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2010-11-09 04:13:59
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2013-04-19 [SoulOfSet]: HAHAHAHA :D

2013-04-23 [Stephen]: I don't want to clutter the Guards wiki, so I'm saying it here, but it is in response to the mention of Elfpack on that page. <img:44166_1164145305.gif>

Sammie -- keep anything Elfpack related off anything not Elfpack. I've told you that multiple times. You want to put it in an apply to the crew, then fine, but otherwise do not use it to scrounge for work here or defend yourself. Your actions, as a member of the Elfpack Council, reflect the site and Council as a whole, and if you begin to tarnish that reputation you will no longer be in a position to be able to speak for the Council or for Elfpack on any official basis.

2013-04-23 [Viking]: Hey, that's a good satirical article!

2013-04-24 [Teufelsweib]: I'd like her to point out Czech republic on a map first xD

2013-04-24 [Paul Doyle]: If only Elfpack could recognize its full satirical potential . . .

2013-06-05 [Atossa]: oy!

2013-06-05 [Mortified Penguin]: yo!

2013-06-11 [Mortified Penguin]: Bonnaroo. Anyone going?

2013-06-11 [Viking]: Is Buckaroo Banzai's band playing?

2013-06-11 [Mortified Penguin]: YES.

2013-06-11 [Mortified Penguin]: Also, Paul McCartney.

2013-06-11 [Viking]: Oh, well, McCartney ruins it for me.

2013-06-11 [Avaz]: He ruins it for everyone except old people.

2013-06-11 [Mortified Penguin]: This is true, apparently.

Also, Mumford & Sons, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, BJÖRK, Wilco Pretty Lights, R. Kelly, WU-TANG CLAN, Daniel Tosh, The National, The Lumineers David Byrne & St. Vincent, Passion Pit, The xx, Nas, Bob Saget, Kendrick Lamar, Grizzly Bear Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Animal Collective, Of Monsters and Men, Empire of the Sun Rock n' Soul Dance Party Superjam featuring Jim James, John Oates, Zigaboo Modeliste (of the Meters), Preservation Hall Jazz Band, Carl Broemel, Bilal, Cyro Baptista, plus very special guest Larry Graham, Superjam with RZA, DJ Jazzy Jeff, Schoolboy Q, Earl Sweatshirt, Solange and Chad Hugo featuring Lettuce plus Special Guests Ed Helms' Bluegrass Situation Superjam with special guests, Billy Idol, Beach House, ZZ Top David Cross, Cat Power, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, A$AP ROCKY, Jim James, "Weird Al" Yankovic, Tame Impala, Wolfgang Gartner, Glen Hansard, Gov't Mule Portugal, The Man, Boys Noize, SAM BUSH & DEL McCOURY, Dwight Yoakam, Foals Maria Bamford, Porter Robinson, Local Natives, Matt & Kim, Dirty Projectors, alt-j Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue, John McLaughlin and the 4th Dimension Noam Pikelny & Friends, Amadou & Mariam, Father John Misty, Baroness The Tallest Man on Earth, A-Trak, Walk The Moon, Preservation Hall Jazz Band, The Vaccines Earl Sweatshirt, Conspirator, Paper Diamond, Holy Ghost!, Divine Fits, Mike Birbiglia Purity Ring, Swans, Solange, Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls, Big K.R.I.T., Allen Stone Araabmuzik, Cults, Ed Helms’ Whisky Sour Radio Hour, Lee Fields & the Expressions Fatoumata Diawara, Two Gallants, The Sheepdogs, Scott Aukerman and Reggie Watts, Four Tet, Calexico ALO with special guests, JAPANDROIDS, Death Grips, Eric Andre, Wild Nothing John Fullbright, Django Django, HAIM, The Polyphonic Spree, Bustle In Your Hedgerow Nikki Glaser, Killer Mike, Ariel Pink, Improvised Shakespeare Company, Action Bronson Clockwork, twenty one pilots, Chris Gethard, Reptar, DIIV, Michael Winslow, Black Prairie Milo Greene, Michael Che, Lord Huron, Futurebirds, Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit, Delta Rae Charli XCX, Kyle Dunnigan, Jeff the Brotherhood, Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors Sea Wolf, JD McPherson, James Adomian, Trixie Whitley, Deap Vally, Patrick Watson Jared Logan, Nicki Bluhm & the Gramblers, The Stepkids, The Rubens, Aoife O'Donovan Bombino, Jerrod Carmichael, Bernhoft, Cristela Alonzo, Atta Unsar, DJ Jazzy Jeff, DJ Keebz DJ Logic, DJ Sam Spiegel of N.A.S.A., Jared Dietch, Jonny Santos Chad Hugo + Daniel Biltmore = MSSL CMMND, Vacationer (DJ Set), Y Luv, Alanna Royale Alice & the Glass Lake, Andrew Duhon, Bean, Bri Heart ft Jervy Hou, Capital Cities Casey Crescenzo (of The Dear Hunter), Cat Martino, Chris Stapleton, Cloney Daniel Romano & The Trilliums, Ex-Cops, He's My Brother, She's My Sister, Houndmouth, JAMES McCARTNEY, Jillette Johnson, Jonny Fritz, Kacey Musgraves, Kyng, LiL iFFy Little Red Lung, Lucius, Luxury Liners, Mac DeMarco, Maps & Atlases, Matrimony, Milow Naia Kete, NOCONA, ON an ON, Peanut Butter Lovesicle, Ranch Ghost, Rayland Baxter, Ri¢hie Royal Thunder, Ryan Montbleau Band, Simo, Sons of Fathers, Staying For The Weekend Stop Light Observations, The Mowgli's, The Revivalists, Tiny Victories, Von Grey, Wake Owl White Lung, William Tyler, Soul Khan, Jeni Suk, Black Violin, and Knower will also be there.

2013-06-11 [Viking]: Bob Saget? Fuck yeah!

2013-06-17 [Shmrckle]: i want.. er.. could you.. um

2013-06-21 [Susie-Q]: too drunk to read, who's divine sheepdog killer 400?

2013-07-08 [Terrence Cain]: And to think, I thought Elftown was dead. Looks like I've just been in the wrong damn places on this page. Ha! Oh well, shit happens I guess. How the hell is everyone below--above--or wherever you crazy people are? Isn't it great to be alive? I know, go fuck myself and shut the hell up why don't I?!

2013-07-08 [Teufelsweib]: being alive is the most painful thing I ever experienced

2013-07-09 [SoulOfSet]: I've never tried being dead before. I wouldn't know if it was better then being alive. Anyone have any experience stories they would like to share about it?

2013-07-25 [Ugur gunal]: I would like to get paid maybe the lottery lol

2013-07-25 [Teufelsweib]: I've heard that if you get a job you get paid, might try it out!

2013-07-25 [Avaz]: That's a boldfaced lie. Jobs don't pay you anything but misery and pain. The real money is in hooking. Buy some tight fitting, revealing clothes, then go stand on a street corner. Before you know it, you'll be swimming in money!

2013-07-25 [Viking]: If you work as a hooker, you turn into Scrooge McDuck?

2013-07-25 [Mortified Penguin]: Scrooge McDuck was a hooker. And later a tasty McDuck sandwich at McDonald's.

2013-07-25 [Teufelsweib]: but isn't hooking a job?

2013-07-25 [Avaz]: Yes, yes, and not necessarily.

2013-07-25 [Teufelsweib]: a hobby you get paid for?

2013-07-25 [Avaz]: Pretty much, I think.

2013-07-25 [SoulOfSet]: Yeah like robbing banks and assassinations. Same concept.

2013-07-25 [Avaz]: Precisely.:P

2013-07-25 [Teufelsweib]: well then there you go, [Ugur gunal]!

2013-08-02 [black jack 21]: If you stop sinning then Jesus died for nothing

2013-08-02 [Mortified Penguin]: This is true, apparently.

2013-08-19 [Mortified Penguin]: Hey, faggots. Who wants to play me in a game of chess? Nobody, that's who. Because nobody can beat me. Because I am the greatest.

2013-08-19 [Teufelsweib]: Oh. Ok, then I won't. :/

2013-08-19 [Sunrose]: Derp.

2013-08-19 [Avaz]: Maybe even herp.

2013-08-19 [Viking]: Mort, you'll only play chess against homosexual people?

2013-08-20 [Mortified Penguin]: That or straight people.

2013-08-24 [angelbaby203]: How do I delete this account?

2013-08-24 [Teufelsweib]: never, we're your friends now so you better be happy with us.

2013-08-24 [Sunrose]: <:D

2013-08-28 [Clemce]: Wow. I've just found this account after 6 years of inactivity, I didn't even remember I registered haha... Would like to know how to actually delete my account as well. <img:44166_1164145171.gif>

2013-08-28 [Chimes]: There isn't a delete function on Elftown.

2013-08-28 [Clemce]: Oh, that's good to know. I thought the previous comment was intended to be a joke. Thanks for the info :)

2013-08-28 [Viking]: But, we are your friends now! Why would you want to reject us?

2013-08-29 [Teufelsweib]: I never make jokes :/

2013-08-29 [Clemce]: It does sound ever so slightly creepy, but hey we're all friends:P

2013-08-30 [Teufelsweib]: we have to be, we all once wanted to delete our account until we realized we're stuck here til eternity/til the server crashes for good and no one's arsed to repair it.

2013-09-17 [Aksijuice]: I forgot I made one of these. Fake.swedma keeps routing me here. :/

2013-09-17 [Teufelsweib]: Elftown is the mother of all heddate sites, fake being on of its abominations!

2013-09-17 [Teufelsweib]: and something to do with the crash that fake's out :)

2013-09-17 [Paul Doyle]: If Fake is out for good(no great loss, really), then Real (Elftown, perhaps?) is in? ;-)

2013-09-17 [Aksijuice]: Yeah, no great loss on a content basis, but that is where I host smut fairly free and privately.

2013-09-17 [Mortified Penguin]: That's also where you can find all nude photos of Mort!

2013-09-17 [Viking]: That must be what crashed it.

2013-09-17 [Paul Doyle]: Pulsating Penguins! (There's a healthy mental image for y'all.)

2013-09-18 [Avaz]: That's.... wow.

2013-09-18 [Mortified Penguin]: *Mort's various bulging appendages pulsate erotically*

2013-09-18 [Sunrose]: Sorry but I need a microscope to see that..

2013-09-19 [Aksijuice]: ....XD

2013-09-19 [Mortified Penguin]: *Mort's appendages, clearly offended, detach and crawl away*

2013-09-19 [Avaz]: *The band Primus walks in the door, sets up stage, and opens with the song Detachable Penis, dedicated to Mort*

2013-09-19 [Viking]: They did a cover of the King Missile song?

2013-09-19 [Avaz]: ...I wasn't sure if King Missile or Primus had the original. I went with the "bigger" name. Unless it was just listed incorrectly as being Primus.

Frankly, I always thought it was Cake before I looked it up.

2013-09-19 [Viking]: Cake was a lie.

2013-09-19 [Aksijuice]: ...Cake is everything.

The band, anyway. The food is actually pretty crummy. "I feel obligated to do something homey, here's a cake! But I don't actually love you, so its not a pie".

2013-09-19 [Viking]: I can't even remember one of Cake's songs at the moment.

2013-09-19 [Avaz]: How 'bout the one about driving around on a race track after everyone leaves. I forget the title.

2013-09-21 [Aksijuice]: You're thinking of "The Distance".

Let Me Go, When You Sleep, Sad Songs And Waltzes, Frank Sinatra are all tracks I'd recommend if you have that much give-a-damn in your system

2013-09-21 [Viking]: Huh. I'll check those out.

And you should try Pop Tune by Shonen Knife, Oh Bondage, Up Yours! by X-Ray Spex, In Sleep by the Bouncing Souls, and Strong Come On by the Oblivians

2013-10-07 [natashamcdaniel 89]: Hi anyone wanna talk tonight?

2013-10-07 [natashamcdaniel 89]: <img:44166_1164903263.gif>

2013-10-07 [Avaz]: Sure, but is it necessary to wait until tonight? It's still 9 am. I might forget to talk by the end of the day.

2013-10-08 [No.]: I enjoy stalking people in my spare time. Right now I'm in the middle of stalking Avaz.

2013-10-08 [Viking]: Have you thought about being a professional stalker?

2013-10-08 [No.]: I'm working on know, reading all the guestbook posts, looking at the people who last visited them, that sort of thing. Though I admit, I am still a junior level stalker. Advice and tips are very much welcome

2013-10-08 [Sunrose]: the stalkers

2013-10-08 [Avaz]: And look at that. I forgot to talk for a whole day!

2013-10-08 [Viking]: I bet you were nervous about being stalked.

2013-10-08 [No.]: ah thank you Sunrose :) very VERY helpful! Although I don't think I could stalk on more than one social media platform :( I'm too lazzhy -_-

2013-10-08 [No.]: Hi Avaz <3____<3

2013-10-09 [Mortified Penguin]: SHU. >:(

2013-10-09 [No.]: I love you too :)

I think I'm a Grade D tbf so definitely still a novice stalker

2013-10-09 [No.]: Calls Victim incessantly
-Wants to hang out almost every day
-Stares at Victim incessantly

*Not Guilty*

2013-10-09 [Avaz]: >_>

2013-10-09 [No.]: What did you do today? Did you sleep alright? You looked so peaceful from what I could see through the window...

2013-10-10 [Avaz]: How did you climb up to see? o.o;

2013-10-10 [No.]: I can't give away my secrets, other stalkers might try and take you

2013-10-10 [Avaz]: Either way won't end well. Mrs. Avaz doesn't take kindly to me being taken.

2013-10-10 [No.]: Mr and Mrs Avaz are meant to beeeee :)
My stalking is strictly platonic, however, I can't speak for other stalkers

2013-10-10 [Mortified Penguin]: She probably used my damn ladder I left out there. WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

2013-10-10 [Avaz]: I was wondering why there was a ladder* out there. I had a good conversation with it.

*The ladder is made of humans standing on each other's shoulders.

2013-10-11 [Paul Doyle]: The DNA ladder is broken?

2013-10-11 [No.]: I didn't do it >.<

2013-10-13 [Sincere]: hey, im new, any tips ?

2013-10-13 [Sunrose]: First you need to take our orders and bring us our food, maybe we'll tip you then..

2013-10-13 [Mortified Penguin]: Unless you work at Bob's Diner, where the only tip our waitresses get is the TIP OF MY DICK.

Anyway, point being, eat at Bob's Diner. It's [Sunrose] approved!

2013-10-13 [Sunrose]: So basically Bob's Diner is a selfhelp group for guys with tipless dicks..

2013-10-13 [No.]: I have a tipless opens out into a pretty jasmine flower

2013-10-14 [Sunrose]: That... might be odd to have sex with >_>

2013-10-14 [Avaz]: I could probably find a way.

2013-10-14 [Sunrose]: I never said it was impossible, just..odd :P

2013-10-14 [Avaz]: Good point.

2013-10-15 [No.]: Step 1: place flower over a wide-necked glass jar
Step 2: drip honey on the flower
Step 3: Add boiling hot water

2013-10-15 [Sunrose]: Tipless point!

2013-10-28 [Stoaty]: Hello, all.

2013-10-28 [No.]: Goodnight

2013-10-28 [Avaz]: orly?

2013-10-28 [Sunrose]: shirley!

2013-10-28 [Teufelsweib]: *slaps*

2013-10-28 [Mortified Penguin]: Don't call me Shirley.

2013-10-29 [Avaz]: nowai

2013-10-30 [Paul Doyle]: "I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!"

2013-10-30 [Viking]: *awards point to [Paul Doyle] for Airplane! reference*

2013-10-30 [Paul Doyle]: Remember this guy? xD

2013-10-30 [Viking]: Of course! That guy was hilarious XD

2013-10-30 [Viking]: For scientific research: <poll:77469>

2013-10-30 [No.]: [Viking] you forgot to add the middle!!!! that's discrimination O_O

2013-10-30 [Viking]: But the middle isn't an end!

2013-10-30 [No.]: it depends on which way you look at it

2013-10-30 [Viking]: I look at it from the perspective of someone looking at a banana.

2013-10-30 [No.]: Well you should look at it from multiple perspectives. Preferably all at the same time.

2013-10-30 [Viking]: Hold on, I'll set up some cameras...

2013-10-30 [No.]: :)

2013-10-31 [RoseWrites]: hello all

2013-10-31 [RoseWrites]: nobody here???

2013-10-31 [Viking]: Nope. No one here.

2013-10-31 [Koho Ai]: Nope positively no one.

2013-10-31 [Avaz]: Absolutely no one at all.

2013-10-31 [Paul Doyle]: bompity bompity bomp bomp

2013-11-05 [Ugur gunal]: I will be at the post office in the next couple of days sending my guardian angels things.

2013-11-13 [No.]: I need to post something too but I'm afraid it will end up like Wilson in Castaway -_-

2013-12-10 [Fruit Loops]: shameless self promoting:

2013-12-10 [Teufelsweib]: work for your damn money like the rest of us do!

2013-12-10 [Mortified Penguin]: Yeah! It takes a lot of hard work and effort for me to scam the government like I do.

2013-12-10 [Fruit Loops]: lol Teuf, that page didn't make itself. Many minutes of toil, sweat, and most importantly Love, went into it.

2013-12-10 [Teufelsweib]: love doesn't earn you money! oh wait, it actually can :/

2013-12-10 [Paul Doyle]: is up for sale.

2013-12-18 [darkterra 90]: hello everyone ^.^

2013-12-19 [Viking]: Hello, [darkterra 90]!

2013-12-19 [darkterra 90]: how are you ?

2013-12-19 [Viking]: Sleepy...

2013-12-19 [No.]: *provides a pillow*

2013-12-19 [Viking]: Does anyone have a blanket?

2013-12-19 [hanhepi]: *tucks blanket around [Viking]'s shoulders*

2013-12-19 [Viking]: Thanks! *takes a nap*

2013-12-19 [hanhepi]: *draws on [Viking]'s face while he naps*

2013-12-19 [Mortified Penguin]: *spoons [Viking] while he naps... no homo*

2013-12-19 [Avaz]: I hope that's a sharpie you got there, [hanhepi]...

2013-12-19 [Viking]: Aww, crap. That pen uses indelible ink D=<

2013-12-19 [Sunrose]: So the blanket is only around the shoulders and Mort is spooning and hanhepi is watching this and drawing something on his face..

2013-12-19 [Mortified Penguin]: Sounds about right. At least he can't give me the cold shoulder.

2013-12-19 [No.]: ba dum tishhh

2013-12-20 [Viking]: Well, my right shoulder is made of titanium which tends to get cold. I'm not giving it to you, though, because it keeps my arm on.

2014-01-07 [No.]: I wish my boyfriend was here -_-

2014-01-07 [Teufelsweib]: is that a joke [Viking] or did you actually had some big-ass surgery done there/you are partially cyborg? :O

2014-01-07 [Avaz]: Everyone knows [Viking] is a robot, so it makes sense his shoulder be metal.

2014-01-07 [Viking]: What [Avaz] said.

2014-01-07 [Mortified Penguin]: What [Viking] said about what [Avaz] said.

2014-01-08 [Paul Doyle]: Damn it, you guys . . .

Courtesy of [mr roboto] , of course.

2014-01-08 [Viking]: I know a guy who put $20 into a juke box at a bar and had it play Mr. Roboto at least 50 times in a row.

2014-01-08 [Avaz]: That might seem pretty repetitive for a human, but probably sounds just right to a robot.

2014-01-08 [Viking]: A robot could read and enjoy the digital encoding of the song 50 times in about 3 nanoseconds.

2014-01-08 [Mortified Penguin]: Not a robot from the 80's! They had terrible processing speed...

2014-01-08 [Viking]: No, no. A modern, newfangled robot like me.

2014-01-08 [Mortified Penguin]: Ah, someone with such advanced tech as yourself definitely needs a nice OS to help run it all. Luckily for you, Mort's Special Happy Quick Fun Time Operating System is now legal to be purchased once more! Just send your checks AND money orders to:

Paco P. Paco
P.O. BOX 2
International Waters

And remember, those rumors about MSHQFTOS killing people are false. MSHQFTOS was just defending himself:


2014-01-09 [Viking]: No, I'm running Advanced Multiple Operations Kernal.

2014-01-09 [Mortified Penguin]: *MSHQFTOS whirs threateningly*

2014-01-09 [Sagacious Turkey]: Oh, Morg, you so crazy. *eats ramen*

2014-01-09 [Sagacious Turkey]: Wait, I never had a catch phrase... :(

2014-02-09 [Mortified Penguin]: I did once, but for the life of me, I can't remember what it was. I can't even remember what it was for the life of [Viking]! Oh well... *shrugs and eats turnips*

2014-05-14 [Kappin]: Hi, its nice to be again here :)

2014-05-14 [Teufelsweib]: omfg someone commenting stay calm stay calm

Hello :D

2014-05-14 [Viking]: Hallo!

2014-05-14 [Avaz]: OH SHI*@#$!<img50*0:>

2014-05-16 [Kappin]: Haha, Hi guys! How do you feel about this website? Im not modernized with this, im making my try. I've been out from here for so long...

2014-05-17 [Teufelsweib]: I'm afraid you're a bit too late then, this site is as good as dead with >200 online members, but still cool you came back to check on it :P

2014-05-17 [Viking]: I remember when the online members was regularly that high. Now it appears to be ten. D=

2014-05-17 [Teufelsweib]: yeah daily online members are that low, but the overall online members (I think that counts for the amount of people that have been online the last 100 days or something?) is <200 right now :P

2014-05-19 [Vai]: Hola

2014-05-20 [Avaz]: Aloh. That kind of works as an accented "hello" I think. :)

2014-06-06 [RoselitaAmbrose]: Hello.

2014-06-06 [Viking]: Hallo!

2014-06-06 [Mortified Penguin]: Knock knock.

2014-06-09 [Avaz]: Who's there?

2014-06-13 [Sunrose]: Me!

2014-06-15 [Triola]: What a twist!

2014-06-16 [Avaz]: Me who?

2014-06-18 [Company Awesome]: @ [Teufelsweib]: You know, in a world of Myfaces and Spacebooks and a thousand other new shiny avenues of communication, I think there's something to be said about sticking to sites like Elftown. For all the hundreds and thousands of "Friends" one can accrue, it's become almost impossible to actually connect and communicate with random folk on levels that don't involve some sort of social media.

What's worse is that people have been "weirded out" about me asking about their materials, construction time, process, concepts, and other simple general interest questions. Not so with this site.

2014-06-18 [Viking]: Indeed. Elftown is the most social of the various social sites I've participated on. It's too bad the site stagnated in user growth and overall development.

2014-06-19 [Sunrose]: Heh most friends I have on other media are Elftowners :P

2014-06-19 [Viking]: Me too. Except for the ones that I know in Real Life and talk to face-to-face somewhat regularly. Also, Elftown is the only social site that I've actually met people and made new friends (if even only over an internet connection).

2014-06-19 [Mortified Penguin]: I'm pretty sure Elftown stagnated like that because of the application system that [Hedda] made to stop [Sagacious Turkey] from making so many clone houses. Because soon after that, new members started declining really rapidly until nobody wanted to bother making an account anymore. And the only reason [Sagacious Turkey] had to make all those accounts was because [Sunrose] banned him. So, when you think about it, Elftown's fall was really mostly [Sunrose]'s fault. Delete Sunrose now!

2014-06-19 [Sunrose]: You should make a wiki about all the theories that lead to me as a leading cause for Elftown's demise, the above one is definitely not the only one out there :P

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