ET: Member blog

[deamon90002004]'s diary

772423 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2006-04-02
Written: (5496 days ago)

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and
ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the
top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff
or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

770667 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-29
Written: (5500 days ago)

Next in thread: 771377

this is funny....>

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[{{{THE TRUTH BEHIND THE PENIS}}}]

several years ago the united states funded a studie to dertermine the head of a mans penis is larger than the shaft.

the study took two years and costs over $180.000 the result of the study concluded that the reason the head of a mans penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the *MAN* with more pleasure in sex.

after the results were published germany decided to conduct their own study on the same subject.convinced that the results of the U.S. study were incorrect.

After three years of research and a cost in excess of $250,000 they concluded that the reason the ehad of a mans penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.

when the results of the german study were released polland decided to conduct their own study.the polland didnt really trust the U.S. or german studies.

so after nearly three weeks of invasive research and a cost of $75, the pollish study was compleat:
[The pollish study came to the conclusion that the reason the head of a mans penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand for flying off and hitting you in the forehead!]

770666 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-29
Written: (5500 days ago)

"you kno the world is goin crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the nba is chinese, the swiss hold the america's cup, france is accusing the us of arrogance, germany doesnt want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in america are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' need i say more" - chris rock

770134 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2006-03-28
Written: (5501 days ago)

[4 all of u who use myspace read this and b glad it aint real]

You'd have a friend named Tom creepily following you around giving you bad news constantly.

At nights when you are asleep you would get people running in your room that you don't know saying. "It's 4 a.m., I can't sleep, someone talk to me."

Anytime you walk into someones house they have the same video or song playing all the time, non-stop for three months straight.

You would look your very best at all times.

There would be a lot of youthful looking 99 year olds.

Most people would walk around with a full size mirror 2 feet in front of them.

Your driver's license would have hearts around your name or quote from an emo song.

Blogs would be required reading and any random thought in your head would be shared with everyone.

People would inexplicably be stuck in their homes for hours unable to communicate with the out side world because some asshole put up a large white wall in front of every door and window with a note attached saying "Sorry but an unexpected error has occurred."

Tila Tequila would know everyone in the whole world.

19 year old boys wouldn't own shirts and 19 year old girls would not own pants.

If you're a fat girl, people would only see you from the shoulders up.

People would be able to photoshop out pimples on their face.

Girls would always be posing, cheeks sucked in and lips puckered two feet off their face.

All females are bi and all males drive import muscle cars.

The phrases "Yo," "your hawt," or "hit me back some time" would attract the opposite sex.

Everyone would make $100,000 a year or higher.

There would be alot of underage strippers in the world.

Forbidden would actually be hot.

It wouldn't be odd to have Brad Pitt in your circle of friends.

Hello Kitty would be a real person.

During a long conversation you'd have to say "Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: all right, well call me later."

When it was time for bed you would say you're "Undergoing Maintenance."

You would have to paint your walls using Thomas Myspace Editor codes in your apartment.

When someone said something funny, you'd actually roll around on the floor and laugh your fucking ass off.

"Friend Whoring" is equal to STD's.

"Fuckin MySpace!" is the only universally known term in any language to show anger.

People would run up to you, tell you a random message, and you'd have 17 minutes and 13 seconds to pass it along before a ghost came to your house and raped your dog.

766391 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-22
Written: (5508 days ago)

Next in thread: 766424

A bloke goes into a supermarket and buys:

* one tin of beans
* one bag of crisps
* one pack of burgers
* one tub of icecream
* one cake
* one yoghurt
* one pint of milk.

He takes them over to the checkout, and the girl looks at what he has bought and asks if he is single.

The bloke says sarcastically, "Yes. However how did you guess?"

The girl replies: "You're an ugly bastard."

764005 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2006-03-16
Written: (5513 days ago)

POST YOUR ZODIAC SIGN OR YOU WILL GET BAD LUCK!!!!

SAGITTARIUS
Spontaneous.
Horny.
Freak in Bed.
High sex appeal.
Rare to find.
Great when found.
Loves being in long relationships.

*PISCES*
Caring.
Smart.
Center of attention.
Too Sexy, DAMN IT.
Very high sex appeal.
Has the last word.
Extremely nice to the person they love
Super good in bed
Always day dreaming

GEMINI
Nice.
Love is one of a kind.
Great listeners
Very Good in bed.
Lover not a fighter, but will still punch your lights out.
Trustworthy.
Always horny.
Soooooo SEXYY
Talkative.
Outgoing
Crazy

CANCER
Great Kisser.
Very high sex appeal.
Great in bed
Most horny.
Love is one of a kind.
Very romantic.
Most caring person you will ever meet!
Very Kinky, sex is always on mind

LIBRA
Very gentle.
Very romantic.
Nice.
Love is one of a kind.
Silly and fun, sweet!
Have own unique sexiness.
Most caring person you will ever meet!
AmAzInG n BeD..!!!

CAPRICORN
Sassy.
Intelligent.
Sexy.
Predict future.
Irrestible, awesome kisser.
Great talker.
Always gets what he or she wants.
BY FAR the BEST in BED.

AQUARIUS
Trustworthy.
Sexy.
One of a kind.
Loves being in long-term relationships.
Extremely energetic.
unpredictable.
from the future.
will exceed your expectations.
Amazing in bed, THE BEST LOVERS.
Secretly Jealous

ARIES
Outgoing.
Spontanious.
Not one to fuck with.
Erotic.
Funny.
Take you on trips to the moon in bed.
sexy
damn good in bed

TAURUS
Aggressive.
Flirtatious
Freak in bed.
Rare to find!
Loves being in long relationships.=)
Likes to give a good fight for what they want.
Extremely outgoing.
Outstanding kisser.
Sexual as fuck.
No one to miss with.

LEO
Great talker.
Sexy.
Always Horny.
Laid back.
Knows how to have fun.
Is really good at fucking.
Great kisser.
Center of attention.
Outgoing.
Down to earth.
Addictive.
Attractive.
Loud.
Loves being in long relationships.
Talkative.
Not one to mess with.
Rare to find.
Good when found.

*VIRGO
*Dominant in relationships.
*Sexy.
*Always horny
*Freak in bed.
*Always wants the last word.
*Caring.
*Smart.
*Addictive.
*Attractive.
*Loud.
*Loyal.

SCORPIO
EXTREMELY sexy.
Energetic.
Predict future.
Most erotic.
Freak in bed.
GREAT kisser.
Not one to mess with

750112 Link to this entry
Written about Friday 2006-02-17
Written: (5540 days ago)

Next in thread: 750297

hehe im naked lol and i dont give a fuck, only have my gf on cam lol

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