[Nite_Owl]'s diary

966462  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-08-13
Written: (4742 days ago)

Why must endings in all the stories be happy, and all the endings to life be so sad? Why are there two such extremes, and never something to divide them? Endings can never be eaither happy or sad. Endings are determined by the choices we make--not the little choices, but the big ones in life. Endings can be changed; all life can be changed if one wills it to differ from it's original directions.

The only endings there truly are are the right and the wrong. Fate will not extend her arms toward any single person to change her plans. Only we can set things straight to set up for things to be right in the end. It is our duty as humans to push the plans aside in favor of all others.

This is what defines us.

959392  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-07-20
Written: (4766 days ago)

Just to let everyone know (and sory for the short notice) but I won't be on much if at all for the next two weeks. We're going for a drive up the coast all the way to Oregon to visit my grandparents. I might have some internet access for the first week, but probably not for the second week. To my RP: go on ahead without me if you'd like, though not too far. To Moira: I'll try to beta as much as I can while I'm up there :) To everyone else: Love you all and hope I talk to y'all soon.

Love and peace, mates!

(~,^) Owlie--out! (^,~)

951990  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-06-25
Written: (4791 days ago)
Next in thread: 952364

I write this diary in memory of Eddie, my computer. He died this morning on June 24 when I came home. He will be sorely missed. We had some good times and frustrating times, but he always pulled through.

A song in prayer:

"Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes--here he lies, no one knew his worth, the late provider of my network--on these nights when we celebrate his birth...in that company called E-Machines, the day he crashed, when his screen flashed: Controooool Alt. Deleeeeete."

XP Ah, I have no life. If you don't know what that little song is from, it's my own version of the intro to RENT's popular "La Vie Boheme" song (^,^) I thought of it randomly.

Eddie, I'll love you always. No one stored my por--*ahem*--innocent photos and music like you did XD

<3 R.I.P. <3

930154  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-04-14
Written: (4862 days ago)
Next in thread: 930156

Well this week has been somewhat interesting, I think.

Since I've actually been writing in this diary on a semi-regular basis (by no means whoring though of course) most of you probably missed the note I made about a week ago about selecting a good poem to read at the first annual poetry reading for my school. Despite my terrible stage fright, I ended up reading four of them--"Sing Me a Song", "Amid the Falling Snow", "For What It's Worth", and "Th King"--which everyone seemed to like a lot :D So that was nice. I'll be sure to go again next year :)

In other news it seems my depression is finally lifting officially. I know I've been saying that for months, but a little secret--I lied before :\ The last months have been absolute crap in it's worst form in my opinion, and just generally hopeless. But I'm feeling a lot better lately, I suppose, with many thanks to friends, not just here at school and such but all you guys on ET too :) I'll try not to be so depressed-sounding anymore.

I just hope that the hope and faith I've gotten back now isn't in vain. Please don't let it be...

928248  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-04-09
Written: (4868 days ago)

I was reading one of my old poems, titled "My Journey" (you can find it at Nite Owl's Poetry), and I've realized something.

People are always comparing life to a path with a series of forks, driving you closer or farther to your true destination. But really, what path is there to follow? Paths give no room to choose, just a bunch of twists and turns imagined by others. When I picture life now, I see a barren wasteland all around--no trees, no life, no path to guide. Somewhere far in the distance, in any and all directions, is perhaps only an illusion of life and fulfillment that we all strive for. We see it and head for it, hopeful, but after a few miles our hope dwindles and dies slowly, and we stop to make a new judgement--choose another random direction. We keep heading for this illusion at the edges of a wasteland, thinking them to be real all that time, until we are starved for love and life and die. It is then we finally see...the green oasis far off evaporates and flitters behind instead--all this time wasted, chasing something that didn't exsist so tirelessly and thoughtlessly that we miss the only real one.

It's so hard to focus on the things we need to find rather than the things we desperately want to find when all of what we see is the same, the same trials and decisions and comprimises over and over. Few find a place where they can stop running and looking and simply rest. Sometimes, that place is still only an illusion, but even so it is restful, peacful.

Nothing is truly hopeless. You need only see that where you are going is just an illusion, a false happiness that crumles with each step. Footsteps will lead you back to where you start, and sometimes that is the only real way, the only true way.

Everyone in this wasteland deserves a chance to go back and choose another way, to take a second chance. Everyone deserves at least that much, if only they make the journey back.

927879  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-04-08
Written: (4869 days ago)
Next in thread: 928011

Hey, who wants to beat this guy into the ground with me? >:(

From: [Skylar J.S.]
To: [Nite_Owl] (New RP needs chars! Visit The Legion (^,^)
Sent mail 2007-04-07 22:46:21
Comment in 68277328

I like to fuck my dog. Just kidding. I like experimenting but that is too much for me. Your hot and think we should talk more. Blow me. Bye

Yeah, I had a few things to say to that one. Maybe he'll take the good acvice and not dare message me again (>,<)
926499  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-04-04
Written: (4873 days ago)

I finally found the song that was stuck in my head for a moneth :D I heard it in our school's production of "The Fantasticks" but couldn't find it anywhere. It's called "It Depends on What You Pay"....aka "The Rape Song" XD *roflroflrofl!*


A pretty rape!
A literary rape!

We've the obvious open schoolboy rape,
With little mandolins and perhaps a cape.
The rape by coach; it's little in request.
The rape by day, but the rape by night is best.

Just try to see it.
And you will soon agree, señors,
Invite regret,
When you can get the sort of rape
You'll never ever forget.

You can get the rape emphatic.
You can get the rape polite.
You can get the rape with Indians:
A very charming sight.
You can get the rape on horseback;
They'll all say it's new and gay.
So you see the sort of rape
Depends on what you pay.
It depends on what you

The kids will love it.
It depends on what you pay!
So why be stingy?
It depends on what you --

The spectacular rape,
With costumes ordered from the East.
Requires rehearsal
And takes a dozen men at least.
A couple of singers,
And a string quartet.
A major production.
Requires a set.

Sounds expensive!

Just try to see it.
And you will soon si,si señors,
Invite regret,
When you can get the sort of rape
You'll never ever forget.

(Chorus x1)

So why be stingy?
It depends on what you pay!
The kids will love it.
It depends on what you --

The comic rape.
Perhaps it's just a trifle too unique.
Romantic rape:
Done while canoeing on a moonlit creek.
The gothic rape!
I play "Valkyrie" on a bass bassoon!
The drunken rape.
It's done completely in a cheap saloon.

The rape Venetian
Needs a blue lagoon.
The rape with moonlight
Or without a moon.
Moonlight is expensive but it's in demand.
The military rape:
It's done with drummer and a band.

You understand?
I understand.
It's very grand.
It's very grand.
It's done with drums and a great big brass band!

Just try to see it.
I see it!
I see it!
And you will soon si,si señors,
Invite regret,
When you can get the sort of rape
You'll never ever forget.

(Chorus x3)

So why be stingy?
It depends on what you pay!
The kids will love it.
It depends on what you


926461  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-04-04
Written: (4873 days ago)

I'm thinking about speaking at a poetry reading this next Thursday (the 12th), but I can't decide on what poem I'd like best to read, or if I should go at all even. I'd like people's opinions on this one, if you can :) I might get a video of this reading, so if I do I might share it with you--but then again, I film terribly haha At least you'll know how I sound like then :P

923425  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-03-25
Written: (4882 days ago)

Last night I had such a beautiful and amazing dream. Not amazing in the way one would usually think...but for once it made me happy. Happier than I've been in months.

I was simply laying beside someone, holding her, a girl with long hair, but I never saw her face. I could feel her hands and her hair and the wind. It was quiet but for the very subtle breeze--neither of us spoke. It all seemed so real...so much so that when I woke I only felt a continuance of the dream and a hope that it was true....and then soon after that ugly sickening blackness that always comes back to haunt me.

My mind loves to trick me, to betray me. Whenever I sense hope it shows me there is nothing to hope for. Whenever I lose hope and will and happiness, it shows me so much that could be right in this life...and then just as quickly kick me to the ground and spit at me, mocking me for ever believing it to be true. I feel like I have already died somehow, yet still struggling to pull myself out of a pit of blackness, but once I finally see the light all I hear are vultures and rats at the top, waiting to peck me into submission once more. Still I try to muster strength to keep going alone in the dark; still I try to hold on to hope.

Maybe this time my dreams have given in to show me what may happen if only I wait for the vultures to loose their appetite and retreat. Maybe the light isn't as far away as it seems, nor the climb so steep. Then again, perhaps I hope for too much. But what else can I do if not have faith in something...someone? I simply hope not to fall back into the pit. Just hold on a little longer...just a little longer...

Just hold on.

919602  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-03-14
Written: (4894 days ago)

The following is a speech of sorts written by [Panda-monium]. I really appreciate what she has to say, and decided that other's should see this as well. Thank you, Panda, for giving me a little more courage to be myself and stand up for what is right.

I was watching a collection of videos called 10 couples. It's about gay relationships, families in which the parents are gay, same-sex marriage, and equal rights. And as I watched it, I really connected with a lot of the couples, including the male couples. There was one in which, the man had prostrate cancer, and he said "My gosh, who could ask for anything more than what I have? I'm not excited about the cancer but if I have to have cancer to be able to enjoy the relationship we have I'd take it in a heart beat. I just wouldn't have wanted to miss out on this, under any circumstance." It reminds me of the words from City Of Angels "I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One." If that's not love, I don't what is. And yet, as you can see, it seems to be the same love, in both quotes, the same devotion, the same feeling. But one is accepted and one's not. One couple would be allowed to marry, and the other wouldn't be. They say love between a man and a woman is sacred. But to look at those two quotes, I bet out of context you couldn't tell which was from a heterosexual couple and which was from a gay couple. So how is it different? How can one be more sacred than the other, when they're the same? The only difference between the two is ostensible. It's the same ostensible difference between black people and white people, between men and women, and between humans and animals. If you believe in equal rights for any of these, how can you deny equal rights to homosexuals? If you do not allow ostensible differences to blind you into ignorance in any other part of your life, how can you possibly allow it to blind you into ignorance in any part of your life? Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, transsexual, how are they are not human? How is their love not the same? You wouldn't hate someone for being black, so why would you hate someone for being gay? How can you let superficial difference have such an impact on what you believe? Don't tell me it's against god, there is as much if not more in the bible telling you to accept and love everyone than there is about condemning homosexuality. How can you say you don't care if people are gay so long as you don't see it? Can a black person hide the colour of their skin? And why should they have to hide? What is the difference between a man and a woman kissing each other good bye at the airport, and two men or two women doing the same thing?

People are condemned everyday because of their beliefs, because of their race, and because of their gender. Women are raped and murdered in the name of honour, children are sold as slaves, dictators reign supremely over their people with tyranny, and genocide is happening in places through out the world. We live in world where fear and hatred are given the status of nobility. We live in a world where innocent people die, and guilty people are set free. We live in a world where innocence is lost, and cynics are the most commonly heard voices in our media. Where the things that are seen as good and beautiful in this world are destroyed daily in the name of commerce and progress. And we live in a world, where all of this takes a back burner in the free nations of the world, to the debate of same-sex marriage. What is more important, making sure two happy people in love are not allowed to have the right to marry, or making sure that this world is a free and just place for everyone? In the words of a man we all know, and most of us respect, Martin Luther King Jr., "justice denied anywhere diminishes justice everywhere". How can we deny justice to anyone? How can we deny equality to everyone? There was a time when the world needed to hear the words "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character". Now the world needs to hear that many of us, have a dream that everyone be judged not by superficial differences, such as race, gender or sexuality, but by the "content of their character". To end I would like to take another quote from the '10 couples' "It doesn't matter who you love, what matters is that you can love and that you do love someone".
911881  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-02-19
Written: (4917 days ago)

Well, at last, my FIRST roleplay The Legion is officially open for character applications! Please send me a PM or comment on the page itself if you'd like to join. I'd like to only admit people I knowo and anyone they'd care to invite as well (there's already a few of you, and you know who you are so no need to tell me again heh). Once I get a fair amount of players on each side, including some for me of course, the roleplay shall finally commence! *breaks champgne bottle, throws confetti, dances* weeeeeeeeee!! Yay for Owlie!! (^,^)

905671  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-02-02
Written: (4934 days ago)


If you know anything about David Tennant or Doctor Who, this is the video for you (aka Squee)! XD Seeing smexy David grow exponentially smexier in drag is just fantastic, I swear! And those legs...!! :o *le gasp* You can't miss this one, mate!

904216  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-01-29
Written: (4938 days ago)

A poets curse is his ability to write the most beautiful words to describe the world, the people, the feelings inside...but they are like mutes in a world of people that never cease to talk. Why is it that I can write poetry in an instant with the mention of a single word, and yet I am silent when the time comes to speak my mind to another as I should. All through my head run words and verses and memories, and none of them ever manifest into speech. I wish I were strong enough to simply say out loud what I wish to say so badly. Instead I cower, hiding the back of my mind with an ocassional step into the written word, ever cautious of all else outside it.

How verstile the mind and body are, what things they can accomplish, and yet what things they are afraid of so terribly at the same time. It's amazing how one person, one word, one blink of the eye can alter everything you've ever thought, everything you ever believed in, or didn't believe in, everything you based your world upon. And with that one thing one can either rebuild the foundations of their entire world....or watch helplessly as it crumbles to the ground in dust and rubble, and all there is to do is wait until another such event comes round, for all the effect it may have is to help rebuild it all over again as it was, perhaps even stronger this time. Faith and science, love and hate, body and mind...they can all change so rapidly and with such ease, even being the complicated concepts they are.

The world is a strange and cruel place at times, but still so wonderful in a most morbid and twisted sort of way.

896085  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-01-08
Written: (4959 days ago)

Well...school starts again tomorrow....sounds fun, eh? (>,<) *sigh* Basically this whole break was really a waste of time except for yesterday--I did absolutely nothing but lay on me ass all the time trying to get someone to do something, anything, with me :( Oh well...

I need to actually try this semester and not screw it all up like last time. Which means more homework, less Elftown, and a more unhappy Owlie that might actually go to college if I can pull my assout of the gutter I made already.

Then of course the whole double lunch thing....we're going to need to call a meeting of some sort and try to arrange what we're going to do now that we can't sit in the same area anymore :( Hopefully it won't be as horrible as I think it will be....but that's basically what tomorrow will consist of--running around trying to figure things outall over again like a stupid freshman (>,<) Fun, fun....

I shall update on the morrow to see how things really went down.

894323  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-01-03
Written: (4964 days ago)

*gasp!* TWO, conut 'em, TWO diaries in one day?! What is this travesty cannot be possible!! :o

Just wanted to tell people to visit my friggin page! XP Go to Owlie is... to talk shit ab--I mean...write nice beautiful tear-jerker things about Owlie! :D All friends and acquaintances are welcome to write WHATEVER they so desire, so be as nice or as cruel as you want (^,^) Ta-ta!

894236  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-01-03
Written: (4964 days ago)

Oh Gads, this was friggin hilarious!! XD

“If a Jew dies on a hill, and no one else is around, does he make a religion?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Original Jesus

*ish shitting herself* hahahaha I found that on www.uncyclopedia.org (the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit!). It's a great site for when you need a little pick me up. Just type in anything you want--I'd recommend Harry Potter or Satan if you want something to laugh at XD

Hehehe have fun!

890864  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-12-25
Written: (4973 days ago)


An extremely interesting insight into what REALLY lies ahead in the "afterlife."


Now I must admit, this version is a bit more believeable than most I've heard. However, if this is true (no offense in advance), then Jesus and David and all them are a bunch of bastards! I'm sorry, but if this is what the afterlife will be like I know sure as shit I don't want to die--not that I wanted to before but...you get it. I've always said people misinterpret the Bible A LOT, but this is pretty bad. So basically we're all going to rule over Earth Mark II if we believe God resurected Jesus--boy, that sounds like fun! And if we don't, I guess we get to be slaves! Yippee!! (>,<) Fucking world rulers--God must not be the brightest crayon in Heaven...but then again we are made after his image so maybe we just rubbed off on him the wrong way, eh? But basically...it's gonna be one Hellish-Heaven-on-Earth afterlife.
889644  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-12-21
Written: (4977 days ago)

Just a Few of My Thoughts

(Warning: somewhat-intriguing rant ahead!)

I believe that although peace is impossible it is never worthless to continue to strive for it. It should never be bargained for something else or be forgotten and abandoned. There is always time to try.

I believe that true love doesn't exist as others say it does. I believe that love is simply an illusion that people create to give them the hope they need to live on, an illusion pieced together from little fragments of anecdotes in storybooks and verses that only tell you the little happenings of a year or two. But this hope is something that all need and strive for, and that I do believe in--despite the illusion, it is necessary.

I believe that if love does exist, one can only give one's heart away so many times before it shatters under the pressure of uncareful hands.

I believe that people are remarkable beings with the power to change not only their peers and the world they live in, but also themselves--but it is a power that often goes underestimated until it is too late.

It is never too late to appolgize, however simple or complicated the matter may be.

I believe that it is the simple things that drive men mad, not the incredible ones. Despite a lifetime of invisibility to others or of bloodshed, a single flutter of a passing butterfly's wings may drive a man to do the worst in the end.

I believe that if there was a God who created us all in his image, he was no better a being than the average human despite all his power. Like any human would do, a world is only created to watch it's population evolve, flourish, and then dwindle away and become wiped out before creating a newer, better world--simple trial and error without point.

I believe God needs to exist to give people hope as well. Without it, the world would perish under the weight of so much pressure placed solely on their shoulders and no light in the dark to turn to--however, perhaps without Him, many things that make man as terrible and wonderful a thing that he is would never have happened.

I believe that the church, no matter which one or where, has become corrupt over the years into something evil. You can only speak so much of the devil before you realize you are only describing yourself.

I believe that a person's life and all they do is their choice and their choice alone. The world will go mad the day that this does not stand true--in fact, it already has.

I believe we've lost sight of the things that truly matter to us in a foolish search of something better. Sometimes others must be put forth before yourself, and sometimes not. Sometimes it is simply more important to follow your own futile dreams and in the end smile and say you tried, than to follow the broken dreams of others and die in silence, without a single word to say, only thinking one thing--What happened to my life?

I believe that dying with a dream in your mind, a song in your heart, and a smile on your face is infinitely more noble than dying with a sword in your hands, blood on your soul, and a face that none will remember in ten years.

I believe too much time is spent understanding the world and people around us than understanding ourselves.

Am I a cynic...? If you didn't already know the answer to that you weren't paying much attention, were you?
889247  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-12-20
Written: (4978 days ago)

:D I'm finally creating a roleplay of my own! It's not too terribly original....but I'm still proud of it. hehehe

I was reading a bit of Stephen King when I recalled one of my favorite movies, The Storm of the Century. The line "My name is Legion, for we are many." kept running through my mind and slowly a little idea dropped out of it. So, I wrote it down. I couldn't decide if I wanted to write it or make an RP out of it, but I decided to start with the RP and go from there.

I'd like some help from other peopl if you're willing. I've only got the main storyline up for the most part, but you can find it at The Legion. :) I'm quite looking forward to it....

883528  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-12-06
Written: (4991 days ago)

The Masochism Tango - Tom Lehrer/Dr. Demento

I ache for the touch of your lips, dear,
But much more for the touch of your whips, dear.
You can raise welts
Like nobody else
As we dance to the masochism tango.

Let our love be a flame not an ember,
Say it's me that you want to dismember,
Blacken my eye,
Set fire to my tie
As we dance to the masochism tangeo

At your command,
Before you here I stand,
My heart is in my hand...eww...
It's here that I must be.
My heart entreats,
Just hear those savage beats,
Then go put on your cleats
And come and trample me.

Your heart's hard as ston or mahognay,
That's why I'm in such exquisite agony.
My soul is on fire,
It's aflame with desire,
Which is why I perspire when we tango.

You caught my nose in your left castanet, love,
I can feel the pain yet, love,
Everytime I hear drums.
And I envy the rose that you held in your teeth, love,
With the thorns underneath, love,
Sticking into your gums.

Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches,
The last time I needed twenty stitches
To sew up the gash you made with your lash
As we danced to the masochism tango.

Bash in my brain
And make me scream with pain,
Then kick me once again
And swear we'll never part.
I know too well
I'm underneath your spell
So darling if you smell
Something burning, it's my heart.

Take you cigarette from it's holder
And burn your initials in my shoulder.
Fracture my spine
And swear that you're mine
As we dance to the maso--chism tango.

tee-hee! XD

 The logged in version 

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