Little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I setup a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to accept a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male
Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, and Blowjob?
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a
blowjob.
Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.
Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.
Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"
Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the
Pillsbury Dough
Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.
Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're
screwed.
[92% percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you are one of the 8% who would be laughing your ass off.]
Type Your Name With Your...
Thumbs Together: adam
Nose: adam
Elbow: adam
Tounge: adam
Chin: adam
Foot: adam
Eyes closed and one finger: adam
Back of your hand: adam
Palm: adam
Mouse: adam
Wrist: adam
Big Toe: adam
Forehead: ad mjn
someone please shoot me through the heart? oh no wait what heart, i gave it to my gf, and i dont think she has returned it
well what can i say, the person i loved the most in the world has just left me and im really upset :'(, i really do love her, and i thought she loved me too, but im sadly wrong, i love her to peices and my heart is going to take a whille for it to get back to normal, Kay if you read this i still love you, well thats all i have to say, and oh yeah dont worry i dont cut or anything, so please dont worry about me?
Body: Month One
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three
You know what Mommy, I'm a girl !! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Month Four
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.
Month Five
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!
Month Seven
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. he is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never
see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak
If you're against abortion, repost this.
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and
ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the
top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff
or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
this is funny....>
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[{{{THE TRUTH BEHIND THE PENIS}}}]
several years ago the united states funded a studie to dertermine the head of a mans penis is larger than the shaft.
the study took two years and costs over $180.000 the result of the study concluded that the reason the head of a mans penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the *MAN* with more pleasure in sex.
after the results were published germany decided to conduct their own study on the same subject.convin
After three years of research and a cost in excess of $250,000 they concluded that the reason the ehad of a mans penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.
when the results of the german study were released polland decided to conduct their own study.the polland didnt really trust the U.S. or german studies.
so after nearly three weeks of invasive research and a cost of $75, the pollish study was compleat:
[The pollish study came to the conclusion that the reason the head of a mans penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand for flying off and hitting you in the forehead!]
"you kno the world is goin crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the nba is chinese, the swiss hold the america's cup, france is accusing the us of arrogance, germany doesnt want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in america are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' need i say more" - chris rock
A bloke goes into a supermarket and buys:
* one tin of beans
* one bag of crisps
* one pack of burgers
* one tub of icecream
* one cake
* one yoghurt
* one pint of milk.
He takes them over to the checkout, and the girl looks at what he has bought and asks if he is single.
The bloke says sarcastically, "Yes. However how did you guess?"
The girl replies: "You're an ugly bastard."
POST YOUR ZODIAC SIGN OR YOU WILL GET BAD LUCK!!!!
SAGITTARIUS
Spontaneous.
Horny.
Freak in Bed.
High sex appeal.
Rare to find.
Great when found.
Loves being in long relationships.
*PISCES*
Caring.
Smart.
Center of attention.
Too Sexy, DAMN IT.
Very high sex appeal.
Has the last word.
Extremely nice to the person they love
Super good in bed
Always day dreaming
GEMINI
Nice.
Love is one of a kind.
Great listeners
Very Good in bed.
Lover not a fighter, but will still punch your lights out.
Trustworthy.
Always horny.
Soooooo SEXYY
Talkative.
Outgoing
Crazy
CANCER
Great Kisser.
Very high sex appeal.
Great in bed
Most horny.
Love is one of a kind.
Very romantic.
Most caring person you will ever meet!
Very Kinky, sex is always on mind
LIBRA
Very gentle.
Very romantic.
Nice.
Love is one of a kind.
Silly and fun, sweet!
Have own unique sexiness.
Most caring person you will ever meet!
AmAzInG n BeD..!!!
CAPRICORN
Sassy.
Intelligent.
Sexy.
Predict future.
Irrestible, awesome kisser.
Great talker.
Always gets what he or she wants.
BY FAR the BEST in BED.
AQUARIUS
Trustworthy.
Sexy.
One of a kind.
Loves being in long-term relationships.
Extremely energetic.
unpredictable.
from the future.
will exceed your expectations.
Amazing in bed, THE BEST LOVERS.
Secretly Jealous
ARIES
Outgoing.
Spontanious.
Not one to fuck with.
Erotic.
Funny.
Take you on trips to the moon in bed.
sexy
damn good in bed
TAURUS
Aggressive.
Flirtatious
Freak in bed.
Rare to find!
Loves being in long relationships.
Likes to give a good fight for what they want.
Extremely outgoing.
Outstanding kisser.
Sexual as fuck.
No one to miss with.
LEO
Great talker.
Sexy.
Always Horny.
Laid back.
Knows how to have fun.
Is really good at fucking.
Great kisser.
Center of attention.
Outgoing.
Down to earth.
Addictive.
Attractive.
Loud.
Loves being in long relationships.
Talkative.
Not one to mess with.
Rare to find.
Good when found.
*VIRGO
*Dominant in relationships.
*Sexy.
*Always horny
*Freak in bed.
*Always wants the last word.
*Caring.
*Smart.
*Addictive.
*Attractive.
*Loud.
*Loyal.
SCORPIO
EXTREMELY sexy.
Energetic.
Predict future.
Most erotic.
Freak in bed.
GREAT kisser.
Not one to mess with
hehe im naked lol and i dont give a fuck, only have my gf on cam lol