[deamon90002004]'s diary

802525  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-06-03
Written: (5385 days ago)
Next in thread: 802543, 802544, 803018, 803019

just for a bit of fun

Hot or Not?

0 = ewwwwwwwwwwww!
1 = Definetly not attractive.
2 = Decent
3 = Cute
4 = Fine as heck!
5 = I'd do you.
7 = Lovable, I LOVE YOU!!!
8 = I wanna make you my man/girl.
9 = Just a friend.
10 = Sexiest person I know!
11 = 'effin hottie!
12 = Ya, I've checked you out a few times.
13 = lets Make Out!!
14 = I'd hit it!!


802032  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-06-02
Written: (5386 days ago)

know we haven't known each other for long time and I really shouldn't be asking you for this but I want it so bad don't get me wrong it's just that I haven't had it for a long time I could already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft and wet. No one has to know about this, I'm desperate, but your help can be very grateful you must think I have a lot of nerve asking you for this but i can feel my tongue around it sucking all the juice out until there no more left, this has been on my mind all day long and I hope I'm not being forward but..........................
can I have a piece of chewin gum?

801906  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-06-02
Written: (5386 days ago)
Next in thread: 801908

Name : Adam
B-Day : March 14
Age : 17
Eye Color : Green/blue
Hair Color : dark brown
Height : 6ft 2"
Best Feature : i dont know, people will have to say
Shoe Size : im from a british 8 to a british 10, and an american 9 to american 11
Ring Size : i dont know
Addictions : talking on the net
Pets : 1 dog
Piercings : none
Tattoos : none
Nickname : boner (dont ask) and boden or boner boden
Car : peugeot 106 1.5 diesel lol
Parents still together : yes
Siblings : 1 brother
Live with Parents? : yes
Favorite/Most Important
Feature of the opposite sex : honestly im not really bothered about that aslong as they dont weight more than me
Spot to be kissed : i dunno, anywhere
Sports Team : dont do sports
Holiday : i dunno, i never do anything at them anyway
Alcoholic Drink : budweiser, carling, carlsberg, fosters
Non-Alcoholic Drink : i will drink pretty much anything
Quote : i always tend to say blow me or bite me alot
Lesson Learned : i dunno, depends what i did on the day
Thing a friend has done for you : got me into guitar and now im a music junkie lol
Thing you have done for a friend : been there for them when they need to talk
Baby names (girl) : i dunno
Baby names (boy) : i dunno
Ben & Jerry's Flavor : dunno what that is
Starbucks Drink : i dont go there its a ripoff
Season : any, cos im cool all year round
Have You Ever
Wished on a star : no
Been in love : yes
Been out of the country : yes, been to france and florida (im in the UK)
Talked on the phone all night : 7long hours or more :'(
Bungee jumped : no
Driven cross-country : no
Had surgery : had my tonsils out and gromits that it
Been told you might die : no
Told someone you love them : yes
Wished you HAD told someone you loved them : i want to right now but its not the right time
Asked someone out : yes loads
Kissed someone (made the first move) : dunno
As a child, had a skip-it : whats one of them?
What about a sock-em-bop : dunno what one is
Kissed the same sex : no
Gone out in public with you PJ's on : have done to put things at the end of the drive
Laughed so hard that a liquid came out of your nose : yeah and it burns
Had sex in a car : no
Past Relationships
Who is the person you last broke up with :anna
How long did you date that person : a month and a week
Was it love : was till we stopped talking
Did you have sex with them : no
Were they older/younger : older
Were they shorter/taller : shorter
Have you had other boy/girlfriends? : no
Any you wish you could talk to : i talk to the one person who i love the most everyday
Any you hate : i hate one of my ex's
Current Relationship
Do you have a boy/girlfriend : no
Where did you meet :
How long have you been together :
What is your anniversary date :
What is his/her full name :
Were you attracted to them from the first moment you saw them : no
Do you trust him/her :
Have you cheated on him/her :
Is it love : 
What's his/her favorite meal : 
What's his/her favorite band :
High School
Public/Private : public
Best Friend : dave harvey
Boy/GirlFriend : laura
Job : didnt have one as such, i had a paper round lol
Prom Date : never had one cos i never went
Best Memory : i dunno
Worst Memory : i dunno
Graduate(?) : 2005
Leave a virgin : yes :(
This or That
Strawberries/Blueberries : Strawberries
Meat/Veggie : either
TV/Movie : either
Hugs/Kisses : both
Guitar/Drums : guitar
Chinese/Mexican : neither
Day/Night : either
Cheerios/Corn Flakes : dunno
Snickers/MilkyWay : snickers
Gold/Silver : i like either
Black/Brown : black
Elvis/Beatles : none
Sprinkles/Icing : both please?
Cookie/Donut : i like either
Cake/Pie : both
Coke/Pepsi : either
am : weird
thought : she loved me but then she left me
need : a gf who lives near
want : a job
love : some one
hate : a few people
wish I was : somewhere else
will always : love Kay

801396  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-06-01
Written: (5387 days ago)
Next in thread: 801901

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bit**."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bit**?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bit**."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)


Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BIT**!!!"

Repost if you laughed

800840  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-31
Written: (5388 days ago)

reason two no longer exsists yay

800520  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-05-30
Written: (5389 days ago)
800506  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-05-30
Written: (5389 days ago)
Next in thread: 800804

if anyone wants to know how i feel this is how i feel

a peice of shit,

reason one, i told my ex she still has my heart cos she said she didnt have one no more, i refused to have it back cos i still love her, she said if you dont take it back i will chuck it away, so i still refused and she threw it away and i burst into tears, then she started cutting so i cried more

reason two, i upset a really nice friend, by accident, and i really liked her as a friend, and when we were talking (me and her) i felt warm, now i feel dead

reason 3, this time last year i was going out with somone for the 1st month, and it lasted 5 months, so when she left me in september i was deperessed and wanted to die for two months, i got better with the aid of talking to people on the net, and for a week or so all i can think about is her just before i go bed so it fucks up my sleeping pattern, i wake up every 3 hours depressed, my depression lasts for like 2hours then im ok, then depressed just before i go to bed

799991  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-05-30
Written: (5390 days ago)

[Lady Lucifer] wrote this i thought it was really sad

One day two lovers were driving down a deserted road. The guy had said something rude earlier to the girl and had hurt her feelings. Both were still upset. But soon, the guy couldn’t stand it anymore and taking a deep breath he apologized to the girl. The girl relaxed but was still upset so didn’t look the guy in the eye, she continually fiddled with her fingers looking down. The guy wanted deeply for the girl to forgive him. So he reached across to the girl and grabbed her hand saying he was sorry and that he loved her. In the few seconds the guy took his eyes off the road the car slowly slid off into a small ditch. They both looked up and the guy steered back onto the road in a panic and the girl grabbed her seat. The boy lost his cool and slammed on the breaks sending the car rolling. The car rolled five times and stopped on it’s back.
Neither the girl nor the guy had had their seatbelts on. But the guy had turned the car just right that it flipped onto his side. Sending the girl right into his grasp and he held her tight. The girl opened her eyes and screamed at the searing pain in her side. In desperation she managed to push the door open. In the growing darkness she called the guys name. He moaned letting her know where he was. With great difficulty she pulled the boy out of the wreck and away from the small fire. Breathing with difficulty the boy told her he was sorry and it was all his fault. The girl told him otherwise and kissed his forehead wiping away the blood on his face. She repeatedly asked if he was ok but when she did he clutched her tighter to him.
Blood stained tears rolled down her face, she new he would die. Deep inside of her she knew she had no chance without his love. Setting him down and ignoring his cry for her she crawled for a piece of broken glass. Quickly the girl moved back to him and held him.
He asked her over and over what she was doing. Finally in a whispered tone she told him.
“I could never live without you, you are my life and my love, my world and my happiness. If you go I go”
The girl kissed the boy deeply and slit her own wrists. Then she laid down beside him. She chanted his name and told him now much she loved him.

The ambulance had been called and got there in time to save the boy, for the girl it was too late.
Two weeks after the girl died the boy was found dead laying next to her grave with a note in his hand.
“I won’t be able to live without her, nor her love, she was my life, my love, my world and my happiness, she died therefore I must be with her.”

799205  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-05-28
Written: (5391 days ago)
Next in thread: 799780

Sainsbury's condoms......makin life taste better!

Tesco condoms......every little helps!

Nike condoms......just do it!

Galaxy condoms.......why have rubber when you can have silk?

KFC condoms.......finger lickin' good!

Skittles condoms.......taste the rainbow!

Minstrels condoms.......melt in your mouth not in your hand!

Abbey National condoms......coz life's complicated enough!

Coca Cola condoms........always the real thing!

Duracell condoms.......keep going and going!

pringles condoms.......once you pop you carnt stop!

Burger King condoms.......the home of the big woopper!

Muller light condoms......so much pleasure,wheres the pain?!

Andrex condoms........soft,strong n very long!

Renault condoms.......when size really does matter!

Domestos condoms......get's right under your head!

Pepperami condoms.......its a bit of an animal!

Polo condoms..........the one wid the hole!

Co-op condoms......... we work harder, so u dnt have to

797112  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-05-23
Written: (5396 days ago)
Next in thread: 797113

omigawsh read this it is crazy !

Take my hand
Off we go
To the room
Shut the door
Hit the lights
Grab me close
Raise me up
Kiss me slow
Lips tongues touch
In a dance
I’m turned on
By your glance
Hands slide up
To my neck
In my hair
Pull me back
Trail your lips
Down the path
One plus one
Do the math
One kiss here
One lick there
Two hard nipples
Equals wet underwear
Lick me slow
Suck you deep
Make me cum
Till I’m asleep
Lose your pants
Take my shirt
Nipples so hard
That they hurt
Slide my panties
With your teeth
Not just wet
But soft heat
Take your dick
In my hands
Better get ready
I’ve got plans
Raise me up
Over your face
Put your tongue
In that place
Spread me open
Part my lips
While I kiss
On your hips
Take you in
I’m open wide
You taste me
I’m so high
Suck your tip
Flick my clit
This sixty nine
Is so exquisite
Take you deeper
Make me moan
Feel my lips
At your bone
Tongue me softly
Feel my flow
Now how fast
Can I go
Back and forth
Up and down
Swirl your tongue
Round and round
Feel you all
In my depth
Can’t seem to
Catch my breath
Stroke your shaft
Hit my spot
Make you harder
Make me hot
While you search
Seek to find
The pleasure in
This tongue grind
I’m taking you
All the way
Through the night
Into the day
I’m getting close
To the end
But I’m getting
My second wind
Suck you smooth
Jack you tight
All that cum
Is mine tonight
You’re getting tense
Back is arched
Throat is dry
Now I’m parched
I can’t wait
For another minute
Cum for me
Give me it
That’s it, baby
Give to me
Let it go
Set it free
Oh my God
What’ve you done?
Baby now I’m
About to cum
Ooh don’t stop
I can’t believe
We’ve cum together



1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering
dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of
euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the
opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and
lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever

794972  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-05-19
Written: (5400 days ago)

Little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I setup a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to accept a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male

Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, and Blowjob?
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"

Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the
Pillsbury Dough
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.

Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're

792373  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-05-14
Written: (5405 days ago)

[92% percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you are one of the 8% who would be laughing your ass off.]

791770  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-05-13
Written: (5406 days ago)
Next in thread: 791771

Type Your Name With Your...

Thumbs Together: adam

Nose: adam

Elbow: adam

Tounge: adam

Chin: adam

Foot: adam

Eyes closed and one finger: adam

Back of your hand: adam

Palm: adam

Mouse: adam

Wrist: adam

Big Toe: adam

Forehead: ad mjn

791347  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-05-12
Written: (5407 days ago)
Next in thread: 791532, 791607

*Facts Of Life*
1.At Least 1 Person In This World Loves You So Much They Would Die For You.

2.At Least 5 People In This World Loves You,In Some Way.

3.The Only Reason Anyone Would Ever Hate You,Is Because They Want To Be Just Like You Or Are Too Narrow-Minded To See That They Would Rather Be Like You.

4.A Smile From You,Can Bring Happiness To Anyone,Even If They Don't Like You.

5.Every Night,Someone Thinks About You Before They Go To Sleep.

6.You Mean The World To Someone.

7.Without You,Someone May Not Be Living. [not bragging but this one is true i have made people feel cared about that they stopped thinking about it]

8.You Are Special And Unique,In Your Own Way.

9.Some That You Don't Know Even Exists,Loves You.

10.When You Make The Biggest Mistake Ever,Something Good Comes From It.

11.When You Think The World Has Turned Its Back On You,Take A Look,You Most Likely Turned Your Back On The World.

12.When You Think You Have No Chance At Getting What You Want,You Probably Won't Get It,But If You Believe In Yourself,You Probably Sooner Or Later Will Get It.

13.Always Remember Compliments You Received,Forget About The Rude Remarks.

14.Always Tell Someone How You Feel,Then They'll Know.

15.If You Have A Great Friend,Take The Time To Let Them Know That They're Great.

16.The Most Vaulable Things In This Life Cost Nothing.

17.Laugh And You Will Never Laugh Alone.

18.Always Be Kind To People When Your On An Up,Because You'll Meet Them Again On The Way Down.

19.When Everyone Walks Out Of Your Life,Someone else Will Walk Into It.

20.No One Can Ever Take Your Place.

787486  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-03
Written: (5416 days ago)

someone please shoot me through the heart? oh no wait what heart, i gave it to my gf, and i dont think she has returned it

787479  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-03
Written: (5416 days ago)

well what can i say, the person i loved the most in the world has just left me and im really upset :'(, i really do love her, and i thought she loved me too, but im sadly wrong, i love her to peices and my heart is going to take a whille for it to get back to normal, Kay if you read this i still love you, well thats all i have to say, and oh yeah dont worry i dont cut or anything, so please dont worry about me?

777710  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-04-14
Written: (5435 days ago)

Body: Month One
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three
You know what Mommy, I'm a girl !! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. he is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never
see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak

If you're against abortion, repost this.

772423  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-04-02
Written: (5447 days ago)

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and
ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the
top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff
or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

770667  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-29
Written: (5451 days ago)
Next in thread: 771377

this is funny....>



several years ago the united states funded a studie to dertermine the head of a mans penis is larger than the shaft.

the study took two years and costs over $180.000 the result of the study concluded that the reason the head of a mans penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the *MAN* with more pleasure in sex.

after the results were published germany decided to conduct their own study on the same subject.convinced that the results of the U.S. study were incorrect.

After three years of research and a cost in excess of $250,000 they concluded that the reason the ehad of a mans penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.

when the results of the german study were released polland decided to conduct their own study.the polland didnt really trust the U.S. or german studies.

so after nearly three weeks of invasive research and a cost of $75, the pollish study was compleat:
[The pollish study came to the conclusion that the reason the head of a mans penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand for flying off and hitting you in the forehead!]

770666  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-29
Written: (5451 days ago)

"you kno the world is goin crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the nba is chinese, the swiss hold the america's cup, france is accusing the us of arrogance, germany doesnt want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in america are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' need i say more" - chris rock

770134  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-03-28
Written: (5452 days ago)

[4 all of u who use myspace read this and b glad it aint real]

You'd have a friend named Tom creepily following you around giving you bad news constantly.

At nights when you are asleep you would get people running in your room that you don't know saying. "It's 4 a.m., I can't sleep, someone talk to me."

Anytime you walk into someones house they have the same video or song playing all the time, non-stop for three months straight.

You would look your very best at all times.

There would be a lot of youthful looking 99 year olds.

Most people would walk around with a full size mirror 2 feet in front of them.

Your driver's license would have hearts around your name or quote from an emo song.

Blogs would be required reading and any random thought in your head would be shared with everyone.

People would inexplicably be stuck in their homes for hours unable to communicate with the out side world because some asshole put up a large white wall in front of every door and window with a note attached saying "Sorry but an unexpected error has occurred."

Tila Tequila would know everyone in the whole world.

19 year old boys wouldn't own shirts and 19 year old girls would not own pants.

If you're a fat girl, people would only see you from the shoulders up.

People would be able to photoshop out pimples on their face.

Girls would always be posing, cheeks sucked in and lips puckered two feet off their face.

All females are bi and all males drive import muscle cars.

The phrases "Yo," "your hawt," or "hit me back some time" would attract the opposite sex.

Everyone would make $100,000 a year or higher.

There would be alot of underage strippers in the world.

Forbidden would actually be hot.

It wouldn't be odd to have Brad Pitt in your circle of friends.

Hello Kitty would be a real person.

During a long conversation you'd have to say "Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: all right, well call me later."

When it was time for bed you would say you're "Undergoing Maintenance."

You would have to paint your walls using Thomas Myspace Editor codes in your apartment.

When someone said something funny, you'd actually roll around on the floor and laugh your fucking ass off.

"Friend Whoring" is equal to STD's.

"Fuckin MySpace!" is the only universally known term in any language to show anger.

People would run up to you, tell you a random message, and you'd have 17 minutes and 13 seconds to pass it along before a ghost came to your house and raped your dog.
 The logged in version 

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