[Sobori]'s diary

920101  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-03-15
Written: (4832 days ago)

Paradise kiss : "But I think the death take little pieces of your heart and leave some empty holes"

You are so right sis , oh so right =3

914378  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-02-26
Written: (4850 days ago)

Okey so I`m entering some internet contest in which I have to make my own brand and design a piece of clothing.
I`m designing a dress and my brand is called : *padaaam an important tune rings * Strawberry Fantasy !
Yeah its a stupid name , but I couldn`t think of anything else , the dress is cute though . If I could actually make it I totally would wear it .
But unfortunatly I can`t sew to save my life , so I`m only designing it.

BTW....Is designing a correct way of formulating that word? 0.o

Anyway , I`ll put some pictures when I`m done.

lookie this is the dress ^^

912389  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-02-20
Written: (4855 days ago)

I finished my comic , the only thing I have to do now is printing the whole thing and actually make a book out of it.
Its gonna be hard because I have to print about 300 pieces and I have so little time.

The funeral was also today , It was beautiful but I cried the whole time , even when carrying the chest.
It was so embarassing , but Josry and Grytsje were there for me , although I should be the one that`d be there for Grytsje...

910894  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-02-16
Written: (4859 days ago)

My grandfather died today at 11 A.M . He had been in the hospital for a long time now and we all knew that he was going to die soon. Yesterday I saw him for the very last time and give him a kiss on his forehead , he was drugged and asleep and really didn`t look like my granddaddy anymore.
I love him so much and we saw eachother so often so its really hard to have lost him , I have never ever experienced death from someone close to me..I can`t really talk about it now , I`ll do a more detailed report later.
Wednesday or tuesday will be the day of his burial , the same day in which I have to present my most importand project but I`ll think about that later...first I have to finish that project..which will be hard , I don`t really have my mind into it now..

909476  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-02-13
Written: (4862 days ago)

wow...tomorrow its valentines day.
You can`t really avoid it can you , with all the advertisement and all the kids nagging about it.
I don`t really need Valentines day , I used to love it , but its just getting too much about moneymaking for me -.-
I show Josry that I love him everyday , for as much as I can , I don`t need valentine`s day to show my feelings.
But I guess I can buy him something little , because its gonna be our anniversary soon . And because I like giving him presents , that , and because I think he`s gonna do something for valentine for the first time since I know him. I might be wrong , so I`m not really counting on it :P
Btw , I have finished two pages of my comic , they look SOO cool! I keep looking at it and then I think ...did I draw this? Really??!
I mean , I`ve never made a comic before, its looking kind of neat ^^
I`m still behind scedule though..

*Edit * He took me to a perfect little italian restaurant ^^ With great food!

905107  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-01-31
Written: (4875 days ago)

Yay finally got a picture from my bf and me~!
One small prob , he`s not photogenic at all (that explains why he hates to be photographed XD)
well anyway , heres the link of the best pic if you are interested (don`t worry , theres no grossness XD)
This only worked because he didn`t have the time to pose and do his stupid picture face I guess -.-


903446  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-01-26
Written: (4880 days ago)

[I got this from E.T once but I don`t know where anymore so I`ll just put it in my diary ^^]

A Tribute to Nice Guys
By Anonymous

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we're just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.

The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he's too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved indication is coming.

A tribute to nice girls:

See also: A tribute to nice guys

This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first bimbo in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

902464  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-01-24
Written: (4882 days ago)
Next in thread: 903338

For all the people that only say "Hi" as a message , this is for you ,.

Oh so you saw my picture and you thought , hey its a BLOND girl and so I`ll go and say "Hi" to her but won`t take the time and effort to read her description that says she doesn`t like uninspired people that message her for her looks and only say hi because they are too LAZY.
Read my description you wanker , and don`t message me because i`m blond.
If you did do that , and you just didn`t get it , than here are my sincere apologies.

902444  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-01-24
Written: (4882 days ago)

I thought this was interesting so I put it in my house and diary , I wonder what kind of questions I`ll get ^^
[You may ask me four questions.
Any four, no matter how private or how random. I have to answer them honestly, And I have to answer them ALL! In turn you post this message in your own journal, wiki, or profile and you have to answer the questions that are asked of you

Dumb girls need air 
Naughty girls need underwear
Nice girls arent mean
Funny girls make a scene
Perfect girls have all the class
Mean girls will kick your ass
Smart girls will excell
Gossip girls will tell
Popular girls get all the boys
Little girls play with toys
Normal girls are nothing new
So which one applies to you?

900723  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-01-20
Written: (4886 days ago)

*packs up breath*
I have the Legend of Zelda : Twilight Princess.
Bad timing though , I have tentams next week...so I won`t get to play as much as I`d liked...and I have way too much stuff for school to do.
YAaaaaaaaay! =D

898764  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-01-15
Written: (4892 days ago)

Okey so saturday , during course , there was someone from tv with a HUGE camera and she filmed us while we were drawing or eveluating our work.
And she interviewed me , so I`m gonna be on tv.
NO , its NOT fun , and I am NOT happy .
Why? Well maybe its just me but I don`t want my ugly drawings on tv yet , I hope I get cut out :P
Luckily for me , its just Omrop Fryslan and nobody watches that exept for bored , sick or old people.
No -one will notice ^^
except for my grandmother , and offcourse , she`ll tell it to everyone she meets -.-
Fuck <img:stuff/Br23-gif.gif>
Oh and I had my dad`s trousers on that day , why? Because my own was in the laundry (yes ,I have only one pant at the moment , need to go shopping soon)
So I think I looked like a sandbag XDXD
Oh well , it`ll work out somehow ^^

And by the way! I`ve downloaded a free online massive multiplayer game resently and I`m sooo totally addicted to it <img:44166_1164145147.gif> Its so much fun! honestly ^^
If you want to know the site , I`ll give it to you ^^

895889  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-01-07
Written: (4899 days ago)

This is so interesting , I DEMAND you to read it.
I totally stole this from my sis`s house , and she stole it from someone else, and I`m pretty sure he also stole it.
So if you think its interesting , please do steal this ;P

My Dear Children (and believe me, that's all of you),

I consider myself a pretty patient guy. I mean, look at the Grand Canyon. It took millions of years to get it right. And about evolution? Boy, nothing is slower than designing that whole Darwinian thing to take place, cell by cell, and gene by gene.

I've been patient through your fashions, civilizations, wars and schemes, and the countless ways you take Me for granted until you get yourselves into big trouble again and again.

I want to let you know about some of the things that are starting to tick me off.

First of all, your religious rivalries are driving Me up a wall. Enough already! Let's get one thing straight.

These are YOUR religions, not Mine.

I'm the whole enchilada; I'm beyond them all. Every one of your religions claims there is only one of Me (which by the way, is absolutely true). But in the very next breath, each religion claims it's My fa vorite one. And each claims its bible was written personally by Me, and that all the other bible's are man-made. Oh, Me. How do I even begin to put a stop to such complicated nonsense?

Okay, listen up now. I'm your Father AND Mother, and I don't play favorites among My children. Also, I hate to break it to you, but I don't write. My longhand is awful, and I've always been more of a "doer" anyway.

So ALL of your books, including those bible's, were written by men and women. They were inspired, remarkable people, but they also made mistakes here and there. I made sure of that, so that you would never trust a written word more than your own living heart.

You see, one human being to me -- even a bum on the street -- is worth more than all the Holy Books in the world. That's just the kind of guy I am.

My Spirit is not a historical thing, it's alive right here, right now, as fresh as your next breath. Holy books and religious rites are sacred and powerful, but not more so than the least of you.

They were only meant to steer you in the right direction, not to keep you arguing with each other, and certainly not to keep you from trusting your own personal connection with Me. Which brings Me to My next point about your nonsense.

You act like I need you and your religions to stick up for Me or "win souls" for My sake. Please, don't do Me any favors. I can stand quite well on my own, thank you. I don't need you to defend Me, and I don't need constant credit.

I just want you to be good to each other.

And another thing: I don't get all worked up over money or politics, so stop dragging My name into your dramas.

For example, I swear to Me that I never threatened Oral Roberts. I never rode in any of Rajneesh's Rolls Royces. I never told Pat Robertson to run for president, and I've never EVER had a conversation with Jim Baker, Jerry Falwell, or Jimmy Sw aggart! Of course, come Judgement Day, I certainly intend to...

The thing is, I want you to stop thinking of religion as some sort of loyalty pledge to Me. The true purpose of your religions is so that YOU can become more aware of ME, not the other way around.

Believe Me, I know you already. I know what's in each of your hearts, and I love you with no strings attached.

Lighten up and enjoy Me. That's what religion is best for. What you seem to forget is how mysterious I am.

You look at the petty differences in your Scriptures and say, "Well, if THIS is the truth, then THAT can't be!" But instead of trying to figure out My Paradoxes and Unfathomable Nature--which by the way, you NEVER will--why not open your hearts to the simple common threads in all religions.

You know what I'm talking about: Love and respect everyone. Be kind, even when life is scary or confusing, take courage and be of good cheer, for I am always with you. Learn how to be quiet, so you can hear My still, small voice (I don't like to shout).

Leave the world a better place by living your life with dignity and gracefulness, for you are My Own Child.

Hold back nothing from life, for the parts of you that can die surely will, and the parts that can't, won't. So don't worry, be happy (I stole that last line from Bobby McFerrin, but who do you think gave it to him in the first place?)

Simple stuff. Why do you keep making it so complicated?

It's like you're always looking for an excuse to be upset. And I'm very tired of being your main excuse. Do you think I care whether you call me Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, Wakantonka, Brahma, Father, Mother or even the Void of Nirvana?

Do you think I care which of My special children you feel closest to -- Jesus, Mary, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed or any of the others?

You can call Me and My Special Ones any name you choose, if only yo u would go about My business of loving one another as I love you. How can you keep neglecting something so simple? I'm not telling you to abandon your religions. Enjoy your religions, honor them, learn from them, just as you should enjoy, honor, and learn from your parents. But do you walk around telling everyone that your parents are better than theirs?

Your religion, like your parents, may always have the most special place in your heart; I don't mind that at all. And I don't want you to combine all the Great Traditions in One Big Mess.

Each religion is unique for a reason. Each has a unique style so that people can find the best path for themselves. But My Special Children -- the ones that your religions revolve around -- all live in the same place (My heart) and they get along perfectly, I assure you.

The clergy must stop creating a myth of sibling rivalry where there is none. My blessed children of Earth, the world has grown too small for y our pervasive religious bigotries and confusion. The whole planet is connected by air travel, satellite dishes, telephones, fax machines, rock concerts, diseases, and mutual needs and concerns.

Get with the program!

If you really want to help then commit yourselves to figuring out how to feed your hungry, clothe your naked, protect your abused, and shelter your poor. And just as importantly, make your own everyday life a shining example of kindness and good humor.

I've given you all the resources you need, if only you abandon your fear of each other and begin living, loving, and laughing together. Finally, My Children everywhere, when you think of the life of Jesus and the fearlessness with which He chose to live and die. As I love Him, so do I love each one of you.

I'm not really ticked off, I just wanted to grab your attention because I hate to see you suffer.

But I gave you free will.

I just want you to be happy. Always. Trust in Me.

Your One and Only,


Author unknown

890146  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-12-22
Written: (4915 days ago)

Soms vraag ik me af .
Hoe het zou zijn
Als niemand van deze wereld
ook maar iets om mij zou geven.
Zou dat feit dan leefbaar zijn?
Hoe zou het zijn
Als niemand me nog vast zou houden,
of enige steun zou geven,
wanneer ik die het meest nodig heb.
Zou ik dat feit kunnen dragen/
Hoe zou het zijn
Om compleet alleen te staan ,
met niemand die nog naar je kijkt.
Is dat feit niet te hard voor woorden?

Na zulke momenten ben ik altijd blij,
dat er van mij gehouden wordt.

888995  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-12-19
Written: (4918 days ago)
888601  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-12-18
Written: (4919 days ago)

Common things foreigners should know about the Netherlands.

1. Not everybody is on drugs.
2. Our prime minister really does look like harry potter ,just less cool.
3. Amsterdam is not the only , and not even close to being the most wanted place to be.
4. No one wears wooden shoes anymore except for some farmers ,but some people have them just for fun.
5 . Our cows are black and white :P
6. No , tulips don`t grow all over the place in Holland ,infact we stole them from the Turkish people hundreds of years ago so its not even dutch XD
7. Not all girls are cute or pretty in holland , we do have a lot though :P
8. Not every dutch person likes cheese
9. I think we are the only country that has 'drop' for sale , most foreigners don`t like the taste.
10. Dutch persons are quite direct , Fries people are even more direct , most of times even blunt.
11. Gay marriage is legal here
12. Prostitution is also legal , but there aren`t more hookers than in any other country.Statistically seen. ^^
13. Soft Drugs are also legal , but not everyone is on drugs and you are allowed to have 5 plants of weed per person , if you disobey that rule , you get arrested :P
14 . Dutch people are hypocrite , but Americans are still worse.
15.We are the country that lets people in to shelter here because theyre home situation is unbearable , to kick them out a few years later , Then suddenly our country is too small for all those people :S (told ya we are hypocrite:P)
16. Dutch people don`t know of patriotism.
17. Most dutch people are quite honest , because they are so direct .

881971  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-12-02
Written: (4935 days ago)

I hate McDonalds so yeah , I`m boycotting it.
And until this very moment , I was boycotting by myself BUT I`ve gained a new member!
Unfortunatly its just Yeb that prefers Subway over the Mac.
Oh Buggors <img:img/mood/44166_1164145262.gif>

And I wished that EGL clothes weren`t that bloody expensive . If they weren`t I would totally change my gatherobe and only wear harajuku or EGL wearings.
Just because , they are that cool.
I wouldn`t wear the skirts or dresses though...(I`m already way too clumbsy now , not even mentioning when I`m wearing high heals and a skirt or a dress)
But those Japanese clothes are just so...bloody hell they rule.thats it :P

I also hope I did well on my test (that and that my pws will magically finish itself , that would be nice thank you ^^)
But I know that I fucked up buseness and manegement. >.<
Course today really sucked , I have this course every Saturday morning so I can see if art school is something fitting for me (okey..I already know that it is but my mom forced me to and I kind of want to know if I`m talented enough)
It contains that we have to paint stuff...yeah..stuff in abstract stuff. Well this time , we had to fuck up someone else`s work. Or atleast it felt that way for me. It was our assignment to skribble and paint and do stuff (make it even MORE beautiful teacher said) but anyway..I really had the feeling I fucked the poor boy`s hard work up.
We had to paint a comment to the others last painting (are you still getting it?)
and when we were finished we had to combine the painting (thats where the raping of someone elses work starts)
It was also very painful to see someone raping MY work. (auch auch...)
And then...we had to give our sketchbook to someone else from the group so that person can skribble in it.
Heres the problem : I had two perfect drawings in that sketchbook and I`m not trusting my coursemate enough to think that she won`t touch it and paint on a blank paige.
I feel like I`ve scored an A on my test but then someone took it and messed up the answers so I got a F and to make it worse , they also took my sketchbook :(
So I`m kind of feeling sad right now , and after course I had to shop with my mom (which made me even MORE pissed)
And after I went home Josry totally forgot that I was supposed to come hanging out with him after course and that we were going to the movies .
auch yeah :P
But thats okey , I wasn`t in a going out mood anyway and after I pretended like I was angry with him he called me and said he was sorry and misunderstood , and if I wanted to watch a horribly romantic movie with him tonight at my place (HUH? okey the boyfriend I know from the previous relations never , ever said he was sorry and also didn`t want to watch movies with me.)
So I was happy , and surprised ....and realised we had nothing edable in house exept for macaroni >.<
So ...he made something macaroni..ishes and I ate all of it . It was kind of good (but to be honest , I even would`ve ate it and said it was good if it was burn`t and disgusting)
Wow...first time I wrote something serious about Jos here ,hehe well I guess I should...considering I`ve known and dated the guy like..forever. Just not all the time :P

879250  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-11-26
Written: (4941 days ago)

55 Things nobody gives a shit about... XD

1. Is your second toe bigger than your first?
No it is not

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
Black inker

3. Look at your planner for November 9, what were you doing?
Don`t have a planner , can`t remember.

4. What color are your toenails usually?
Natural pink , I find painting my toenails a bit gross for I have the ugliest feet in the world XD

5. What is the last thing you highlighted?
Things I have to remember for MO

7. What color are the seats in your car?
I don't have a car...but my dad`s car has blue seats

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
Yes I still have one , he`s called Poeke

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
On a postcard I forgot to send...oops

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
No...where the fuck is Wyoming >.<

where's 11???
I accidentaly stepped on it

12. Who is the last baby that you held?
Gaby , the newborn of my mother`s best friend.

13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names?
...No XD

14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?
I don`t really hate it but I like mint better.

15. What kind of car were you driving a year ago?
I don`t have a licence...yet :P

16. Pick one: Florida State Seminoles, Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators?
The pink ladielas

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
Yeaaars ago on a school trip.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow:
A yello post-it. Its a grocerie list.

20. Last person to give you a business card?
I have never ever recieved a business card .

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
Better question : Who will be the FIRST person you write a check to?

22. Closest framed picture to you?
One big frame with lots of pictures of me and grytsje.

23. Last time you did homework?
........ 3 years ago ?

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?

25. How many emails do you have?

26. Last time you recieved flowers?
Two years ago after a show

27. Who is the governor of your state?
I don't live in a state

28. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman?
Oh for fucks sake , off course not. I`m dutch and I grew up with the fact that being gay is in your genes and not in your head! Therefore people that prefer the same sex should get married if they want to , people should really stop whining about that.

29. Where do you get your myspace layouts from?
I don't have a myspace

30. What is the smallest key on your key ring for?
I actually don`t have a keyring

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
I... don't think so >_>

32. What was your high school's rival mascot?
I`m really starting to like Holland now for not having mascots ^^

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
Josry , said bye and have a nice dinner.

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
few hours ago

35. Have you ever worn camoflauge?
....NO XD

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
Green , like bright grass like green

37. What is in your inbox at work?
I don`t have a job yet

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
Something about high-schoolers

39. What was the last pageant you attended?

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
The Jumbo XD

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
yes I sometimes wear a crown to school. Because I`m like that XD

42. What is the last thing you stapled?

43. Did you ever drink Crystal Pepsi?

44. Ever had an ingrown toenail?
No never >.<

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
Last new year`s eve.

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
Never had one , and I don`t like doughnuts either.

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned their call?
I don't return calls because I hate calling people .

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
Never did , not eighteen yet remember.
49. Do you have a black dog?
No mine is grey ^^

50. Do you have any gourds?

51. Are you an Aunt or Uncle?
My siblings don`t have any children yet , or else it would be pretty fucked up *imagening grytsje with children* HAHAHAHAHAHA XD

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
Josry , big brown dark eyes *.* And those LASHES!! I`m actually jealous lol:P

53. Last time you saw a semi truck?
Pff...no clue

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
Never heard of him

55. Do you have a little black dress?
Actually I do , but I never wear it..its too...nice XD

878135  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-11-23
Written: (4944 days ago)

Yay another lame and totally good for nothing enquete thingie!
Yes you guessed it right...I was bored. <img:img/mood/44166_1164144921.gif>

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
No but I do scream.

3. When was the last time you've been sledding?
Pfff aaages ago , I think I must have been....like 5 years old or so?

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
With someone else , if you have once shared your bed with someone else it feels weird when you sleep alone.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes I do

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes but not nearly creative enough.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Who the fuck is O.J?

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Jolie , at least she can act. Anniston seems like a nicer person though.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
I know a bit , but I can`t vote yet so next year I`m going to devote myself to it.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Not yet..<img:img/mood/44166_1164144907.gif>

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight.
No , I don`t think it would even be possible for me .
I need my sleep ^^

12. Have you ever cheated on a test?
Once , but the whole class cheated so then its more like a practical joke. Sigh , I guess I`m not sneaky enough to be a good cheater

13. Who was your first crush?
Uuurm....*think think* I think it was a Turkish boy when I was there on vacation, must`ve been 12 or 13

(what happened to 14?)
It got sucked into hammer space.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Probably yes , but its better if you share a secret with at least one person.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I`m not into sports that include a fabric ball ^^

17. Have you ever been ice skating?
Yes , I`m also pretty good at it.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
I always remember some parts but I had a few weeks that I couldn`t remember any of it. Now I can remember them again fortunatly ^^

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
A few weeks ago when Josry found out at what parts of my body I`m the most ticklish

20. Can you name 4 songs by The Beatles?
a. Help
b. Yellow Submarine
c. All you need is love
d. Yesterday

21. What's the one thing on your mind?
I have thousands of things on my mind.

22. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes I do

23. Do you know who Ba-Ba-Booey is?
No but it sounds lame -.-

24. Do you always wear your seatbelt?
Whenever there is a seatbelt I do

25. What talent do you wish you had?
I wish I had an absolute memory , but thats not a talent isn`t it ?
Well...then I`d wish for the talent to sing , it must be great if you have a good voice.

26. Do you like Sushi?
I probably would if I ever got the chance to try it.

27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
I narrowly avoid fatal accidents everyday...XD Usually cars or trucks.

28. What do you wear to sleep?
Nothing....I`m a nude sleeper.

29. Righty or lefty?

30. Full house or Fresh Prince?
Both series are old and I enjoyed both of them but I guess I liked Full House more

31. Do you truly hate anyone?
No...hating costs waaay too much energy. I do dislike persons though

32. Rock or Rap?
Depends on my mood , but most of times rock.

34. Do you know anyone in jail?

35. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
When I was smaller I once did.

36. What food do you find disgusting?
Its a dutch dish called snert , it looks like someone just puked on your plate <img:img/mood/44166_1164145068.gif>

38. Do you drive an auto or stick?
Wtf is stick?

40. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes , when I was younger I immediatly stood up for someone if a person wasn`t treated right. Now I tend to do it less frequently

41. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes , also have been bitchslapped in the face.

42. When was the last time you danced?
Today , there isn`t a day without dancing.

43. Do you own any stuffed animals?
Any? Stocks!! But only those without fur, I`m allergic to most stuffed animals.

44. When was the last time you tripped?
Yesterday...damn I do trip alot XD

45. Were you born by a caesarian? (c-section)
No .

46. Do you like anyone?
Yes , infact I have a wonderfull , sweet and intelligent boyfriend whom I do not like , but love.

47. Do you miss someone right now?
Don`t you always miss someone?

877920  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-11-22
Written: (4945 days ago)

today was an interesting day , because you see I have headaches . Every day. Every hour . Every minute.
Always .
I`ve had them for like a half year now. Sometimes it doesn`t hurt that much and sometimes its so bad that smacking my head against the wall seems a good idea. But its always , always there.
It causes me concentration problems at school so my grades are drasticly dropping , not to mention that its just plain annoying. I read three times slower than I used to , and then I still can`t memorize all that I read .
And therefore I feel...stupid.
You know what its like..feeling stupid? It sucks...it really does because I`ve always considered myself quite a smart person...studying for a test meanth just reading the info for me and then I would pass it.
Not anymore though..And I know that I`m not stupid or dumb ..that its just the headache and the concentration problems but I still feel stupid.
Ive been to the doctor for this problem , he sent me to the hospital and they couldn`t find anything in my blood.
Weeks later I went again for my headache (I also went a few times for my astma)and the man did not take me seriously.. I could actually HEAR him thinking that I was just another teen attention seeker with a bit of a headache.
He thought I was overreacting and did not pay any attention to it , now tell me. Is it normal for someone to have constant headaches for SIX FUCKING MONTHS??<img:img/mood/44166_1164145272.gif>
So we tried the alternative way , someone that uses his hands to cure my headache.
I went there today for the first time..heres a detailed report.

When I stepped out of the car with my mom (yes my mom was with me , it was during schooltime and it was kind of far away so she had to drive me)I saw it was just at a regular house (surprise number one) I also thought that the man would be middle-aged...normal sized and quite introvert. Instead of that I was welcomed by a sixty-five year old man , kind of fat but not really and he talked quite alot and quite loud to.
And at that same moment ,that instant I immediatly knew that this was a good person and that he really could help me.And after I knew that all my nervousness faded away and I introduced myself.
I was said to take place on the chair before him , my mother could watch from a small distance in another chair.
The room itself looked like a normal study room..except for the big massage table. You didn`t get that uncomfortable doctor feeling.
He asked me what the problem was , and then felt my shoulders. "Like brick they are" he said. "Your shoulder muscles are stuck , you`re so tense..and thats why you have those headaches."
That wasn`t the weird part. From the moment he touched my shoulders and began to rub them to get the tension out of them. He started telling all kinds of stuff about me to me and my mother. Things he could not have known, for he had never seen or spoken any of us before.
He told me that I carry my problems too long with me , because I think I can solve them by myself.
He knew I`m a easy learner
He knew that I drink too little.
He knew that I don`t say important things out of myself.
Just by merely looking at me and touching my shoulders.
And then I realised..he is like me. But in a far more advanced stadium.<img:img/mood/44166_1164145253.gif>
It was not scary though..I`m kind of used to the alternative healing arts because my dad also practises them when I have a headache.
I also noticed that my hands were getting warm and at some moments I almost had to cry...for no reason at all.
That was really...really weird , but then again not scary. Not at all.
After a half hour or so my shoulders became more relaxed and he was overjoyed because I was making so much progress in so little time "It always works immediatly with kids" he said. He also layed a paper towel on my head and then softly massaged my head , "without the paper towel it would hurt both of us" he explained.
After an hour I already felt much better , I was tired but my headaches seemed less. I also got some tips . I have to practice walking straight (so my energy can flow through my body normally) and I have to stretch my shoulders three times per day.
I also have to go to the healer (magnetiseur in dutch) two more times , but not for a whole hour anymore . Maybe an half hour or so.
I still have headaches , they are even worse now but the man warned me that it might become worse at first and a day after I would be rid of my headaches. Or they would be easier to handle. He also asked me (well kind of obligated me) to open up a bit more to my surroundings , to tell persons when I have something thats on my mind.
I guess I`m really a loner when it comes to sharing problems , but I honestly will try. At least to Josry and Grytsje , I can talk to them about anything ^^


870015  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-11-01
Written: (4966 days ago)

okey note : I fucking hate being sick.
Yes..I am sick , again. This time my bronchien (or however they are called in english) decided to get all fucked up and maybe I have also astma creeping in on me. That sucks because when you get astma at my age , you`ll never grow over it.
But anyway , I can`t stop coughing (I even bruised a few ribs because of it) my head still hurts , I have zero fatigue and I can`t even lift a chair. Oh.. I`m also on antibiotics so I`m supposed to get better soon
I`ve been sick for almost a week now ><

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