well, as if i need to be ill for half term XD oh well, at least i've got loads of time to sleep it off :p i need to be better before Jack's! MAAAAAAGH.
I'm gonna be soooo bored this half term. I hate having no money ¬___¬ it means i can't see anyone, cuz i'm stuck here in the arse end of nowhere, while all my mates pretty much are in wrexham and beyond D; No money for buses, no money for petrol, and the only ones who are in walking distance are still a million years away as far as i'm concerned D; most of them im probably not going to see till after half term =[ i wanna see Rhys, but he lives nearly an hours drive away from me, and no matter how much i nag my mum, that's not going to happen XD DAMN ALL STUDENTS FOR BEING SO POOR D;
I'm done now.
Because once again i am bored XD
Does your Facebook password have anything to do with a boy?
What's one thing a guy can do to make you like them?
Not take himself too seriously :p
Are you a girly girl?
Big or small purses?
Big :D i have lots of stuff XD
Do you enjoy drama?
Secretly, yes XD
Do you dress up on Halloween?
Yes!!! :D im still 12 at heart :3
Do you call anybody by their last name?
A few people yeah. Wilson, Walker, Cross etc etc..
How many guys will read this just because it says "FEMALE SURVEY"?
i haven't put it as that ;p
Can you put on mascara without opening your mouth?
Have you ever been called a bad influence?
Eyeliner or mascara?
Heels or Flats?
Skirts or jeans?
Straight or curly hair?
Hoops or dangling earrings?
Have you ever had your heart broken?
Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?
Do you have a best friend?
Do you like your life?
Yep, it's fun :D
Ever walked into the guy's bathroom?
Yes XD fuun times, drama year 10 XD
Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
Ever slapped a guy in the face?
Yes, a few times <.< >.>
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
I've cried at night, but never cried myself to sleep o.o
Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
Yes.. Well no, i get easily distracted, so i might think about them for a while then see something shiny and completely forget XD
So the last person you kissed asks you to marry them, you say?
LOLWHUT?! Basically XD
How many days til your next birthday?
Umm... 2 months. Ish?
Are you wasting your time on someone?
Have you ever had a really big fight with a friend?
How's life going for you?
Do you have anything you'd like to say, but cant?
Yes, sort of
Last person to make you laugh?
Umm... Toni i think, suggesting Me and Amz vs Alien and Predator XD
Has anyone made you feel like crap lately for something they did?
Is it okay to kiss people when you're single?
Have you ever broken anyone's heart?
Is your birthday on a holiday?
Nay, but its very close to christmas
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Yeah, when i need to.
Why did you last cry?
Umm... I can't remember. Possibly a sad film XD
Are you cheating on someone right now?
Ever been cheated on?
Not that i know of XD
How is your heart lately?
Beating, as usual.
When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
Was the last person you hugged a male or a female?
Female, twas Gemma :D
What's the hardest thing you've gone through in the past few months?
Umm... Nothing really, life is pretty good.
Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
What would you do if a crazy bitch ran at you with a knife?
Run at her, probably one of my mates ;p
Do you remember who you had a crush on in seventh grade?
Who was the last person who told you that things were going to be okay?
Um... God i dont remember, probably one of my counsellors from yonks ago XD
Is anyone on your bad side?
Tell me about the shirt you're wearing?
White, with black lace, corset-ish. One of my faves <3
Do you look at old pictures and laugh?
Be honest, is the last person you texted attractive?
Ever seen someone just roll out of bed and still look hot?
Yes, some people just do it. Whereas i look like the bog monster 8)
What's the background on your cell?
ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY TANK CAT INTO MORDOR!!! XD
Does someone like you?
The last person you texted was it a he or a she?
Who can make you feel better in difficult situations?
Amz Lerrd, Alex, Chad cuz he's funny XD ... all my other mates who are awesome <3
Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes :D XD
If you had to choose between money and love what would you choose?
Both pl0x XD
Which do you prefer: eyes or lips?
Do you have any 'naughty' photos on your phone?
Nope... Unless a photo of a MASSIVE spliff counts? XD
Your drunk & lost walking down the road, who is with you?
Who knows? XD
Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with a B or N?
Yup, both :D
Do you open up to people easily?
When will your next kiss be?
Tomorrow morning if he gets his arse out of bed before i go to Liverpool 8)
What comes to mind when I say 69?
Sexy time XD
Have you ever cried over a text?
Does it bother you when you text somebody and they take forever to respond?
Nah, i do the same XD
Are you scared of anything?
Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
LOL no XD
You never know what you got until you lose it?
What annoys you about text messages the most?
You can NEVER text fast enough when you're pissed off XD
Think a lot before you fall asleep?
Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
Maybe <.< >.> :3
Are you ever paranoid when someone is reading your text messages?
Nah, i dont care XD
Is there someone you will never forget?
Yes, lots of people <3
What are you doing for your next birthday?
Going out on the piss most probs :D
Have you had sex with someone of the same sex?
Are all of your friends in relationships?
Umm... A fair few of them, yea.
If you had one wish what would it be?
Summer come back pl0x D;
Describe the person you have a crush on?
Lol crush, that's such a stupid word, but ok.. Tall, always wears a bandana, redish and greenish hair underneath XD brown eyes, lip, septum and ear pierced, tattoooos <3 .. Yeah bored of that now.
If you could, would you date the last person you texted?
Lol i'm married to her XD Bloodstock ftw <3
Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now?
Let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex?
No, it was from my tutor at college o.o
What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Probably sleeping XD
When was the last time something bothered you?
Umm... This morning.
Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?
Are promises important to you?
What’s on your mind right now?
Going to bed, drinking some coffee, going to Liverpool tomorrow, going out drinking tomorrow night.. and Rhys :3
Are you afraid of change?
Have you eaten any chocolate today?
Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
Will you be up before 7AM tomorrow?
Yep, 6am actually D;
Who was that last person you had a phone call longer than 7 minutes?
What did the last text you received say?
"Hey it's chris, just so you have my number too. I'll text you soon."
First person to text you today?
Umm... Dan i think.
What would you do if you found out one of your friends was going for the person that you like?
Eeeh... Let em try? XD
Do you think somebody likes the same person you do?
Actually yes, but i dont really know who she is, so i can't say for sure XD
Would you ever consider adopting?
How are things between you and the person you like/love?
Good :3 He makes me smile :p
Ever had someone dislike you that you barely knew?
Is there someone who you instantly smile when you receive a message from?
Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to?
Yes, she's my sisteeeeeeeer.
Do you believe that there's good in everybody?
Do you laugh easily?
Do you dye your hair?
When was the last time you were annoyed?
Do you find it hard to tell people how you really feel?
Have you ever told anyone you were okay when you really weren't?
Yes, who hasn't?
Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other?
Yeaaaah. As long as the boy is gay ;p naah im kidding, i've got loads of guy mates and its all sound (Y)
Does anyone completely understand you?
Not really. I don't completely understand me, so how does anyone else have a hope in hell?! XD
What are you doing tomorrow?
Going into Liverpool (Y) then going out drinkiiiiiiiin
Do you think you are a good person?
I try to be o.o
Are you a patient person?
What were you doing at 7 this morning?
Grumbling about getting up so early ;p
Are you a social person?
I can be. I can also be a moody sod XD
Honestly, who's numbers do you have memorized?
My home number, my number, my mum's work number, Amz's mobile number, my dad's mobile number, and Josh's old number because it was well easy to remember XD
How many people are you texting? Who are they?
Fun fun XD
Cuz i'm bored again XD
You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get?
I don't think i'd get one D; ...But if i had to, septum, because it's the only one that doesn't show if you take it out XD
What are you wearing?
My big woolly man jumper, because it's cold D;
Do you like seafood?
Do you even try hard at school?
I try sort of vaguely at college XD
Things you did yesterday?
Absolutely nothing :D Lazy day ;p
You are being extremely quiet, what does that mean?
What is the weather like today ?
Rainy in the morning... Then cold all day :(
When was the last time you were at a hospital?
i can't remember o.o
Can you play guitar hero?
Yes, but im not very good XD
What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Talked to Sirkuz and Rhys, and played on Mafia Wars on Facebook because i'm awesome ;p
What are you doing right now?
This, and msn and facebook.
Is this year the best year of your life?
Maybe :3 so far it's been pretty damn awesome.
Do you have any strange phobias?
Is it easier to forgive or to forget?
Forgive and forget.
When was the last time you yelled at someone?
Ummm... Today. Me and Gemma yelled at Dave because we didn't want him to sit on the back of the bus with us, because we're that mature XD we grabbed Ben and Sirkuz and made them spread out so he couldn't sit down 8)
Do you like funny people or serious people?
Both, depending on the circumstances.
Will you cry at your high school or college graduation ?
I may shed a little tear when i have to leave Yale. Probably a tear of joy though ;p
Are you named after one of your grand parents?
Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight?
No, he's out getting chonged with Aled *rolls eyes* :p
What are your plans for the weekend?
Maybe get drunk? XD
Are you sarcastic?
Very XD But only sometimes o.o
What are you doing tomorrow?
College, full day BLEEEEH D;
Two days from now at this time, where will you be:
In my room, possibly sleeping D;
Do you have a lot on your plate at the moment?
Not really. The usual stuff... College work, assessments. Nothing i can't handle ;p
Are you a forgiving person?
Yeah, i can hold a grudge like a motherfucker if i want to, but usually i'm all for forgive and forget, it's easier and makes life more fun in the long run XD
If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Maybe. I like it here at the moment, but change is good :3
Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with?
Did you do something bad today?
Nope, don't think so. Apart from abusing Dave on the bus ;p
Do you get stressed out easily?
Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn' t?
Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?
Yes, a few times O;
Something you wish you would have done this year but didn't?
Yeah a few things, but feh. There's always next year ;p
One wish, what is it?
For Summer to hurry the fuck up and come back XD
Do you sleep with door open or closed?
Did you go outside for more than 30 minutes today?
Yurp, sat outside from 12.30 till 4 XD
Ever kissed in the rain?
Do you have any career ideas yet?
Um... No XD well maybe... Illustrator or animator or something like that
How do you feel about changes?
Change is good (Y) ...But sometimes, i wish things could stay this way forever =/
Happy :3 TOO HAPPY :3 Can't stop smiling, literally!
It's been two years since anything like this has happened to me. I knew college was a good idea ;p
He's amazing <3
That's all i have to say, i'm sure you can work the rest out for yourselves :p
Nuff said really :3
I AM SKINTYPOO. Again. I have ZERO cash, jesus. It's crap being poor. Oh well, i've managed to dig out a few bottles of booze so as long as Sircus stops being a twat and answers his phone i'm going out for a good old fashioned drinking mish around Hawerden and Ewloe tonight (Y). I shall drink away my troubles, damnit!
College is killing me, as is only to be expected, but feh. It's just tiring. Veeeery long days. Wake up at 6am, get ready, get bus at 7.20am, get to college at 8am, arse around for an hour, classes classes blah blah blah, come home, get home at 5.30pm... Go to bed XD its very slow too. Most of my days are half days but i can't afford to get the bus home anymore so i have to wait for the free college bus at 4.30, which means hanging around in Wrexham for like 4 hours... which is great when it's sunny, but when it's cold and rainy and horrible... Not so great.
Psh, but im just being hormonal. But i really do want to go out and get drunk tonight so i will actually nut Sircus in the face if he blows me off for whatever reason he comes up with. And i'll just go out drinking with Dave instead. Bahahahahaaaa.
ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY TANK CAT INTO MORDOR!
Yes. I'm going to get ready now. Toodle-oo.
Nomnomnom. I am once again looking back at past.. Stuff. And wondering where the old me has gone? I've gotten so different recently, it's bizarre, and i can't tell if it's a good or a bad thing. Part of me is proud of myself for managing to change my ways and actually try and succeed at something. Part of me misses the old laid-back i-don't-give-a
In other news, le Swine Flu is clearing up now. I've just got a killer-cough and a bit of the sniffles, but apart from that i think i'm in the clear. Oink oink ;p
My test results have come back from the doctors. For the last week i've HAD Swine Flu XD XD
And i've been going into college thinking "I'll be ok, it's just a bad cold."
I've probably given it to half of Wrexham by now!
Now in a foul mood :( just want a hug and a brew and someone to make me feel a little less worthless than i currently do.
Isn't it weird how a few words in the right order can make you feel so utterly crap about yourself?
Even if it was jokingly, did he really need to aim for the nerve? Jesus... I've remembered why i used to hate most of the male population. Arses.
Do i come across as an insensitive person or something? People seem to think it's ok to try and make me feel as bad as possible about myself, because OBVIOUSLY it doesn't affect me at all. I'm just a statue to throw abuse at when you're feeling pissy. Grrrrr... Men.
I am in such a good mood today :3
I woke up at 6.30am and didn't even complain about it XD
My nan, auntie and uncle are staying with us, and i haven't seen them for like... a million years. So that's nice :D
Going out laterzzz with Amz, Gemma, Sircus and Hibbert, who Amz keeps calling Herbert and i keep calling Hibbery XD should be a giggle X3
Life is goooooooooood!
Beki: Have you ever thrown a bee at someone?
Beki: It's well funny, they never see it coming.
Dave: I can sort of see why *XD*
Beki: Throwing a pigeon at someone would be epic...
Dave: I'd like to hit someone with an owl.
I literally laughed for like half an hour, i just found the image of someone whacking someone else with an owl so hilarious XD and Dave chucked a conker at some random person for no reason, which had me in a laughing fit again for about an hour XD dear me. And Sircus kept trying to strangle me with his bandana o.O he was on one a bit XP
WELL looking forward to saturday, if Hibbert gets it together, it will be such a fun day X3 all getting wrecked together and going to watch Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs IN 3D!!! That should be amusing. And i've been invited to a 'Dom Party' on saturday night, so i may just go and take Amz and Sircus with me, cuz they'd well be up for it lmao XD
I love college <3
I have a bunch of friends who have recently all buggered off to uni as well, and as far as i can tell most of them are really enjoying themselves, so i'm glad about that X3 everyone is moving on up in life and it's all goooooood <3
FREE DAY TOMORROW WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WAAAAAA So tired D; dear me. 6am starts still not working for me XD Had a good day in college today though (Y) Twas only a half day, and we had Paddy in the morning which was mint cuz he's le awesome! XD Then Amz went home but i decided to hang around cuz Gemma, Dave, Sircus, Danny and a couple of other people were free the rest of the afternoon. I met some people who went to Bloodstock! Twas awesome XD And Sircus arsed around at the Peace thingy they were doing at the bandstand, sitting there with a little paper sign saying "free dreads for peace and stuff" O.o so we had a conversation with signs, was quite amusing.
Ah yus, the weekend was fun too! Went to Amz's to chill with her, Skye and Harri. We got a wee bit fucked and played Cursed Mountain, which was fun XD My eyes have never been so sore in my life though D; we were sat out in the tent for ages and i actually forgot we were in a tent, it was really trippy when Harri got up to go and get some fresh air and she unzipped the door. I went through a stage of total confusion because i thought she was unzipping Amz's bedroom wall XD Fail.
Anywhooooo... Not looking forward to tomorrow, full day blaaaaaah D; Buuut on the plus side we're going up to Glyndwr to play with glass and metal, which should be fun, if slightly dangerous XD and 'going to Glyndwr' means 'walk out of college, make sure Sheena isn't watching, hang around chatting for 15 minutes, pop into a shop for a Mars, arse around for another 15 minutes, THEN walk up to Glyndwr' XD fun times.
Nom nom nom. SOOOO glad it's the weekend XD I'm bloody exhausted, college has drained me this week, it's gonna take ages to get used to 6am starts D; had a proper nice lie in this morning though, managed to stay in bed till 10.30 XD WAAAAA. Going to get my hair done in a few hours, then i'm off to Amz's for a night of drinking and chilling and playing Cursed Mountain with her and Harri, and we're sleeping in a tent i think lmao XD Dear me. Doing some work for Paddy now, trying to design a new Mr. Man lmao XD fun times. I've been playing Fable II obsessively again recently, because my brother finally bought it for me again after he trashed it ¬___¬ ...And i've only just noticed. The tunnel in Reaver's mansion is called Reaver's Rear Passage. LOL. That has to be deliberate, right? XD and i've lost my wife somewhere D; i set our marital home as Fairfax Castle and she's disappeared, and apparently i have a family emergency but I CAN'T FIND THE BINT D:
Fable rant over. MRRRRRRRRRRRrr