[American Revolutionary]'s diary

1144100  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2011-11-11
Written: (3300 days ago)

[JAVERT]
Valjean, at last,
We see each other plain
`M'sieur le Mayor,'
You'll wear a different chain!

[VALJEAN]
Before you say another word, Javert
Before you chain me up like a slave again
Listen to me! There is something I must do.
This woman leaves behind a suffering child.
There is none but me who can intercede,
In Mercy's name, three days are all I need.
Then I'll return, I pledge my word.
Then I'll return...

[JAVERT]
You must think me mad!
I've hunted you across the years
Men like you can never change
A man such as you.

[VALJEAN (in counterpoint)]
Believe of me what you will
There is a duty that I'm sworn to do
You know nothing of my life
All I did was steal some bread
You know nothing of the world
You would sooner see me dead
But not before I see this justice
done
I am warning you Javert
I'm a stronger man by far
There is power in me yet
My race is not yet run
I am warning you Javert
There is nothing I won't dare
If I have to kill you here
I'll do what must be done!

[JAVERT (in counterpoint)]
Men like me can never change
Men like you can never change
No,
24601
My duty's to the law - you have no
Rights
Come with me 24601
Now the wheel has turned around
Jean Valjean is nothing now
Dare you talk to me of crime
And the price you had to pay
Every man is born in sin
Every man must choose his way
You know nothing of Javert
I was born inside a jail
I was born with scum like you
I am from the gutter too!

[Valjean breaks a chair and threatens Javert with the broken piece. Turns to Fantine]

[VALJEAN]
[to Fantine] And this I swear to you tonight

[JAVERT]
[to Valjean] There is no place for you to hide

[VALJEAN]
Your child will live within my care

[JAVERT]
Wherever you may hide away

[VALJEAN]
And I will raise her to the light.

[VALJEAN AND JAVERT]
I swear to you, I will be there!

[They fight, Javert is knocked out. Valjean escapes

1144068  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-11-10
Written: (3301 days ago)

Part 1]
Daddy's flown across the ocean
Leaving just a memory
A snapshot in the family album
Daddy, what else did ya leave for me?
Daddy, whatcha leave behind for me?
All in all it was just a brick in the wall
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall

[Part 2]
We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers, leave them kids alone
Hey, Teachers, leave those kids alone

All in all its just another brick in the wall
All in all you're just another brick in the wall

We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers, leave them kids alone
Hey, Teachers, leave those kids alone

All in all you're just another brick in the wall
All in all you're just another brick in the wall
[guitar]

[Part 3]
I don't need no arms around me
I don't need no drugs to calm me
I have seen the writing on the wall
Don't think I need anything at all
No, don't think I need anything at all
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall
All in all you were all just bricks in the wall

[Goodbye Cruel World]
Goodbye, cruel world
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind
Goodbye

1144067  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-11-10
Written: (3301 days ago)

Pick me up
Been bleeding too long
Right here, right now
I'll stop it somehow

I will make it go away
Can't be here no more
Seems this is the only way
I will soon be gone
These feelings will be gone
These feelings will be gone

Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?

Shut me off
I'm ready, heart stops
I stand alone
Can't be my own

I will make it go away
Can't be here no more
Seems this is the only way
I will soon be gone
These feelings will be gone
These feelings will be gone

Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?

Am I going to leave this place?
What is it I'm running from?
Is there nothing more to come?
(Am I gonna leave this place?)
Is it always black in space?
Am I going to take its place?
Am I going to win this race?
(Am I going to leave this race?)
I guess God's up in this place?
What is it that I've become?
Is there something more to come?
(More to come)

Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?

Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man

1144057  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-11-10
Written: (3301 days ago)

I am clearly broken
And no one knows what to do
Pieces of the puzzles don't fit so I'm coming into you
Itching is a pulse inside
Screaming out to come alive
It's just you and I
It's time to

Times are looking grim these days
Holding on to everything
It's hard to draw the line

Shut the fuck up, get up [x3ntaro]

I can't wait to rip my eyes out and look at you
Peace through pain is trash
Especially when it's done by you

Itching is a pulse inside
Screaming out to come alive
It's just you and I
It's time to

Times are looking grim these days
Holding on to everything
It's hard to draw the line
And I, I'm hiding in this empty space
Torture all my memories
Of what I left behind

Shut the fuck up, get up [x3ntaro]

Shut
Up

Times are looking grim these days
Holding on to everything
It's hard to draw the line
And I, I'm hiding in this empty space
Torture all my memories
Of what I left behind

Shut the fuck up, get up [x3

1143945  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2011-11-07
Written: (3304 days ago)

When I woke up this morning
Wiped the sleep from my eyes
Found a new day dawning
And suddenly I realize
You're gone

Tell me I was dreaming
That you didn't leave me here to cry
You didn't say you don't love me anymore
And it was just my imagination telling lies
Tell me that you didn't say goodbye

I'm in a state of confusion
I hope things aren't what they seem
If this is really happening
Just let me go back to dream
You're home

Tell me I was dreaming
That you didn't leave me here to cry
You didn't say you don't love me anymore
And it was just my imagination telling lies
Tell me that you didn't say goodbye

Tell me I was dreaming
That you didn't leave me here to cry
You didn't say you don't love me anymore
And it was just my imagination telling lies
Tell me that you didn't say goodbye

1143853  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2011-11-04
Written: (3307 days ago)

It's another back-door sneakin' in
Where you been? midnight
Quiet as a mack truck-lotsa luck
Thinkin' up an alibi
But every light in the house is on
Everything is gone

She left me no chance at redemption
No further exemption
Just a big red "goodbye" is lipstick on the wall
Goodbye says it all
No long explanation
No reconciliation
No let's-talk-it-over number I can call
Goodbye says it all
Goodbye...

She could have thrown a knock-down scream-and-shout
Have-it-out tirade
She could have made it real tough bringing up
All the hell that I raised
But no more wasted words on me
No, she kept short and sweet

She left me no chance at redemption
No further exemption
Just a big red "goodbye" is lipstick on the wall
Goodbye says it all
No long explanation
No reconciliation
No let's-talk-it-over number I can call
Goodbye says it all
Goodbye...

No more wasted words on me
No, she kept short and sweet

She left me no chance at redemption
No further exemption
Just a big red "goodbye" is lipstick on the wall
Goodbye says it all
No long explanation
No reconciliation
No let's-talk-it-over number I can call
Goodbye says it all
Goodbye...

1143841  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-11-03
Written: (3308 days ago)

Well momma told me, when I was young
Said sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this, it'll help you some sunny day

Oh take your time, don't live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
You'll find a woman and you'll find love
And don't forget that there is a someone up above

[chorus]
And be a simple kind of man
And be a something you love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Oh won't you do this for me son if you can


Get your lust from the rich man's gold
All that you need now is in your soul
And you can do this, oh baby if you try
All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied

[chorus]
And be a simple kind of man
Be a something you love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Won't you do this for me son if you can


Oh don't you worry
You'll find yourself
Follow your heart
And nothing else
And you can do this, oh baby if you try
All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied

[chorus]
And be a simple kind of man
Oh won't you do this for me son if you can
So baby be a simple, be a simple man
Oh won't you do this for me son if you can

1143840  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-11-03
Written: (3308 days ago)

Well, I was thumbin' from Montgomery
I had my guitar on my back
When a stranger stopped beside me in an antique Cadillac
Well he was dressed like 1950
Half drunk and hollow-eyed
He said "Its a long walk to Nashville
Would you like a ride, son?"
And well I sat down in the front seat, he turned on the radio
Them sad old songs comin' out of them speakers was solid country gold
And I noticed the stranger was ghost-white pale
When he asked me for a light
And I knew there was something strange about this ride

(Chorus)
He said "Drifter can ya make folks cry when you play and sing?
Have you paid your dues, can you moan the blues?
Can you bend them guitar strings?"
He said "Boy, can you make folks feel what you feel inside?
Cause if you're big star bound let me warn ya, its a long, hard ride"

Then he cried just south of Nashville
And he turned that car around
He said "This is where you get off boy,
Cause I'm goin' back to Alabam'"
As I stepped out of that Cadillac
I said "Mister, many thanks"
He said "You don't have to call me Mister, Mister.,
The whole world called me Hank

Chorus x2

If you're big star bound
Let me warn ya its a long, hard ride

1143839  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-11-03
Written: (3308 days ago)

If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I don't wanna go
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I'd just as soon stay home

I was one of the chosen few
To be born in Alabam
I'm just alike my daddy's son
I'm proud of who I am
I went through a lot of good women
And shook old Jim Beam's hand
If I never see the pearly gates
I've walked through the promised land

If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I don't wanna go
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I'd just as soon stay home
If they don't have a Grand Ole Opry
Like they do in Tennessee
Just send me to hell or New York City
It would be about the same to me

I've got wild honey trees and crazy little weeds
Growin around my shack
These dusty roads ain't streets of gold
But I'm a happy right where I'm at
All these pretty little southern belles
Are a country boy's dream
They ain't got wings or halos
But they sure look good to me

If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I don't wanna go
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I'd just as soon stay home
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I don't wanna go
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I'd just as soon stay home
If they don't have a Grand Ole Opry
Like they do in Tennessee
Just send me to hell or New York City
It would be about the same to me

If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I don't wanna go
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I'd just as soon stay home
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I don't wanna go
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie
I'd just as soon stay home
If they don't have a Grand Ole Opry
Like they do in Tennessee
Just send me to hell or New York City
It would be about the same to me

1143838  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-11-03
Written: (3308 days ago)

Well my name's John Lee Pettimore
Same as my daddy and his daddy before
You hardly ever saw Grandaddy down here
He only came to town about twice a year
He'd buy a hundred pounds of yeast and some copper line
Everybody knew that he made moonshine
Now the revenue man wanted Grandaddy bad
He headed up the holler with everything he had
It's before my time but I've been told
He never came back from Copperhead Road
Now Daddy ran the whiskey in a big block Dodge
Bought it at an auction at the Mason's Lodge
Johnson County Sheriff painted on the side
Just shot a coat of primer then he looked inside
Well him and my uncle tore that engine down
I still remember that rumblin' sound
Well the sheriff came around in the middle of the night
Heard mama cryin', knew something wasn't right
He was headed down to Knoxville with the weekly load
You could smell the whiskey burnin' down Copperhead Road

I volunteered for the Army on my birthday
They draft the white trash first,'round here anyway
I done two tours of duty in Vietnam
And I came home with a brand new plan
I take the seed from Colombia and Mexico
I plant it up the holler down Copperhead Road
Well the D.E.A.'s got a chopper in the air
I wake up screaming like I'm back over there
I learned a thing or two from ol' Charlie don't you know
You better stay away from Copperhead Road

Copperhead Road
Copperhead Road
Copperhead Road

1143837  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-11-03
Written: (3308 days ago)

Ever since the days of old,
Men would search for wealth untold.
They'd dig for silver and for gold,
And leave the empty holes.
And way down south in the Everglades,
Where the black water rolls and the saw grass waves.
The eagles fly and the otters play,
In the land of the Seminole.

So blow, blow Seminole wind,
Blow like you're never gonna blow again.
I'm calling to you like a long lost friend,
But I know who you are.
And blow, blow from the Okeechobee,
All the way up to Micanopy.
Blow across the home of the Seminole,
The alligators and the garr.

Progress came and took its toll,
And in the name of flood control,
They made their plans and they drained the land,
Now the glades are going dry.
And the last time I walked in the swamp,
I sat upon a Cypress stump,
I listened close and I heard the ghost,
Of Osceola cry.

So blow, blow Seminole wind,
Blow like you're never gonna blow again.
I'm calling to you like a long lost friend
But I know who you are.
And blow, blow from the Okeechobee,
All the way up to Micanopy.
Blow across the home of the Seminole,
The alligators and the garr.

1143834  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-11-03
Written: (3308 days ago)

Blue Kentucky highway, headin' for the line
She hadn't said a word all night,
But the wheels are turnin' in her mind
Now I was ridin' shotgun,
And I knew things had gone awry
Just as soon as she dropped me off
At the side of the road
And she let that gravel fly

Now I'm walkin' in the moonlight,
Seein' nothin' but the taillights
And that's a pair of taillights
I may never see again
She hit me with the left and right,
Showin' me nothin' but the taillights
And that's about as lonely
As the highway's ever been
Back here with my thumb out in the wind

Was it somethin' that I did to her,
Or the things I never said
I wonder if the way we were was only in my head
Now if I even make it back to town
Before the sun comes up
I'm gonna hit every parking spot around
'Til I find that pick-up truck

Now I'm talkin' in the moonlight
Seein' nothin' but the taillights
And that's a pair of taillights
I may never see again
She hit me with the left and right
Showin' me nothin' but the taillights
And that's about as lonely
As a highway's ever been
Stuck here with my thumb out in the wind
Well I'll bet right now she's laughin'
At how she brought me to my knees
But she won't be laughin' half as loud
When she gives me back my keys

She'll be walkin' in the moonlight,
Seein' nothin' but the taillights
And that's a pair of taillights
She won't ever see again
She hit me with a left and right
And with nothin' but the taillights
And I know that's about as lonely
As a highway's ever been
Back here with my thumb out in the wind
There she goes, here I come

1143832  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-11-03
Written: (3308 days ago)

never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
Every thunder cloud that came was one more I might not get through
On the darkest day there's always light and now I see it too
But I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
I hear it falling in the night and filling up my mind
All the heaven's rivers come to light I see it all unwind
I hear it talking through the trees and on the window pane
When I hear it I just can't believe I never liked the rain

Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Liked the rain always calling for you I'm falling for you now
Just like the rain

When the cloud is rolling over thunder striking me
It's as bright as lightning and I wonder why I couldn't see
That it's always good and when the flood is gone we still remain
Guess I've known all along I just belong here with you falling

Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Liked the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now
Just like the rain I have fallen for you
I'm falling for you now just like the rain

And when the night falls on our better days
And we're looking to the sky
For the winds to take us high above the plains
I know that we'll find better ways to look into the eye of the storms that will be calling
Forever we'll be falling

Like the rain I have fallen for you, and I know just why you
Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now just
Like the rain I have fallen for you, and I know just why you
Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now just
Like the rain I have fallen for you, and I know just why you
Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now just
Like the rain
Like the rain
Like the rain
Like the rain
Like the rain
Like the rain

1143808  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-11-03
Written: (3309 days ago)

im in a sad mood, my aunt sue died a few hours ago..god damn it....god fucking damn it!!!!! why?!?!?!? anyway if i seem sad or pissed off im not gonna take it out on you...ill need to vent

1143762  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2011-11-02
Written: (3309 days ago)

[this is another song that im in love with, i want them to play this at my funeral] Find myself all alone
In darkness without you
Now I can't turn away
From what I must do
You know I'd give my life for you
More than words can say
I've shown you how to love someone
I know you'll find a way

Say goodbye, close your eyes
Remember me
Walk away, the sun remains
Remember me

I'll live on somewhere in your heart
You must believe
Remember me

No way I can change my mind
I don't have the answers
If you could see through my eyes
You'd let go of your fears
And though I have to leave you now
With the thought of each other
I'll miss your touch
You call my name
I am with you forever

Say goodbye, close your eyes
Remember me
Walk away, the sun remains
Remember me
With the change, we can't explain
Remember me

I'll live on somewhere in your heart
You must believe
Remember me

Solo

You know I'd give my life for you
More than words can say
I showed you how to love someone
I know you'll find a way

Say goodbye, close your eyes
Remember me
Walk away, the sun remains
Remember me
Be there to watch over you
Remember me
Feel I'm gone
My heart lives on
Remember me

Don't you think of this as the end
I'll come into your dreams
Remember me

Close your eyes
Say goodbye
Remember me
Say you will (3x) (Close Your Eyes)

Remember Me
Say You Will (3x) (Say GoodBye)

Remember Me

1143718  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2011-11-01
Written: (3310 days ago)

to: [Fallen Child Athena] with lost of love
from: wolf

I'm not a woman, I'm not a man
I am something that you'll never understand
I'll never beat you, I'll never lie
And if you're evil, I'll forgive you by and by

You, I would die 4 u, yeah
Darling, if you want me too
You, I would die 4 u

I'm not your lover, I'm not your friend
I am something that you'll never comprehend
No need to worry, no need to cry
I'm your messiah and you're the reason why

'Cause you, I would die 4 u, yeah
Darling, if you want me too
You, I would die 4 u

You're just a sinner I am told
Be your fire when you're cold
Make you happy when you're sad
Make you good when you are bad

I'm not a human, I am a dove
I'm your conscious, I am love
All I really need is to know
That you believe

Yeah, I would die 4 u, yeah
Darling, if you want me too
You, I would die 4 u

Yeah, say one more time

You, I would die 4 u
Darling, if you want me too
You, I would die 4 u

2 3 4 u, I would die 4 u
I would die 4 u
You, I would die 4 u

1143714  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2011-11-01
Written: (3310 days ago)

im done with it all
im donr with my mom cursing everything i do
im done with the fighting
i cant take it anymore, im atmy wits end
im done with all of it

1143629  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2011-10-30
Written: (3312 days ago)

Two feets they come a creepin'
Like a black cat do
And two bodies are layin' naked
Creeper think he got nothin' to lose
So he creeps into this house, yeah
And unlocks the door
And as a man's reaching for his trousers
Shoots him full of .38 holes

(Chorus)
Mr.Saturday night special
Got a barrel that's blue and cold
Ain't no good for nothin'
But put a man six feet in a hole

Big Jim's been drinkin' whiskey
And playing poker on a losin' night
And pretty soon, Big Jim starts a thinkin'
Somebody been cheatin' and lyin'
So Big Jim commences to fightin'
I wouldn't tell you no lie
And Big Jim done pull his pistol
Shot his friend right between the eyes

(Chorus)

Oooh Saturday night special...
For twenty dollars you can buy yourself one too...

Oooh let me tell you all about it...

Well hand guns are made for killin'
They ain't no good for nothin' else
And if you like to drink your whiskey
You might even shoot yourself
So why don't we dump 'em people
To the bottom of the sea
Before some ole fool come around here
Wanna shoot either you or me

(Chorus)

Ooooh it's a Saturday night special
And I'd like to tell you what you can do with it too...

1143620  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2011-10-30
Written: (3313 days ago)

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over
I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Now I know I'm being used
That's okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
That's okay cause I've got no self esteem

We make plans to go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
All this rejection's got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so

When she's saying that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care Right?

Now I'll relate this a little bit
That happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
Drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no
But that's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb
But I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem

1143417  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2011-10-24
Written: (3318 days ago)

I never thought I'd feel this
Guilty and I'm broken down inside
Livin' with myself nothing but lies

I always thought I'd make it
But never knew I'd let it get so bad
Livin' with myself is all I have

I feel numb
I can't come to life
I feel like I'm frozen in time

Livin' in a world so cold, wasting away
Livin' in a shell with no soul since you've gone away
Livin' in a world so cold, counting the days
Since you've gone away, you've gone away

Do you ever feel me?
Do you ever look deep down inside
Starin' at yourself, paralyzed?

I feel numb
I can't come to life
I feel like I'm frozen in time

Livin' in a world so cold, wasting away
Livin' in a shell with no soul since you've gone away
Livin' in a world so cold, counting the days
Since you've gone away, you've gone away from me

I'm too young to lose my soul
I'm too young to feel this old
So long, I'm left behind
I feel like I'm losing my mind

Do you ever feel me?
Do you ever look deep down inside
Starin' at your life, paralyzed?

Livin' in a world so cold, wasting away
Livin' in a shell with no soul since you've gone away
Livin' in a world so cold, counting the days
Since you've gone away, you've gone away from me

I'm too young
I'm too young

1143323  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2011-10-21
Written: (3321 days ago)

origins...

the war never really affected me or my family, growing up in the outskirts of houston,texas

until i was say, 17 and a half, my dad was a brigodier general with the 14th texas infantry

he found it customary for the eldest boy to join the southern cause, so..as to my fathers orders

i joined the 14th,starting as a drummer boy, moving from seventh detachment to first, as an infantry corporal

my dad was proud of how far i had moved up in the ranks of battle, my first battle was chancellorsville, where i

experienced my first loss, my best friend dell mollit, another corporal, was shot. i was sitting at camp when the general

rode up, loooking at me and jack ezra he said "i need you two to go to gettysburg" i was the one to jump up and say

"yes sir", so we headed off to gettysburg, pennsylvania...in yankee territory, getting there wasnt bad, but lord

almighty...the battle was awful...at least from my perspective, everywhere you look laid dead or dying..both blue and grey

i never realized that this day my life would change forever, as i was promoted to cavalry commander,

taking my fathers place. riding my black stallion named "veska" {our family decended from russia}, i rode the line, rallying the men

waiting for the signal, and soon, it was given, with the mighty rebel yell we advanced, under heavy fire, then suddenly, i felt

something hit my chest, a burning feeling "ive been shot" the concussion knocked me off my horse, and is i stared up at

the sky, i was breathless..


the visitors...

later that night, as i laid amongst the dead of the battle, i heard someone coming, three women.."look at this one chara"

one of them said "no..im looking for an officer" i felt my heart begin to pound heavily..were theygoing to kill me?

"heres one" a younger girl said, her eyes shielded by the dark as she stood over me "whats your name?" m..major j..jasper

d..dellara i stammered and she giggled playfully, as if i said a joke, the others came over, the leader, must have been chara,

kneeled beside me and said "im going to take your pain away" and she bit me..i felt the sting as fire leaked into my

veins, grabbing my throat i yelled in agony..my heart stopped..i was dead..or so it seemed

{to be continued}

 The logged in version 

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