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Page name: The Jessica Hetz Memorial [Logged in view] [RSS]
2009-09-02 23:34:59
Last author: ~Crimson Angel~
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July 11th, 1990 - Febuary 23rd, 2009



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This page is for Jessica Hetz aka [Eloura]. She was a Great friend, sister, and daughter (I'm sure of it!). Fun to be around with, she could always make you smile, and she was always caring and kind. She was a one of a kind, and still is. Monday Night (Febuary 23rd, 2009) she had a blood clot that the doctors removed too late and she passed away, she will be greatly missed and she will remain in our hearts forever and always!



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The Jessica Hetz Memorial Guestbook

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2009-04-12 [~★~ gone~★~]: I'm fake?

2009-04-12 [Iruvielle]: please, don't start a fight in here.
if you need to discuss things, or fight things out, do so in private messaging.

2009-04-12 [~★~ gone~★~]: I'm not going to fight because I told her how I felt in a message and blocked her so she needs to stop the crap....I was a friend of Jess's and if she needs to she can cell gram or Jess's mom and ask if I was there...Ask Matt [Hiarhu]...They'll all tell I was there because I got a hug from Luna and Shelby...

2009-04-14 [Desi the Red Rose]: I know that you were at the view. But i still dont think you are doing right by doing what you did to Jess. To me, i wish you have died instead of my sister. But then again, Only the good die young.

2009-04-14 [~★~ gone~★~]: Just leave me alone I don't want this

2009-04-15 [Desi the Red Rose]: Either do I.

2009-04-15 [Kitailec]: |: You think she'd want this?
You're preaching that it's not right and so forth, but in something in memory of her, you're disgracing her.
Both of you.
That's hypocritical.
She was a dear friend of your's. Respect that.
Though you two have differences, this is definitely not the place to show it.

2009-04-16 [Desi the Red Rose]: Forgive me for my rudeness. That is true, my sister would not want me to fight.

2009-04-18 [~Crimson Angel~]: Yes, it's true, so please don't start anything, I know we're still upset she's gone and tensions are high, but please.

2009-04-18 [~★~ gone~★~]: I'm sorry I'll leave so she'll stop with her rampage...And Jess knows I miss her and care for her.. I've been to her grave many a times..

2009-04-18 [Desi the Red Rose]: Like i have. She was my sister, i miss my Ellie. All the damn times i had with her. I couldn't tell you all the stories from over the damn years.

2009-04-19 [~Crimson Angel~]: I'm sure one day me and you could sit down together and I could spend all day with you as you tell me thoses stories, because I would listen intently, Desi. *smiles*

2009-04-19 [Desi the Red Rose]: *Smiles* Thanks Bear. I would like that. i am sorry that i am being a brat. i am just depressed and stuff.

2009-04-19 [Iruvielle]: It's completely understandable Desi. I would LOVE to hear stories about Jess too... if I had a way to be near ya and listen to the stories. :)

2009-04-20 [Desi the Red Rose]: *Laughs* Hell i know, Jess would love it if you and i shared a bottle of whiskey with her. She would be right there with us. Listening to Nickleback's Dark Horse, and drinking away. *Wipes my tears before breaking down compeletly*

2009-04-20 [Iruvielle]: Awwwww. *hugs Desi*

2009-04-21 [Desi the Red Rose]: *Huggles Beary*

2009-04-26 [~Crimson Angel~]: Awwwwwwww. *hugs you both*

2009-04-27 [cortexius]: Hey jessie its chris its been awhile...i miss talkin to you...i cant believe your gone..i hope your in a better place...the role plays we did in vampire guild was amazing and i hope that one day i can finish the book that i started for the guild...miss you shorty!!!!!

2009-04-28 [no one123456]: Aw... *cries too* I remebered we had planned that her and I were gonna go on a double date with our girlfriends... She was so looking farward to it. We often teased her about it 'cause she mentioned staying in a hotel room and she would get all cute and blushie knowing she'd be alone with her girl...

2009-04-28 [Iruvielle]: awwww, that's so cute.

2009-04-30 [Hiarhu]: *smiles* I remember her laugh whenever I teased her. Always used to threaten to hit me with a frying pan...*sighs* Still can't believe she's gone.

2009-04-30 [no one123456]: This sounds stupid, but I always feel like she's gonna pop up and be like, "Hey guys! Sorry about that!" with a big smile, feeling embarrassed... I dunno why, I just do.

2009-04-30 [Iruvielle]: Haha.
Yea, I know what you mean unforgiven.
I'm still waiting on an answer to a question about a story I was writing with one of her characters in it. *sigh*

2009-05-01 [~Crimson Angel~]: Me too, the poping up part and answer a message part.

2009-05-02 [no one123456]: Yeah... just goes to show how hard it is to let go...

2009-05-03 [~Crimson Angel~]: Yeah, I know.

2009-05-03 [Hiarhu]: The day she..passed she signed onto messenger a few times but I didn't say hi..I keep kicking myself for that, I should have said hi, or something, anything..

2009-05-03 [~Crimson Angel~]: *hugs* It's ok hun.

2009-05-03 [Hiarhu]: It's not ok, I mean I know I couldn't have known but I should have..should have talked to her..something.

2009-05-03 [~Crimson Angel~]: You didn't know, none of us knew she was going to die, I was on elftown when she was but I didn't say hi or anything.

2009-05-03 [Hiarhu]: She signed on and off at least four times that I saw that day..

2009-05-03 [~Crimson Angel~]: Maybe she was bored and wanted someone to talk to.

2009-05-03 [Hiarhu]: Greaaaatt, that makes me feel better.

2009-05-03 [~Crimson Angel~]: Oops, sorry hun.

2009-05-03 [Iruvielle]: Don't worry about it now Hiarhu...
As sad as it is, there's nothing anyone can do about it now.
I kick myself every single day for not messaging her more on here. I really do. I understand. *hugs* But don't regret it... instead, remember the times you DID talk with her. All the great convos I'm sure you two got into.

2009-05-03 [Hiarhu]: *laughs* I made up a song to tease her. I remember her laugh.

2009-05-03 [Iruvielle]: AHAHA! Awesome!

2009-05-03 [no one123456]: Haha nice. How does it go? If you don't mind me asking, [Hiarhu]?

2009-05-03 [Mrs Vicious.]: I was talkign to her four hours before she passed, atleast i got to tell her i love her, when i signed off she sent a message, "sorry im not around so much, you know ive been buisy with school and stuff. it magerly hectic, wish i was there more often" something along those lines.... im like, oh... okies.. then i was told bout it.. and i didnt beleve kat... i didnt belive any one when they said she was gone cos i was just talking to her like... it still hasnt sunk in realy....well.. it has.. but not realy, my first tattoo shall be her name, date of birth and death.. with like a night sky around it.. with stars.

2009-05-03 [Mrs Vicious.]: by he way, she wasnt bored and wanted some one to talk to.. she was buisy and her comp was acting up.

2009-05-03 [Iruvielle]: Awww, that's so sweet Mrs Vicious.
And it's natural for it not to sink in. It might never really sink in.
One of my friends, she was a REALLY close friend of the family... she died of Meningitis.
I still haven't gotten over it. And that was almost a year ago.

2009-05-03 [Mrs Vicious.]: ....no one ever told me what she died of... haha... its funny, only now do i get to find out how my girlfriend died. I am proud to say i have stopped drinking. My boyfriend wasnt fond of me being practicaly paraletic. but i just wanted to excape.

2009-05-03 [Iruvielle]: I'm glad to hear you've stopped drinking. That's a good step to take.

2009-05-03 [Mrs Vicious.]: indeeds.. but now i wish i had somethign elce to do that was self destructive but i dont smoke, ive stoped drinking.. and im not going to harm myself.. i just wish i had like.. relif.. but oh well. so ive resorted to getting piercings.

2009-05-03 [Iruvielle]: *nods* That's good... at least it's not self-mutilation or anything like that.

2009-05-03 [Mrs Vicious.]: i know, i cant stand self mutilation, ive been hurt anough to not want to do it myself.

2009-05-04 [Desi the Red Rose]: I am also getting a tattoo done in her memory. its a rose yin and yang. The "dark" side is a red rose, the "good" side is a white rose and then on the botten, in the thorns it is going to spell Jess.

2009-05-04 [Mrs Vicious.]: cool, sounds lovely.

2009-05-04 [Iruvielle]: Awesome.
You'll have to get a picture, sounds SOOO nice!

2009-05-04 [Mrs Vicious.]: I have just realised a mistake ive made.. I thought you were on about jess dieing of meningitis, and she didnt.. and I still have no idea how Jess died...

2009-05-04 [Iruvielle]: No, I was talking about my other friend. It's been 10 months and I still haven't gotten over it.
No, with Jess... I think it was something to do with her heart...

2009-05-04 [Mrs Vicious.]: I realised when i read over it again im like.. "well arent i special" so i apologise. i know it was something about her heart.. but as it seems, no one is willing to talk about it to me. i dont know why but it seems to be the big pink elephant in the room when im talking to her freinds.. we skirt round it.. avoid most of it... and its fustrating. i want to know what happened..i want to know whats happening.no one has sent me anything of hers yet ither and i requested that moths ago.. i still have the presants she sent me for my birthday and aniversery... still havnt taken the neclace off either. I ust want onelast pice of her damn it.

2009-05-04 [Iruvielle]: *nods*
I understand. *hugs tightly* I do.
And I really hope they respect that and do give you at least something small of hers...

2009-05-04 [Mrs Vicious.]: *sighs and huggs back* yeah me too. i doubt i will ever love another woman after jess, she was.. epic... in every way. no one can compare... no woman anyway.

2009-05-04 [Iruvielle]: *nods* No one can replace someone so special. No one ever should.

2009-05-04 [Mrs Vicious.]: i wouldnt even entertain the notion of replacing her.. nor forgetting her... *nodds*

2009-05-04 [Iruvielle]: Me either.
She'll always have a special place in my heart.. right where ALL my friends are. Even though I didn't know her for very long.

2009-05-04 [Mrs Vicious.]: she took mine with her... just took the whole thing and when she wasnt there it crumbled, the part where my friends reside collapsed and i had to be put back together again.. I realy thank people who put be back together..

2009-05-04 [Iruvielle]: If I knew you well enough, and not just through a wiki, I would have tried to help you through too! :)

2009-05-04 [Mrs Vicious.]: i know, and i would of thanked you dearly for it.

2009-05-05 [Desi the Red Rose]: She died from a blood cot. When they tired to make her heart restart, the medicine dissolved the cot but it was too late. That is all the information i have so far. Diana, Jess's mom wont know for awhile. It may take the full 15 weeks. *Sighs*

2009-05-05 [Mrs Vicious.]: ahhh kk. any news on wether or noti get anything of hers? as a keep sake?

2009-05-06 [Desi the Red Rose]: i will talk to Diana for you, ok?

2009-05-06 [Mrs Vicious.]: cool, thank you.

2009-05-07 [Desi the Red Rose]: you are welcome.

2009-05-08 [~Crimson Angel~]: *sniffles* Stupid blood clots!

2009-05-08 [Kitailec]: Yea...stupid blood clots. ):
That's dumb...and ironic.
Last summer I had another online friend who had broken his foot...
The doctor thought it was all okay, but the break irritated his nerves and veins, causing blood clots. They traveled all through him, without them even knowing, and after about a week, he went into a seizure, then soon after passed away.

2009-05-08 [~Crimson Angel~]: That sucks, I'm sorry. *hugs*

2009-05-12 [Desi the Red Rose]: *Huggles Amebara and Ailec* I am sorry to hear that. But alteast we know that Jess has good company where ever she is doing. Knowing her, She is writing or something to that affect.

2009-05-31 [~Crimson Angel~]: *nods* Probably.

2009-06-05 [Desi the Red Rose]: *huggles Amebara*

2009-06-06 [~Crimson Angel~]: *smiles and hugs Desi back*

2009-06-06 [Desi the Red Rose]: *pokes her with a dead fish* Sorry, i just had too...don't hate me.

2009-06-07 [~Crimson Angel~]: I won't.

2009-06-10 [Desi the Red Rose]: *laughs softly* i am on some new medicane and its making me alittle loopy.

2009-06-10 [Desi the Red Rose]: You know, as i sit here on my 20th b-day, thinking about how jess and i had a big party planned for me and all. it makes me cry to think that she is not here to see me so happy and a year older. its not really fair, i lived to see 20 and yet, jess didn't even get to see 19...it hurts more then after. why was i so speacial that i got to see it? i know i may sound selfish and self centered and for that i am sorry. i just wish my sister, Jess was here with me. i miss you girl. you are one person that i could always count on. i just wish you are happy as ever. i love you, jess. Thank you for being here with me in spirint as i know that you would love to be here in body. you are never far from my thoughts and my heart. i love you sister. Thank you for being in my life.

2009-06-10 [~Crimson Angel~]: *hugs you tightly*

2009-06-10 [Desi the Red Rose]: *holds you to me and crys harder then ever*

2009-06-10 [~Crimson Angel~]: *holds you* It'll be ok, she would want you to be happy!

2009-06-10 [Desi the Red Rose]: i know, but it so hard...

2009-06-10 [~Crimson Angel~]: I know it is, just remember the good times and that she will always be with you, no matter what.

2009-06-10 [Desi the Red Rose]: i am trying but really, sometimes it just makes it harder and harder. you see, the night before she died, i snapped at her...and now i feel like that is what caused her to die.

2009-06-10 [~Crimson Angel~]: *gasps* Don't think that! That isn't true! Don't ever think that for one minute!

2009-06-10 [Desi the Red Rose]: too late, darling. it goes through my head everyday

2009-06-10 [~Crimson Angel~]: Well it shouldn't!

2009-06-10 [Desi the Red Rose]: yeah i know.

2009-06-10 [~Crimson Angel~]: *hugs* You'll get through this, I know it. You'll feel better soon, it'll still hurt sometimes though.

2009-06-10 [Desi the Red Rose]: oh i am getting better, its just hits me at random days. i think its my PTSD acting up again.

2009-06-10 [Iruvielle]: I understand that Desi.
My grandmother died two weeks ago...
and I feel like I kinda neglected her, I mean, I kept telling her I'd be up more to see her, but I'd only seen her like once a month if that...
Then she passed...
It's a horrible feeling.
*hugs Desi*

2009-06-11 [~Crimson Angel~]: Yes it certainly is. Before my uncle died I said I'd go see him more, but I only saw him once before he passed, my parents didn't take me to see him, they were there when he died, but I wasn't, and I felt really bad because I never got to tell him I loved him.

2009-06-13 [Desi the Red Rose]: *Hugs Amebara and Kafykens* Thanks you guys, if it wasn't for jess, i won't have meet two wonderful people like you. Thank you jess for that.

2009-06-14 [~Crimson Angel~]: Awwwwwwwwwww... I'm sure she's saying your welcome somehow

2009-06-14 [Iruvielle]: *nods* She is...
She definitely is.
She'd be honoured to know that she helped you meet people who could be as supportive as they could be! :)
And Desi, if you ever need to vent or rant or anything, feel free to message me and just let all anger or whatever out. :)

2009-06-16 [Desi the Red Rose]: no, i am ok for the second. just having a minor breakdown. its strange, i am fine when i talk about her, to her, thinking back to all the good times or even tell stories about her but god forbid me to think about going to see her or something like.

2009-06-17 [~Crimson Angel~]: Oh, you can talk to me about anything to if you need it. *hugs*

2009-06-18 [Desi the Red Rose]: *hugs you and smiles* thanks for the offer, i will have to take it up. You see, since jess, i moved out of my house....well, my mom disowned me for it.

2009-06-18 [Iruvielle]: Ugh. That's not cool.
Well, I'm always here for ya.
I don't mind.
You can ask anyone of my friends, if they have a problem or just need someone to talk to, I'm there pretty much no matter what! :)

2009-06-19 [~Crimson Angel~]: Me too, why did she disown you for it??

2009-06-20 [Desi the Red Rose]: my mom was using me as an excuse so she could go and meet men...and i was tired of it.

2009-06-20 [~Crimson Angel~]: WHAT?! That is horrible!

2009-06-20 [Desi the Red Rose]: hell, right after jess died, she took me to a hotel room in Ohio so she could go meet up with one of her net b/f.

2009-06-20 [~Crimson Angel~]: WHAT THE HELL?!

2009-06-20 [Iruvielle]: -_-
THAT'S REALLY HORRIBLE! ><
I'm sorry you had to go through that Desi. :(

2009-06-21 [Desi the Red Rose]: its ok.

2009-06-21 [~Crimson Angel~]: I'm sorry too hun. *hugs*

2009-06-21 [Desi the Red Rose]: *huggles and smiles* What the hell do you expect. She is in the BDSM lifestyle.

2009-06-21 [~Crimson Angel~]: BDSM lifestyle, I don't know what that means.

2009-06-21 [Desi the Red Rose]: BDSM is a complex acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&S, D/S, or DS), sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM).[1]

2009-06-21 [~Crimson Angel~]: Oh, alright then.

2009-06-21 [Desi the Red Rose]: Yeah

2009-06-21 [~Crimson Angel~]: I'm still not sure about it, but whatever.

2009-06-21 [Desi the Red Rose]: Its like sexual torture and shit like that.

2009-06-21 [~Crimson Angel~]: Oh, now I know what you mean. I'm such a dork sometimes.

2009-06-21 [Desi the Red Rose]: yeah. its ok. Most people don't know the formal term for it.

2009-06-21 [Iruvielle]: I've heard it.
It's quite a horrible lifestyle in my opinion. ><

2009-06-21 [Desi the Red Rose]: Yeah well, i have know about since i was 6, i thought i wanted to be in at 12 (i was doing it online)...at 18 i got out of it.

2009-06-21 [Iruvielle]: I'm glad you got out of it. *hugs*

2009-06-21 [Desi the Red Rose]: *hugs* yeah, the idea of me whipping a grown man while he is wearing pink female panties is not a turn on.

2009-06-21 [Iruvielle]: Not really.
Actually, that image kind of scares me. O.o

2009-06-22 [Desi the Red Rose]: image him to be on the heavy side of 200

2009-06-22 [Iruvielle]: Oh gosh! >< HORRIBLE! ><

2009-06-24 [Desi the Red Rose]: I know, and now think about him putting baby oil all over his self while i watch. let me tell you, i dont know what got me sicker.

2009-06-24 [Iruvielle]: ugh... ewww ><

2009-06-26 [~Crimson Angel~]: OH MY! I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK!

2009-06-29 [Hiarhu]: I always said you needed a new hobby Desi.

2009-06-29 [Desi the Red Rose]: Hey, I got out of it. But on the another hand. My grandfather was just killed in a coal mine accident and my great grandmother has a brain tumor which we cant do anything about since there is bleeding on the brain.

2009-07-01 [~Crimson Angel~]: OH MY! I'm so sorry Rosie! *hugs you*

2009-07-03 [Desi the Red Rose]: *hugs Amebara* its ok, i am just like...what more can happened? i mean, its getting the point that i don't want to answer the phone.

2009-07-03 [~Crimson Angel~]: I know how that is, it's an aweful feeling.

2009-07-03 [Desi the Red Rose]: yeah it is

2009-07-04 [~Crimson Angel~]: I'm sorry. *hugs*

2009-07-05 [Desi the Red Rose]: *hugs* its ok. This week just going to be hell for me...i know i must sound selfish...

2009-07-08 [~Crimson Angel~]: It's ok, I understand.

2009-07-10 [Desi the Red Rose]: i am sorry.

2009-07-10 [~Crimson Angel~]: *hugs*

2009-07-10 [Desi the Red Rose]: Happy B-day, Jess. We love you!

2009-07-10 [Mrs Vicious.]: Happy Birthday hunny. *puts a rose next to her stone*

2009-07-11 [Kitailec]: Happy Birthday. Miss you.

2009-07-11 [~Crimson Angel~]: Happy Birthday Jess, Love ya girl!

2009-07-11 [Iruvielle]: Happy birthday Jess. Miss you so much!

2009-07-11 [Mrs Vicious.]: the birthdate of Jessica is wrong at the top, its the 11th isnt it? not the 7th.

2009-07-11 [Iruvielle]: yea... O.o

2009-07-13 [~Crimson Angel~]: Sorry I miss read it.

2009-09-02 [Desi the Red Rose]: Sorry i haven't been around, my grandmother died three after we found out about the bleeding brain tumor. i am in college right now, and my one friend just was sent to the hospital today. We dont know what is wrong but she is home for the moment.

2009-09-02 [~Crimson Angel~]: Wow, that sucks, I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, do you want me to pray for your friend?

2009-09-06 [Desi the Red Rose]: Please...

2009-09-06 [~Crimson Angel~]: ok, I will.

2009-09-06 [Desi the Red Rose]: thank you

2009-09-08 [~Crimson Angel~]: *hugs*

2010-01-29 jamie carey: jessica we all miss you very much you was a really good friend to everyone rest in peace sweet ^i^
(to those who dont know me i went to school with jessica and we was good friends)

2010-01-29 [Iruvielle]: Awwwww.
Wow.
Next month it'll be a year.
Doesn't seem like it.

I still expect to see her log on and answer that message she never got to answer from me.

2010-01-29 [Ravendust]: Same here... It's still pretty hard to think that she's gone...

2010-01-29 [Iruvielle]: It really is.

2010-01-30 [~Crimson Angel~]: Yeah, I miss her so much.

2010-01-30 [Ravendust]: me too... e.e

2010-02-01 [~Crimson Angel~]: *hugs everyone*

2010-02-12 [Desi the Red Rose]: I missed her as well. It is killing me to go to the same college, Sit in the same Seat, And keep staring at door, Waiting for her to opened the door, or pull to the parking lot and looking for her white jeep. it hurts to walk in and know she is not there. she not waiting for me in one of the classrooms or sitting near the computers. jess was my sister, my friend, and most of all the dearest person i ever met in my life. Ravendust known me for 10 years. Yet, in those six months of knowing jess were some of my best times. as much as i hate knowing that i was there when she died at the same time, i am happy to know that she wasn't alone. She was Surrounded by me, her mom and her grandmother. She knew she was loved by everyone. In short weeks it will be a year, one of the hardest year in my life. I had a few rough, dark months...trying to find her at the bottem of a bottle while mixing pills. I won't say that i missed her the most, since it won't be fair for those who knew her. But i will say, that after all these 12 months, its not any easier then it was the hour after she died.

2010-02-12 [~Crimson Angel~]: I hear that, and I understand completely. *hugs you tight*

2010-02-14 [Desi the Red Rose]: Thanks Amebara. I hope i didn't offend anyone with my remarks.

2010-02-14 [~Crimson Angel~]: Not that I know of. *hugs*

2010-02-14 [Iruvielle]: No, you didn't, Desi. Don't worry. :) *hugs also* :)

2010-02-14 [Desi the Red Rose]: *Huggles Dj* Thanks. Happy V-day Jess. I remember a year ago we were watch My Bloody Valentine 3D in the movie Theather. Now A year later, i am sitting in the Family's winery, wishing and hoping you will pull up. I know you won't but that is ok.

2010-02-14 [Iruvielle]: :)
She's still here in spirit.
*holds up a glass of water* Happy Valentines Day Jess... and you too Desi. :)

2010-02-14 [Desi the Red Rose]: Same to you, DJ.

2010-02-18 [~Crimson Angel~]: I know it's late, but happy Valentine's day.

2010-02-19 [Desi the Red Rose]: better late then never, Amebara. Regrets are the worst thing to have, and i have more then enough on my shoulders. 

2010-02-19 [Iruvielle]: Forget Regret or life is yours to miss.

It's easier said than done, but try not to regret the past.
Live for now! :)

2010-02-20 [~Crimson Angel~]: True.

2010-02-21 [Desi the Red Rose]: So True, Akatsuki but it seems like that is all i do anymore is regret. From Oct to the first part of Dec. i was drinking more then i should have done...esp. being underage, mixing pills and doing little of pot. So yeah, i have alot to regret. Esp. sleeping with a guy that was 20 years older then me. Don't ask, long story...but i regret it.

2010-02-21 [Iruvielle]: *hugs Desi*
It's tough.
But, if you look back on what you've done... and see the regret you have for doing that, use that to your advantage for the future. Remember that "I was drinking too much" or "I was doing stuff I shouldn't have"... and say "I'm not going to do that again"
It's tough, I know it is. I'm at a point in my life where I regret a million things. But, it'll be alright. :)

2010-02-22 [~Crimson Angel~]: I'm there too, I regret a lot of things too, and Kathy's right it'll be ok. *hugs Desi too*

2010-04-01 [American Revolutionary]: i know kat, its killing me also, i keep waitng for text or a sign that shes stll here, to e honest, i dont hink il ever get overthis.........at all

2010-04-01 [Iruvielle]: Me either.
Not a day goes by when I log on and think of her INSTANTLY. :)

2010-04-03 [American Revolutionary]: *tries hard not to break down*

2010-04-03 [Iruvielle]: It's not a sign of weakness to be emotional and cry. :)
In fact, it's a TRUE HONEST sign that we're only human, and we have emotions. And, most importantly, we care! :)
If you need to break down to ease tension, do it.
Don't hold it back.
:)

2010-04-06 [American Revolutionary]: *drops to my knees, sobbing* i was gonna propose to her...for her twenty fist birthday...

2010-04-08 [Desi the Red Rose]: I know Draggy its going to be ok.

2010-04-09 [American Revolutionary]: *sighs* thanks kat...i dont know what to do anymore

2010-04-09 [Ravendust]: It really sucks, she had her whole life ahead of her...

2010-04-09 [Iruvielle]: *nods*
But such is being a human.
We aren't immortal.
In reality, all of us are slowly dying.
But, look at it this way... she's in heaven... smiling her big beautiful smile down at us. :)
Smile... for her. Even though it's tough... smile as if she just asked you too! :)

2010-04-09 [Ravendust]: yeah...

2010-04-09 [American Revolutionary]: *looks up, with a slight smile* your right...i still remember the last thing she told me.."ive always loved you"

2010-04-09 [Iruvielle]: :)
And that alone is something enough to make you smile.
At least it should be! :)

2010-04-09 [American Revolutionary]: it does, and it always will, at least i know that she loved me

2010-04-09 [Iruvielle]: :)

2010-04-23 [~Crimson Angel~]: *hugs you all*

2010-04-24 [American Revolutionary]: *curls up*

2010-04-24 [~Crimson Angel~]: *hugs you*

2010-04-24 [American Revolutionary]: *trembles*

2010-05-10 [Desi the Red Rose]: Hey guys. I hope everyone is doing good. Sorry i haven't been around....Things are tough but i am getting through it. I am proud to say that i havent had anything to drink for the last six months. I am dating someone who is treating me good. And i am always working and getting my grades back where they belong. Life is going on. And i am proud to say that Jess would be proud of me. I fall off the path, and i know have made mistakes but i am getting my life back on track. I will talk to you guys later. If you ever need me, Message me at rockprincessof1986@yahoo.com. you will have a better chance of getting ahold of me then on here. lmao. Love you all.

2010-05-10 [Iruvielle]: That's EXTREMELY great news! :D
I'm SO happy to hear that Desi! :D

2010-05-11 [Desi the Red Rose]: Thanks Kat. Like i said, I am doing soo much better. My GPA is up to 2.250. During the Fall it was .06. Sooo i am doing soo much better. I would like to say it was all me. But it wasn't. If it wasn't for my boyfriend, family and friends. I am not sure what would have happened to me. Between the pills and drinking, not eating, not sleeping. not doing anything in my life. I am just happy to be alive and well.

2010-05-11 [Iruvielle]: Good!
AHH!
That makes me SO happy to hear. :)
I'm glad you turned your life around... I'm glad you have reason for living again! :D

2010-05-16 [~Crimson Angel~]: Me too.

2010-07-11 [Desi the Red Rose]: Another year has passed and I am sitting at the winery. time goes on but i will never stop missing you. i remember you fondly, dearly. You are my sister in all ways but blood. Life must go and as i will never forget you. I must stop crying. It hurts to know that you never got to see this birthday and the future ones. But I can't keep doing this to myself. I cant stop my life, You would never wanted that to happened. I love you my sister, My dearest friend. You are well missed and loved. Wait for me, Darling. I know i can't wait to your smile, hear your laughter and feel your hugs. I need to stop living in the past, and embrace the future. So darling, as much as i miss you. You are going to be waiting for along time, I am not ready to quit give up my life. I have too much to live for. You won't want me to live like this. I miss you dearly but i can't live in the past any longer. You are NEVER forgotten and you will always be loved.



Happy Birthday, My Dear beloved Sister.

2010-07-11 [Iruvielle]: Happy Birthday Jessica! *sniffle*

2010-07-11 [American Revolutionary]: well, thought id stop in and say happy birthday, and that i miss her...but slowly im gining the stregnth to walk on my own two feet wthout breakin down im glad to hve known her, to have shared love with her she brought a smile to my face..in he darkest times love you,jess your forever in my heart love, and i cant wait till we see eachother again

2010-07-13 [~Crimson Angel~]: Yes, she could always make people smile.

2012-07-10 [American Revolutionary]: well another year gone by, and i wish she was here...this time im the one not faring out so well, every time i eat i cant keep it down, all i wanna do i sleep...its been a while and i havent been the greatest...

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