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forbidden sacrafice (forgoten dreams means an unhappy life)

Member #124277 created: 2005-03-19 16:29:17Simple URL:   

Name: Ben


i looked stoned......maybe it had to deal with i hadn't slept in 32-34 hours at that point

Drawing missing.

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Town DrunkStreet childAdventurer

first note because kaylin says this i seem so sad on here im not a very sad person kaylin you know that but my poems are something that mean alot to me they are like my release of anger of pain im not really all that sad or depressed i have never concidered doing any of the things in my poems but yes i have thought about them in some shape way or form at one time or another havent we all??? happy now kaylin thats just for you because you said it seemed all sad

About myself: i am very odd. I have many opinions and i love to share them. If you disagree with anything i have to say id rather have you say it to my face then behind my back. I am athiest so i believe that there is no god heaven or hell i believe in the buhdists way of reincarnation that we become a higher person untill we become a free spirit. I believe in respecting those who do not believe what i do as well as i believe in equal rights for everyone men, women, homosexuals, transgenders, and just eveyrone. I meditate as often as possible for me it is a relm of peace to forget the pain. I believe in some of the unoterrian principles such as everything we do effects someone else like if i littered people have to go clean it up it effects there life and so on.
I dont believe in the slaughtery of animals(no i am not vegitarian) i just believe that animals shouldnt be cut up and used as experiments like in biology. I wish there was a way for peace for everyone without all the war and casualties. I wish that people would take more respect in what people believe because people do not respect me the way i respect them and that i believe is not the way it should be. I believe in a lot and if i can think of anything else well ill put it up i love to learn new things to add to my beliefs.

POEMS/PICTURES-comments on them are needed so feel free to tell me

**NEW Wrote it for english 4/14/2005

Discrimination kills

Silent words spoken very clear.
I remember this day and every fallen tear.
This day I speak in silent words telling the story
of what discrimination can do.
It sat him on the tracks waiting for the train.
He spoke that day in silent words.
When somebody told him to die everyday
it had drove him insane.
Discrimination hurt,
discrimination paid,
it made its goal but is serving its time.
It took a tole and made someone die.
He was nothing more or nothing less
then just a person like you and me.
The one fact that made him different was that he was gay.
He didn’t deserve to die and didn’t die that day.
I remember him making his words in silent whispers
telling me the story of his pain.
It changed me so and made me think
never to hate and never to misplace.
Silent words speak out loud
making our actions the best anyone could
we stand in the shoes of someone’s soul
only to remember its one days tole.
The day of silence is meant to remember
of those who sat in silence and took the discrimination.
I stood in silence in memory
only standing in his shoes I see now
what he went through.
A lot of pain and a lot of suffer I tell you now
never hurt and never say in any day
“you should die and kill yourself.”
It takes a tole
and could break a heart
of an innocent person.
That is no different then you and I.
Always remember and stand in peace
speaking silent making your actions speak.
Remember discrimination is bad and love is good
You can save a life only if u knew.
It means a lot to be loved
take it from someone who knows it personally
Love saved me from eternal pain it saved my life
and made me lose my pain.

untitled....i wrote it lastnight march 23, 2005-i put this up cuz rachel likes it so much

I lay to rest fallen to pieces. Torn apart forgeting the time, the time i cry and say goodbye. I love her, so why do i decieve her. I cut myself oh so deep wanting to fall asleep you never forget and always dream of the time that you lied. Breaking a promise is causeing my pain. i fall asleep only to think i lay to rest falling to pieces

tis rachel....shes the coolest of friends

Untitled....Im still workin on it actually

i just wanna cut the skin oh so deep, let the blood drip and then fall asleep. See what she did she made me cry so i cut my throat and then i died. Someone pulled me back from my hell......

its awtry the coolest teacher ever

What is lost

Tears are shed blood is lost everythings gone except these horrible thoughts. Everythings dim and growing darker. My light has been lost. My mind is in pain and is a mess of confusion. Just because of one person lost. Nobody understand the pain of mine. Nobody understands my life and its lies. Nobody knows the scars of mine. They are deep inside hidden not lost in this mind of mine.

my car....1997 mitsubishi eclipse

The back stabber life

Life’s a bitch it stabs you in the back so many times you cant remember the first, but you always manage to pull it out and recover until the next time. Then comes the time when you get stabbed but you cant get the knife out and it stay in and slowly kills away at you till one day someone pushes it in and it hits your heart is dead just sitting there nothing again over and over. You manage to live but wish the fact you died that day because the pain never disappears.

the backstabber life pt 2

Life stabs you in the back so many times... or is it the people who do? Maybe its both because people control your life. People decide what you see on to what you do. People besides you control your life don’t you see it you may not realize it but they do. What you watch on tv is made so you can follow trends of who or what it is on tv.

Ashely.....she stole my phone

the dream

One day Is what I see over and over. I walked into the room to find it painted in blood. As I stood in disbelief my eyes scanned the room to find her sitting in the corner hunched over. I fell to my knees next noticing the cuts on her wrists, the knife laying next to her hand. Blood is just spilling all over flowing from beneath her. I started to cry I don’t even know... My only reaction was to grab that knife and think the only way to be. I slit my throat and my last thought was today I die nobody cry I am where I want to be. The last thing I remember is falling right next to her dying to be with her. When I woke up my only thought was is this really my fate to be. Once again I saw me in a place I never seen; once again before fate laid it path exactly how it happened in true life. A suicide is really the way it’ll be. Nobody cry the day I die it is really just where I wanna be.

my demise

People are the source of my demise. People hut me, people hate me, people loved me. I still live but the death of one person ended my life as I know it. The love is what killed me. I was once asked if I was a heart breaker and I thought to myself I am not a heart breaker but im on who’s heart gets broken. My hopes of love are fading just as much as my hopes on life. I don’t even know how Im still alive as it is. Today is a truly sad day I may still be breathing but today is the day my heart stopped beating. Today is the day I died.


Im dazed, confused, and lost. My mind is in a mess of thoughts. The child isn’t mine but I wish it was. Maybe because im tired of all this crap of looking for someone when there’s nobody who likes me the way I want them to. I’m happy im ugly it makes it all the better that nobody will like me for the looks only the person I will be. Only If you could understand what’s in my mind. I just don’t wanna be lost!

loves choice

Love is only in the eye of the beholder. Somewhere in life everyone experiences it whether they know it or not it’s their choice. Nobody really does find the perfect person because in reality it does not exist. Perfect in my opinion is not something anyone or anything is because everything has its flaws. If I ever told anyone something to remember it would be to embrace what you have because if you’re to busy looking you’ll never have the time to enjoy what’s there, you’ll never see it until it’s gone. Love is a strong word so if you really love someone let them know because it’s better to get turned down then to have secrets hidden when there still maybe a chance. You only regret what you don’t do so take a chance it may be worth it; it may not you’ll never know unless you’ve tried.

Age: 20Year of birth: 1989Month of birth: 8Day of birth: 8

Gender: male

Fantasy race personality: Orc
Elftownworldmap 46°56.544'N 92°40.086'W

Place of living: USA-Wisconsin

Town: superior

Known languages

Elfwood artist: No

Elfwood writer: No

Elftown crew wannabe: No

Favorite drawing objects

Computer interests
action gamesartBasic
information seekingmusicprogramming
strategy gamesuse communitiesweb design

heavy metalprogressive metalpunk

Other interests
beercard gamescars
cookingcrime storiesdrinks

Civil status: single

Sexual preference: opposite sex

Body shape: normal

Height: 178

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