[blackenedrose*]'s diary

570982  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-05-07
Written: (5569 days ago)

to all my lovely friends, relations and everyone else

i have important exams so i'm not going to be on here until the end og July, so don't worry im not just leaving u all

for the translating wiki, sorry if you choose me i wont be here to do it, but save the work for me!

the poetry, i will be back to take a title! and u can all read my amazing poems....no actaully they are terrible!

when i get back my house will be re-done + under construction

from urs blackened
p.s don't think about me + i will be back!

548082  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-04-11
Written: (5595 days ago)

i've just found that my name means --> enchantingly beautiful

no kidding!...i was like wow!....cuz im far from that lol

526163  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-03-18
Written: (5619 days ago)

i don't know what to do...how cums all the guys i do like just don't like me in that way...*bangs head*

ever heard of the saying lucky in cards unlucky in love?....maybe its true..im not a superstitious person and i dont believe in fate but maybe there is no1 that is made for me....

-sigh-....i don't know if the guy likes me in anyway..my friend picked it up but hey, i only want to know so i can stop my feelings from getting too far out there...waiting for that guy to say that i like u back but i know its not gonna happen

516090  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-03-08
Written: (5630 days ago)


Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead


I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now

I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay

499525  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-02-18
Written: (5647 days ago)

讲你真相那里是没有真相被告诉但除了那个被弥补并且那 个被弥补是事际上谎言哪个手段那里是没有真相可得到到处在整体 宇宙。

普遍语言应该是数学和物理但我认为宇宙的真实的语言根 据规则并且我们了解的方式他们作为例如我们能弯曲光由投入棱镜 入自然光一条直接射线从太阳并且它分裂成这条彩虹的颜色 , Einstein 有我发现高度感兴趣的一种特殊理论并且深深地周道是 如果我们能弯曲光然后我们事际上弯曲时间规则但然后什么是这是 测量的形式我们我们自己创造的时间并且如果的确是生活在其它行 星他们讲话英语或比人种的这个版本是在领悟之外使我们辩解作为 一种讲能语言和他们有世界和平或他们是更多触发器愉快的一种语 言。但我们能再那里是唯一的智能生活在是能做未来为我们自己的 整体宇宙并且当我们非常非常要某事我们做任何东西得到它只要我 们得到什么我们要。认为多少罪行那里是在世界对现在并且多少个 人被推出他们的家并且国家由于二个人战斗在土地片断象Adolf  Hitler 和Stalin 战斗结束Stalingrad 和许多俄国战士由Stalin 杀害因为如果他们跑回到获取盖子他的陆军中尉射击他们击倒因为 他认为这显示A 从弱点在他的国家和第二次世界大战的他们的强力 士气并且如果他们设法不得到射击由俄国官员然后他们由德国 Nazis 屠杀。但那里你可能现在再如果我们没有战斗并且就请让他 们进来和接管我们的家园我们能然后谈一种异常语言并且然后不了 解什么我正在谈论文字这个片断道德是那

“我们因为整个种族是嫉妒什么我们倾斜得到和什么我们倾 斜达到和如果这个价格是权利我们能有机会的窃取或非法地获取从 法律或普遍规则的手”

475829  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-01-19
Written: (5678 days ago)

Its history, stereotypes, religious connections, etc.

Quotations by Goths:
"...being Goth, for me, is seeing beauty, and its coming destruction, at the same time. For me...It's the last dance as the walls are crumbling around you..." Beatgrrl

"Goth is the ability to find the art where art seems to be lacking; to find the light in the darkness and embrace it for all its worth..." Jennifer Mason

reporters mentioned that the alleged perpetrators followed the Goth culture. A few reporters have incorrectly associated Goth with Satanism, violence, white supremacy and intolerance. The implication was that the Goth culture had been the cause of the alleged perpetrators' obsession with revenge, and thus is at least partly responsible for the homicides. Some quotations:

"...morose subculture of Gothic fantasy." 
"They're basically outcasts, Gothic people, They're into anarchy. They're white supremacists and they're into Nostradamus stuff and Doomsday." 
"Black trench coats are a consistent theme in the Gothic subculture that has attracted many teenagers to the poetry, music and costumes of a scene that ranges from benign fantasy to violent reality." 
"Inspired by fantasy games such as Dungeons and Dragons, Gothic has become a fascination of many American high schoolers, some of whom simply dress and paint their fingernails black while others immerse themselves in a pseudo medieval world of dark images." 
"Tuesday was Hitler's birthday, an occasion for demonstrations, mock funerals and other macabre commemorations among both neo-Nazis and parts of the Gothic scene."

The perpetrators were apparently not Goths; rather, they had incorporated some Goth symbolism into their group's unique image. Similarly, they held hands in school; not because they were bisexual or homosexual, but in order to shock other students. Their goal was to disturb their fellow students and distance themselves from the school jocks who ridiculed and harassed them.

What is the Goth culture?
It is basically indefinable, because "Goth" means different things to each follower. Many adopt unusual fashions in order to separate themselves from other youth. Gordon A. Crews, associate dean of the School of Justice Studies at Roger Williams University in Bristol, CT is an investigator of what he calls the "occult" which-- in his opinion -- includes the Goth culture. He said: "It is up to the individual to define what Goth is for themselves ... The mentality is, 'I want to be left alone but I want to be seen. I want to see the shock on other peoples' faces."

Some factors that are commonly observed are:

Its unique music, art and literature.
The use of extreme black clothing, light colored makeup, unusual hair styles, body piercing, bondage items, etc. 
A fascination with medieval, Victorian and Edwardian history.
Wearing of symbols such as a Christian cross; an Egyptian ankh or "Eye of Ra," or "Eye of Horus;" a Wiccan pentacle, a Satanic inverted pentacle. etc.
Goths tend to be non-violent, pacifistic, passive, and tolerant. Many in the media have mistakenly associated Goth with extreme violence and hatred of minorities, white supremacy, etc.
Many Goths write about being depressed. Followers seem sullen and withdrawn, when in public. They are often much more "happy and carefree in the company of Other Goths." Examples of depression are: "Tigriss," commenting on her own life, writes: "So my gothic persona fit me quite well. My black clothing and dark music aptly reflected my own depression, pain, and anger which was what I made most of my life about. Most of my goth friends had dysfunctional families and troubled childhoods as mine. We could identify with each other through our dark make-up and painful pasts." 
Researcher Jasin Tamlin comments: "If you take a look at the 640 sites that are listed on the Gothic Web Ring, you will find many of them filled with desperation, depression, anger, hatred, despair and angst." 

"A lot of people turn to the Gothic subculture after having a hard time in school, feeling alienated, and looking for a way to express themselves that mirrors those feelings. Others find the scene through literature, still others want to be shocking, and some people just find black clothing slimming."
Goth music often deals with thought-provoking topics, concentrating on societal evils, like racism, war, hatred of groups, etc. They tend to concentrate on the very "nasty, unhappy" topics that "North American culture" wants to "ignore and forget."
A fascination with death. They try "to find a different way of thinking about life, like trying to find beauty in life, pain and death. It's all a quest for immortality." 
Some Goths enjoy playing role playing games. However, RPGs are not an integral component of Goth culture. It is just that those intellectual and creative challenges that draw them to the Goth scene make them more likely to enjoy RPGs as well.
Other interests: writings by authors like Dante, Byron, Tolstoy; German Expressionist silent films; writing music; painting, etc.

History and background:
The words Goth and Gothic have had many, largely unrelated meanings: the name of the Germanic Visigoth tribes that overthrew the Roman Empire. From this source arose the concept of a Goth as an uncivilized person, a barbarian.
a style of architecture in Western Europe which was popular from the 12th to the 16th century.
a style of horror/mystery literature that is dark, eerie and gloomy.

Goth, as a modern movement, started as one component of the punk rock scene. As the latter faded, Goth survived by creating its own subculture.
The first use of the term Goth in its present meaning was on a British Broadcasting Commission (BBC) TV program. Anthony H. Wilson, manager of Joy Division described the band as Gothic compared with the pop mainstream. The name stuck.
Their use of black clothing was originally "something of a backlash to the colorful disco music of the seventies." It also stuck.
The movement first became established in the Batcave, a nightclub in London, England, in the early 1980's.
Spreading to the U.S., it first became popular in California.
Goth is featured in The Crow horror movies (1994, 1996). Other Gothic movies are the original Nosferatu, the color remake Nosferatu the Vampyre, and the Cabinet of Doctor Caligari.
Popular music bands are the Bauhaus, Siouxsie and the Banshees, the Sisters of Mercy, Dead Can Dance, and many others.

Many Goths reflect popular culture and are probably nominal or devout Christians. Atheism, Agnosticism, the New Age, Gnosticism, Shamanism, Wicca, other Neopagan traditions, and other minority faith groups are represented more frequently than in the general population.

Goths often wear Christian crosses or Christian crucifixes, which many regard as a pre-Christian religious symbol. Others wear New Age/ancient Egyptian Ankh symbols. Some do this as expression of their religious beliefs, some for satire, and others because they like their appearance.

Religion is frequently discussed on the Goth newsgroups. Many songs, band names and album titles have Christian themes.

The public incorrectly commonly associates Goths with Marilyn Manson. "Manson publicly presents himself as a follower of the Church of Satan... He was ordained a priest in the Church of Satan by the [Late] founder, Anton LaVey. Many fans refer to him as the Rev. Marilyn Manson." (Actually, Manson is not a follower of that Church; he was simply appointed as a Reverend within the Church by its founder, Anton LaVey.) From this Satanic connection, the perception has grown that Goths are frequently linked to Satanism. There are a few Satanists who are also Goths, but they are rare.

People have accused or described Goths as being:

Unusually bigoted,
Involved in illegal drugs,
Vampires or believe themselves to be vampires,
Musicians, painters, and other artists,
Computer programmers (although there seem to be a lot of them)
Wearers of black (some wear white and gunmetal),
Dyers of their hair,
Users of white makeup.

Some of the above probably apply to some Goths, but definitely not to all.

472016  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-01-15
Written: (5681 days ago)

YAY!, ive just found out that im in the town herald issue 9!!click on the link below to read my poem it it number 15!


461164  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-01-01
Written: (5695 days ago)

Bring It On
Artist: Lyrics
Song: I'm Sexy, I'm Cute Lyrics

I'm sexy, I'm cute! I'm popular to boot!
I'm bitchin', great hair! The boys all love to stare!
I'm wanted, I'm hot! I'm everything your not!
I'm pretty, I'm cool! I dominate this school!

Who am I? Just guess! Guys wanna touch my chest!
I'm rockin'! I smile! And many think I'm vile.
I'm flyin', I jump! You can look but don't you hump! Whoo!
I'm major, I roar! I swear I'm not a whore!

We cheer and we lead! We act like we're on speed!
Don't hate ate us cause we're beautiful well we don't like u either!
We're cheerleaders! We are cheerleaders! ROLL CALL!

Call me Big Red!
I'm Wh Wh Whitney
C C C Courtney! Roar!
Dude, it's Darcy!
I'm Big Bad Carver! Yeah!
Just call me Kasey! O!

I sizzle, I scourch! But now I pass the tourch!
The ballots, are in! And one girl had to win!
She's perky, she's fun! And now she's number 1!
K kick it Torrance! T T T Torrance!

*Music introducing Torrance*

I'm strong and I'm loud! I'm gonna make u proud!
I'm T T Torrance! Your captain Torrance!
Let's, go, Toros! We are the Toros! The mighty might Toros!
We're so terrific! WE MUST BE TOROS!

461031  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-01-01
Written: (5695 days ago)

All the same take me away, we're dead to the world.

The child gave thought to the poet's words, gave comfort to the
(Heartfelt, lovelorn)
Remaining, yet still uninvited.
Those words scented my soul.
(lonely soul, Ocean soul)

It's not the monsters under your bed, it is the Man next door.
That makes you fear, makes you cry, makes you cry for the child.

All the wars are fought among those lonely men.
Unarmed, unscarred.

I don't want to die a scarless man.
A lonely soul (tell me now what to do).
I studied silence to learn the music.
I joined the sinful to regain innocence.

Heaven queen, cover me. In all that blue.
Little boy such precious joy, is dead to the world
Heaven queen, carry me. Away from all pain.
All the same take me away. We're dead to the world

Deep, silent and constant, yet always changing
-my favorite view of this world.
As he died, he will return to die in me again.
Weaving the cloth, giving birth to Century child
Who gave his life not for the world but for me.
Innocence reborn once more.

Heaven queen, carry me. Away from all pain.
All the same take me away. We're dead to the world
Heaven queen, cover me. In all that blue.
Little boy such precious joy, is dead to the world

453539  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-12-23
Written: (5704 days ago)

The Sands of Christmas

I had no Christmas spirit when I breathed a weary sigh,
and looked across the table where the bills were piled too high.
The laundry wasn't finished and the car I had to fix,
My stocks were down another point, the Dolphins lost by six.

And so with only minutes till my son got home from school
I gave up on the drudgery and grabbed a wooden stool.
The burdens that I carried were about all I could take,
and so I flipped the TV on to catch a little break.

I came upon a desert scene in shades of tan and rust,
No snowflakes hung upon the wind, just clouds of swirling dust.
And where the reindeer should have stood before a laden sleigh,
eight hummers ran a column right behind an M1A.

A group of boys walked past the tank, not one was past his teens,
Their eyes were hard as polished flint, their faces drawn and lean.
They walked the street in armor with their rifles shouldered tight,
their dearest wish for Christmas, just to have a silent night.

Other soldiers gathered, hunkered down against the wind,
To share a scrap of mail and dreams of going home again.
There wasn't much at all to put their lonely hearts at ease,
They had no Christmas turkey, just a pack of MREs.

They didn't have a garland or a stocking I could see,
They didn't need an ornament-- they lacked a Christmas Tree.
They didn’t have a present even though it was tradition,
the only boxes I could see were labled "ammunition."

I felt a little tug and found my son now by my side,
He asked me what it was I feared, and why it was I cried.
I swept him up into my arms and held him oh so near
and kissed him on the forehead as I whispered in his ear.

There’s nothing wrong my little son, for safe we sleep tonight,
our heroes stand on foreign land to give us all the right,
to worry on the things in life that mean nothing at all,
instead of wondering if we will be the next to fall.

He looked at me as children do and said its always right,
to thank the ones who help us and perhaps that we should write.
And so we pushed aside the bills and sat to draft a note,
to thank the many far from home, and this is what we wrote:

God Bless You all and keep you safe, and speed your way back home.
Remember that we love you so, and that you’re not alone.
The gift you give you share with all, a present every day,
You give the gift of liberty and that we can’t repay.

© Dec. 2003 -Michael Marks
Used with permission.

"...this is an open and grateful tribute to the men and women
who serve every day to keep our nation safe."
444401  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-12-14
Written: (5713 days ago)

Sometimes the Lord rides out the storm with us and other times He calms the restless sea around us. Most of all, He calms the storm inside us in our deepest inner soul.

Lloyd John Ogilvie

"Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against
You." --Psalms 119:11

440599  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-12-10
Written: (5717 days ago)

When you're 16 going on 17 waiting for life to start
somebody kind who touches your mind will suddenly touch your heart
When this happens, after it happens, nothing is quite the same
Somehow you know u'll jump up and go if only he calls your name
Gone are the old ideas of life, the old ideas grow dim
Lo and behold your someones wife
And you belong to him!
You may think this kind of adventure may never come to you
Darling 16 going on 17 wait a year or two

Sing it to the tune of Im 16 going on 17, it is honestly from the musical!

431887  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-12-02
Written: (5726 days ago)

my birthday is well..tomorrow but its like what the point??....sigh illegally 16 yeah shud be good...but i think ive reached a point in life where im not bothered no more..just want to sleep

 The logged in version 

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