[deamon90002004]'s diary

866495  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-10-23
Written: (4739 days ago)
Next in thread: 866531

girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a

big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that

after dinner, she would like to go out and make love

for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex

before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get

some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and

sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents

house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm

so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

offers to say grace and bows his head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,

with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

girlfriend leans over and whispers to the

boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your

father was a pharmacist."

865869  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-10-21
Written: (4741 days ago)

woooooooohoooooooooo i had a fun day today.....i finally met one of my friends off elfpack [BANG BANG ____] she is cool...and fun...... would love to meet up with her again

863259  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-10-13
Written: (4749 days ago)
Next in thread: 863263, 863438, 864310, 864819

i finally opened up to my ex......i couldnt wait till sunday and we would only have a few mins to talk to i told her on msn

this is the convy

TIGER = ME
STEPH :p = HER

TIGER: since we started talking again properly......i have been constantly thinking about you....your never off my mind..... i even dream about you....i really like you.....we have similar sort of interests although i dont know them all....you make me happy everytime i see you...when you said yes to me asking you out i was even happyer...i could hardly sleep...

TIGER: i find your kisses to be amazing and your hugs just as amazing.....i really had loads of fun on saturday even though it was a short time we got to spend together....i even liked that we were planing ahead on when we could meet and stuff...it made me happy and smile thinking it might last

steph  :p: okay, i dnt mean 2 hurt u bt i dnt feel the same, id prefere it if we were jst mates, im sorry and im really sorry if i hurt u!

863219  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-10-13
Written: (4749 days ago)

ok......dont need people helping anymore......already worked it out....and im meeting her on sunday

862344  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-10-11
Written: (4752 days ago)
Next in thread: 862345, 862436, 862497, 863130, 863216

i have a question for anyone who reads this

i am constantly thinking about my ex and how much i want her back...on thursday i will be sitting next to her for an hour on the way to college....should i tell her how i feel about her now with a text message or should i wait till thursday and tell her face to face.....or not tell her at all?

862172  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-10-10
Written: (4752 days ago)
Next in thread: 862759

now im retarded......black is east........white is up


(im not retarded)

862143  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-10-10
Written: (4752 days ago)

i must have really liked her...cos im constantly thinking about her and dreaming about her, dreaming of her for about 4 days and thinking of her for about 2 weeks.....no matter what i do she is always on my mind....i really want her back.....she made me like super happy and i finally found a girl who lived close and leaves me......i really want her back more than ever :'(

862117  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-10-10
Written: (4752 days ago)
Next in thread: 863365

learn chinese in 5 minutes

u MUST read them out loud)

1. thats not right- sum ting wong
2. are you harbouring a fugitive?- hu yu hai ding
3. stupid man- dum fuk
4. i bumped into a coffee table- ai bang mai fa kin ni
5. i think you need a face lift- chin tu fat
6. i thort you were on a diet- wai yu mun ching
7. your body ordour is offensive- yu stin ki pu
8. great- fa kin su pah
9. dildo- fun toi
10. give me the money- pei nau
11. where is the restroom?- ai pe nau
12. stop teasing me- tat nut fun
13. annoying kid- hit tat boi
14. my friend is a homo- he gai
15. your price is too high- ai no bai dam ting
16. having an early orgasm- kum tu suun
17. saying the same thing- ri pi ting
18. are you horney- yu har dik
19. i get drunk so easy- on li tu
20. lets get outta here- fa kin run
21. look at that ferrari- big boi toi
22. i'm just so horny- ma dik big
23. microsoft sucks- fa kin kom pu da
24. isnt it cold to pee outdoors- wai ju dung so tai nee
25. need the loo- nee tu pu
26. see me ASAP- kum hia nao
27. small horse- tai ne po ni
28. did you go to the beach- wai yu so tan
29. it's very dark in here- wai so dim
30. you are not very bright- yu so dum
31. you're just so stupid- fak yu
32. i am not guilty- wai hang mi

861749  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-10-09
Written: (4753 days ago)
Next in thread: 861791, 862071

ok...so you want to know what's really wrong with me

well i have: -

a mother who is getting over breast cancer and always shouting at me
a father who has depression
friends who shout at me for no reason
friends who are leaving me for no reason
friends who go on random rants that start in the middle and so i dont have a clue what the fuck is going on
i had a gf who i really cared for who lives about 2miles away leave me for the reasons of it wernt working out...and i like someone else (apparently when she said yes...she realised she liked someone else...yet still met up with me the day later then dumped me a day later)
i am having too many problems with my computer...it's pissing me off too much
i have constant aches and pains in my knee's hip and lower back which i cant be assed with
i can hardly sit still (reasons unknown)

so before going on random rants and shouting at me for shit reasons think of what's happening to me at the momment as if i need anymore problems....i know some might seem minor...but still there annoying

861006  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-10-07
Written: (4755 days ago)

maryann was absent for 5days because she had a fever, soar throat, headache, and upset stomach, her sister was also sick, fever, and soar throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over, i wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever, there must be something going around, her father even got hot last night

857822  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-29
Written: (4763 days ago)
857809  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-29
Written: (4764 days ago)
Next in thread: 857911, 860528

This is funny - type out the sentence you end up with in the subject
line and forward to your friends....and also, send it back to the
person that sent it to you.

Pick the month you were born:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I smoked
April--I dry humped
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I did the Macarena with
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a Mexican
6-------a gangster
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19-------myself
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod
29-------a permanent marker
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White----------because I'm cool like that
Black-----------because that's how I roll.
Pink------------because I'm NOT a homosexual.
Red ------------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I hate myself.
Purple---------because I'm cool.
Gray----------because I was drunk
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange-------because I hate my family.
Brown--------because I was high.
Other-------because I'm a ninja.
None--------because I can't control myself

Now type out the sentence you made in the subject line and forward to
your friends. And don't forget to send it back to the person that sent it to
you

856240  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-09-24
Written: (4768 days ago)

Sex


1. Would you be in control?


2. Would you let me pull your hair?


3. Would you whisper in my ear?


4. Would you talk dirty to me?


5. Would you kiss me with a little tongue or a lot of tongue?


6. Would you say my name?


7. Would you go down on me?


8. Would you let me give you a hickie?


9. How many rounds would we go?


10. What would you wanna do afterwards?


11. Would you take off all your clothes then take mine off slowly?


12. Would you lick and bite me all over?


13. Would you like to play or get straight to the point?


14. Would you want me to take my time?


15. How freaky are you, 1 - 10?


16. Would you want me to go fast or slow?


17. Where would you wanna "do it"?


18. Would you be loud or quiet?


19. Would you mind if i liked you?


20. Would you do it today?


21. Would you do it tomorrow?


22. Are you going to re-post these so I can answer them for you?

855552  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-22
Written: (4770 days ago)

im going on holiday for 3days this weekend for like 3days so sunday night i should be back, i dont know what time though, im gonna miss you all

850815  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-09-09
Written: (4783 days ago)

my dad stole me a rubber keyboard from work, its great

847596  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-01
Written: (4791 days ago)
Next in thread: 847601

i remember when i had a little pet lemming i built it a wall so he could hurl his little self off it, then one christmas i put my finger in his cage to give him some mince pie and he bit my finger and he wouldnt let go and in the end there was blood all up my bedroom wall, the little fucker ruined my helicopter wall paper

847149  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-08-31
Written: (4792 days ago)
Next in thread: 847151, 847470, 848459

*goes and dies in a corner*

845727  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-08-28
Written: (4795 days ago)
Next in thread: 845730

im a preppy retard with a big penis



What color of shirt are you wearing?



Red=loud -
Green=stupid -
Blue=innocent -
White= naughty -
Aqua=freaky -
Yellow=skanky -
Purple=a little TOO happy -
Black= emo -
Orange=multicolored -
Gray= preppy -
Pink= horny -
Brown=tree-hugging -
Multicolored= awesome -
Other=candy-flavored -
Nothing= Sexy -


What kind of pants are you wearing?


Shorts=slut -
Skirt=hot piece of ass -
Skort=homo -
Jeans= skater -
Ripped Jeans= prep -
Capris=cutie -
Cordoroy=skank -
Cargo=clown -
Sweats=gangsta -
Thong=whore -
Boxers=manwhore -
Bootieshorts=stripper -
Pajamas=sex kitten -
OTHER =retard -
Nothing=pornstar -



What color is your hair?


blonde= with no brain -
black= with a sexy smile -
dark brown= with beautiful eyes -
red = with a BAD REP -
brunettte = with a nice rack -
dirty blonde= with a hot ass -
brown= with a big penis -
strawberry blonde= that loves cherios -
bald=with herpes...type 2...and bad -
OTHER = who trys to be different -


Now repost this saying "I'm a ___ ___"

845102  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-08-27
Written: (4796 days ago)

<img:http://www.stu.co.uk/b3ta/spork.jpg>

843575  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-08-24
Written: (4800 days ago)
Next in thread: 845362

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.



Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.



Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.



Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!



Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"



Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the
Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.



Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.



Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.



Q.) What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

842521  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-08-22
Written: (4801 days ago)
Next in thread: 842522

LAYER ONE
-- Name: adam boden
-- Birthdate:14th march 1989
-- Birthplace: stoke on trent
-- Current my house
-- Eye color: blue/green
-- Height:about 6ft 2
-- Righty or lefty: right



LAYER TWO
-- Your heritage:english
-- The shoes you wore today:vans
-- Your weakness:dunno
-- Your fears:spiders, random noises in the dark, or thinking of weird things in the dark
--Your perfect pizza:just give me a plain
-- Goal you'd like to achieve:i have one really big goal, and dont want to say it




LAYER THREE
-- Your most overused words or phrase:aww, lol, ok, meh
-- Your thoughts first waking up: what time is it?
-- Your best feature:people say my smille, i dunno
-- Your bedtime:when ever
-- Your most missed memory:i dunno, cos if i forgot the memory i wont remember it




LAYER FOUR
-- Soda:anything
-- Fast food joint:the fish and chip shop down my road
-- Single or group dates:i like single mainly, but cool to do double
-- Adidas or Nike: fuck no cos its wank
-- Chocolate or vanilla:nether... strawberry
-- Cappuccino or coffee: neither




LAYER FIVE
-- Smoke:did
-- Sing:no
-- Take a shower every day:no shower in this house
--Have a crush(es):yes
-- Do you think you've been in love:yeah
-- Want to go to college:im in college
-- Like high school:hated it
-- Want to get married:yes i do
-- Believe in yourself:yes
-- Get motion sickness:sometimes
-- Get along with your parents:sometimes
-- Like thunderstorms:yes
-- Play an instrument:guitar




LAYER SIX
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: yes
-- Smoked:no
-- Done a drug:no
-- Gone to the mall:no
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos:no
-- Eaten sushi:no
-- Been on stage:no
-- Made homemade cookies:no
-- Dyed your hair:no
-- Stolen anything:nope




LAYER SEVEN
Ever...
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated:no
-- Been caught doing something:no
-- Gotten beaten up:no
-- Shoplifted:no
-- Changed who you were to fit in:no






LAYER EIGHT
-- Age you hope to be married: dunno, in my 20's maybe
-- Numbers and names of children: dunno, probs two, and dont know
-- Describe your dream wedding:dunno
-- How do you want to die: asleep
-- What do you want to be when you grow up:mechanic
-- What country would you most like to visit:america




LAYER NINE
In a Girl/Boy...
-- Best eye color:any
-- Best hair color:dont matter
-- Short or long hair:either, as long as they dont look like a guy
-- Height:dont matter aslong as not too tall
-- Best first date location:anything
-- Best first kiss location:anywhere




LAYER TEN
-- Number of drugs taken illegally:1
-- Number of people I could trust with my life:a few
-- Number of CDs that I own:about 3
-- Number of piercings:1
-- Number of tattoes:none yet
-- Number of scars on my body:about 12 at leaste

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